I found my husband profile on a dating site, and the same profile in other two dating websites also. Checking his id and searching throughtout the messages i encountered a message with a girls private parts pictures in it, as well as a reply to a craigslist ad,asking a woman to come to our home because he couldn't travel (kids at home in bed). Besides becoming physically sick, full of rage and more anger and disgust than i thought was possible, i am extremely broken.

Part of me wants to believe him that he says that was as far as anything went (just what i saw/found) but clearly i cannot trust him and it seems to be ridiculous. I want him gone, but we have three young children that i need daily help with. It's too close to home and too real. He says he wishes it never happened but her just was clicking around some bad stuff. I've been treating him like one of the kids the last three years and haven't been open to him physically or treating him as an equal. For the record i spent most of these years pregnant. Although our private life was never ended, it was going all well but however the frequenccy changed due to babies.

I just don't know what to do. Does trust ever come back? At this point i feel it is impossible but I'm so trapped with the kids at the same time i can't do anything about it.

Hi Lucy,


Frank enough, your husband is somewhat obsessed with sex. The frequency of kids you have in 3 years and all his activities, it seems more of a psychological problem.
Firstly, you need to talk to your husband frankly about this and tell him this is not going to continue because his habit and urge of getting physical is ruining your respective lives. Tell him that you also have a life apart from caring for your kids and husband. You are his wife, not a slave and hence you can have your say on this.

Secondly, you can get in touch with a psychiatrist and discuss about your problem with him. Or if you have a counselor who can give you some knowledge on family planning, you can refer your problem to him.

Also, a mutual friend can help in this alot. A friend with whom you can share this and will understand your part well; who can help both of you sort this out.