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In very confused state of Life -convince parents

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  1. #1

    In very confused state of Life -convince parents

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    Hello Everyone,

    This is Ria.... I am at a very very confused state of life.... As now its time for me to get married... So today i am going to share with you all a very important secret of my life...
    I met a guy in June 2012 according to my mom n dad's wish.. He is a very nice guy i love him a lot n lot n lot... and same is with him..
    When we met my mom n dad dint know about his status, and later on they came to know that boy's financial background is not very strong as we have. But till the time they told me to stop talking to him and start ignoring him it was very late as for both of us it was love at first sight when we met in June...
    Since last june till now w love each other like anything and it is next to impossible for both of us to marry someone else. But my mom and dad want me to get married in a family which is financially very strong, but for me it hardly matters as me and him both of us are working with good companies and we know we can manage each other.
    Now i dont want to hurt my parents as well as i don't wanna marry some other guy... Help me please what to do? How to convince them?
    Also they don't know that we are so deeply connected with each other. So soon i am going to talk to them regarding our relationship. So please help me with some solid points which you think can help convincing my parents.

    Thanks,
    Ria

  2. #2
    swapnilramani's Avatar
    swapnilramani
    swapnilramani is offline eTI Iron
    Both of you sit together with your parents and openly discuss the matter with them that you both will be happy together and if they try to seperate you they will harm and hurt 4 lives together the 1 of you, 2 of your bf 3 of the boy with which they want you to marry and also the girl with whom your bf will marry, and all this will be because of their force they are putting on you to marry the boy of their choice just because of the financial background of the boy you love, tell them, the situation never remains the same as both of you are working in good companies it is just a matter of some years when everything will change and you may be in good position to live your future life.
    All you can do is just try and convince your parents as you met the boy you love with their consent and wish and now if you have fallen for him after meeting him, they can't do this to you and your partner just because of the financial background.

  3. #3
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hi Dear Friend,


    Definitely the financial security is a concern for each parent out there for their lovely daughters and they don't agree to the marriage proposal until they are satisfied. But you need to make them understand, nowdays everybody is in a private job and its really hard to earn a good livelihood without both the partners working. So eventually howsoever good or bad a guys financial status is, things don't matter much. Moreover, your guy loves you and will always ensure that you are not short of the comforts of life. Its just the start of life for you both and if that person is vibrant, dynamic and has an urge to run his family, grow and do better in life, he will always try to earn more.

    Meanwhile if your parents are still not agreeing for the match, you can ask them to wait for sometime until you get married to a guy of their choice. This time should be enough for your guy to proof his worth to your family that since he loves you truly, he cares of your comforts and well-being. When your parents are satisfied with the boys earning and his future plans, his savings etc, they will marry you to him.




    Please provide more information on his financial background and what made you comment he is not strong financially ?
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


  4. #4
    Hello Everyone,

    Thanks a lot for responding to my post...
    Need more suggestions from you, as there is one major concern regarding my BF's parents as his dad is not on a very high post my dad has a problem with that as well and also his mom is not that much educated but has very high family values and she loves me a lot.
    Now my dad says i dont have problem with boy earning less but his dad is not on high post and at the time of wedding what will he tell to every one that my daughter's inlaws are doing what in all "what society will say, u had one daughter and u married her in such a low status family" now his major concern is that.
    Kindly help me to convince him on these grounds.

    Thanks,
    Ria.

  5. #5
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hi [email protected],


    Well society and people around has always been a concern for most of the parents. They think about marriage from a different perspective altogether. For them, their daughter's happiness is also important and their image in society is also relevant. For parents, there has to be a WIN-WIN situation always, only then will they be ready to marry you to him.

    You need to talk to your parents and explain them how will they feel if the society goes enchanting their name when their own daughter will blame them for her unhappinessness. Make them understand, society or people in it will never matter to them. Relatives don't matter in a marriage when there are two hearts wanting to be together. No relative will come to help them if they fall ill suddenly, its only the neighbours who come in first for help. So, if your parents are worried about relatives, then they should not because happiness of their daughter should be their priority.

    Also, make them understand, with time everybody will forget about where you got married, whom you got married to and what his family background is? Sooner or later everybody will involve in his or her life and there will be nobody who will be worried about it. But yes, for the whole lifetime there will be one person who will be most affected with their decision now and who will blame them for it, and that is, their daughter.

    So, you should talk to them and make them understand what is more important for them- their society or their daughter's happiness ? I am sure they will understand your word. Only a clear communication between you and your parents will sort this matter. Hit them hard with your facts and genuine reasons. If you are right in your approach, no parent will ever stop you in achieving your dreams.

    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


  6. #6
    Hi Pulkit,

    Today i am at my hometown and in the evening i am going to talk to them very clearly.
    Thanks a lot for ur support

    Ria.

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  8. #7
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Quote Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
    Hi Pulkit, Today i am at my hometown and in the evening i am going to talk to them very clearly. Thanks a lot for ur support Ria.
    Hi dear, Definitely you should talk to your parents about the whole case with your parents. I believe 90% of the problems an be sorted out if you communicate clearly. I wish you Luck !! And do tell us what happened.
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


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