Hi all I am facing a very common problem
I am in a serious relationship with a gal since 4 years.I tried to convince my parents but they are not agreeing.
They are only thinking about what people will say and not my happiness.
The gal is from same caste but different " Gotra ". that's the only reason the are not accepting our relation.
I love my family and don't want to hurt them , at the same time i can't leave that girl.
I am working.

please help me guys.

Have you read first post of this topic, Pulkit has shared some good ideas and advices.

thank u very much pulkit.But the thing is that my Parents don't want to meet her parents and the gal.all they are saying is k " Log kya kaenge " and " Ijjat nai karega koi teri ". and my dad is saying dat if u will do court marriage , leave us and don't come here again.

Man u should write a holy book on love


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Originally Posted by Raj_89

thank u very much pulkit.But the thing is that my Parents don't want to meet her parents and the gal.all they are saying is k " Log kya kaenge " and " Ijjat nai karega koi teri ". and my dad is saying dat if u will do court marriage , leave us and don't come here again.

Hi Raj_89,


Firstly, thanks alot for reading the post. This forum is meant for people like you who are in pain and have nobody to share their feelings to...!!! Welcome to the forum.

Secondly, since this is a post written by me, I would appreciate if you can run a thread in your name, posting the same problem their. It will be more visible to others and they will also help you out. I will only brief you here.

Now, coming to your problem, which is obviously a very common problem for couples in love when they decide to marry each other. Take it for granted, argument will lead you nowhere. Realize they are your parents and you should respect them. But, that doesn't mean you don't fight back for something which is wrong on their part. All I want to say is be assertive in your approach. Make them understand, if they can say to you that you can leave your house and never come back if you opt for court marriage, then, you can also tell them that you will not marry anyone else except your girl and you are ready to wait till either they agree or you die.
Parents generally object on baseless issues of caste differences and family status because they feel, love for today's generation is just a game or a fashion statement...and so they want their children to settle down with a person best suited for them, seriously . But once they realize that their children is damn serious about their relationship and really love their partner, they eventually agree to it. Afterall what a parent want is that their child should be secure, happy and in safe hands.
So, its all about communication. Communicate as much as you can and be assertive in your approach. Don't hurt their feelings and emotions. Listen to what they say but don't accept.
Give some more time to your fight, let your parents understand your relationship. I am sure they will meet your lover too.

Originally Posted by jimmyjjohn

Man u should write a holy book on love




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Hi jimmyjjohn,

Definitely friend, if I will write it, I'll make sure you grab the first copy of it.
I don't feel there is anything wrong in helping people with problems they can't discuss with anyone.
Would appreciate if you too can contribute to it.

Hi pulkit,

These are very good ideas and valuable too. But this is for parents who have patience to listen and care for their kids or have open mind to some extent or at least not extremists. In my case m from south n like a north indian guy. Recently said in home got house arrested lost my job almost even lost my life.. by god's grace came out.
For such type of family n parents these suggestions wont even touch their ear externally.. What to do in such case? Its impossible to make dogs tail straight same way is my parents.. they believe more relatives than their kids and there is nothing so grateful like caste for them..
All they care is CASTE CASTE CASTE ..... and they will go any extreme...
I have see things beyond possibility and such cases these good options you gave wont even have its way towards them.. any thoughts how to convince such parents?

I am facing same problem. Girl's father don't want to even consider me as I am not of same caste.

She tried for almost 6 months to convince her father. Even my mother called up her father but he is not even ready to talk and said if I or someone from my family calls him he will take legal action. Girl has given up I think. what should I do? Should I call her dad directly?

PS: I am graduated from one of the top colleges in India and making good amount of money. My family is one of the most reputed family in city. I cant understand why her father is behaving like this and what can be done ?