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Engaged to Guy from 1 year but I don't love him

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  1. #16
    manojbhagat
    manojbhagat is offline eTI Iron
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    Sakshi,
    Hey frankly speaking, it sound little filmy, but instead of wasting three life its better show some guts and tell directly to mom and dad, that you love someone else. Don't pushed them try to convince them, make them realize that if i will marry him(with whom your marriage is fixed) i will be no more happy and myself in this world. And if you are sure that to whom you love is ready to take your responsibility till the end than must marry with your loved one. In nowadays life you have to think practically all the things. But in a head if anythings wents wrong then everyone will consider you yourself responsible for this.

  2. #17
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hi Sakshi,


    Exactly like what manojbhagat said is something that I want to say. Why don't you understand, they are your parents and they will always want you to marry a person of their choice because it comes to their pride and upbringing( which is totally baseless assumption ) of their child, if he/she choose to marry a person of his/her likes.

    Just like any other parents, they will try to impose these emotional, physical restrictions on you. If you really don't agree with me, you can very well check out the forum. There are numerous posts with similar topics.

    You are saying your boyfriend can do anything for you. But tell me one thing, when will he consider taking a step, after you are married ?? You want to get married to him, but I don't see you are putting in some serious efforts into making it possible.
    As said before, TALK to your "to-be-husband" and tell him you don't want to get married. Ask him to call off the marriage because you are being pressurized into getting married to him.

    Also, make him understand and your parents too...by marrying to your "to-be-husband" you are directly ruining 3 lives and others to on a stretch. Make them understand, why on earth do they want you to blame them for the rest of your life for ruining your life. Why they want that they are hold responsible for things that happen in future between you and your "to be husband"..

    See you have a very less time. IF you are SURE your boyfriend loves you and is ready to take your responsibility, then both of you should work in that direction. Its hard time you should consider taking a move. Now that your parents have come to know about your relationship with your office friend, it will not take them by any surprise if you confront them directly with your decision.

    It time when you should act now than regretting later, Sakshi. If things don't work out and you are forced to compromise, you can get married to any good guy anytime in life you want. You know your worth, you belong to a good family, you are cultured, must be beautiful too, educated well...what else do a guy need. Your ability to love someone is unquestionable and I am pretty sure, collecting all these qualities of yours, you will find an appropriate match anytime for you. But your love is striking on your door, its time when you should atleast work in a direction to grab it.

    I hope you understood what I want to convey.
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


  3. #18
    sakshi shah
    sakshi shah is offline Just in!
    Hi,
    I understand what you are saying.I m too imotional person I have a big family here and I love them allot.From my childhood I am a very good child and my image is like a very understanding and sincere child.My mom told me that no one can imagine that you are doing this.Actually all my cousin di who is almost age of 40 now all created some issues in their marriage time but they were not so capable to do something for theirselves and my mom think that if they can adjust why not me she thinks that I will adjust after 4 years but what about now.They told me that dont make us feel that we are pressurising you.I know it is my fault that i m not in love with the guy they choose for me maine sirf unke bare me sochke use ha ker di I am an software engineer after BE spend two years at home after that my friend who is my bf now told me to join his company I was in depression at that time not confident about my self today what i m is just becoz of him.In office nobody knows about us even they dont know about my engagement.

  4. #19
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hi sakshi,

    Dekhiye jo aap keh rhi hain, woh bhi kaafi hudd tak sahi hai. Lekin agar aapko itni problems thi aur agar aap itna unsure thi apni family ki taraf se, toh pyaar karne se pehle sochna chahiye tha.

    Dekhiye dost, samjhne ki baat sirf yeh hai ki shadi aapko aaj nahi toh karni hi hai...lekin yeh shadi hogi kisse - aapke boyfriend se ya unse jinko aapke parents ne pasand kiya hai aapke liye. Main sirf yeh chah rha tha ki aap ek baar achche se koshish karein. Dekhiye iss baat se aap bhi sehmat hongi ki parents kabhi love marriages ke liye tayar nahi hote, lekin iska matlab yeh nahi hai ki love marriages nahi honti. Inn sab cheezon ko hone mein thoda waqt lagta hai.

    Agar aap galat nahi hain apne decision mein, toh mujhe nahi lagta aapko apne parents ko convince karne mein koi pareshani ka saamna karna padega. Dost, zaruri nahi hai ki aap bhi apni dusri behon ki tarah apni zindagi se compromise karein. Aaj bhale hi woh apni zindagi mein aage badh gayi hain, lekin agar woh apne pyaar se shadi karti toh shayad zyada khush hoti.

    Dekhiye mein aapko kisi bhi cheez ke liye force nahi karunga kyunki humme iss baat ka koi haq nahi. Aap apne ghar aur pariwaar walon ko sabse achche se janti hain. Humme jo sahi laga, humne woh aapko bola. Lekin agar aapko lagta hai aap isse aage nahi badha payengi...toh mere hisab se aapko apne boyfriend se rishta khtam kar dena chahiye.

    Dekhiye Sakshi, jo kuch karna hai aap dono ko karna hai. yeh aapki zindagi hai, aapko hi isse jeena hai. Agar thodi si himmat karke apne liye kuch achcha karengi toh aapke liye achcha hoga. Agar aise himmat haar jayengi, toh aap khud hi janti hain ki kya hoga.

    Agar main aapki jagah hota toh ek baar hi sahi koshish zarur karta.

    Rest is all upto you to make. Whatever you post here, say all this to your parents. There is no point in conveying your feelings to us but yes, if you will do it to them, you might see things working out in a positive way.

    I wish you Luck !!!
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


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