Hi guys, I'm 20 years old pursuing aerospace engineering from a reputed college. The girl i like is a medico, and we both were high school friends. We know each other for 5 years and have been best friends since then. I had told her about my feelings two years, and had confessed. She was confused and said it's not a decision for me to make, and had rejected me but we stayed friends none the less. Since then we had talks on my feeling every once in few months and has always ended to friendship. Our relationship had all the elements of a proper relationship, except for not hearing i Love you and physical intimacy. And everytime things would go on smoothly for a while we would reach a peak of our relationship(she even has told okay we'll stay together lets see what happens in future) and suddenly just after that within few days she would say we shouldn't be like this we are just friends etc etc and the cycle repeated, this cycle has happened for five time already and every time i would say we would stay just friends and tried to keep a hold on my feelings. The last time she told that we can't be together because our families are from a different castes and the marriage wont happen in future so there's no need of being/ having those feelings, even after talking for hours she wouldn't budge and said lets split and didnt call me for a few days. But again she started talking and things started moving on. I had not raised any point of my feelings with her even after 4 months but suddenly one of her friends had told her those feelings wont die, either stay away from him or be together. So she had asked about this, i told her yes they have not gone, i might hide them but they stay. She thought about it for a day or two and said lets be together and after a few hours again started we cant be together and all. I asked her promise me weather if she had any feelings on me or not, if didnt have i would leave her and wont trouble her. At first she hesitated and didnt reply, she said i didnt have but didnt make a promise when i insisted she was quite. After a day again the same talk resumed and this time she said Yes' i didn't like you and all. I felt bad because, it felt as if all this time i had forced her for everything and told her chose a side i cant be in between just as a friend. She said you can continue being just a friend and try on me again and again but i would never change you should give up on your feelings. So, i made the call okay if you can't change then fine lets stop talking and hung up sorry if there was any mistake from me...
It been almost a week and there hasn't been anything from her, i havn't contacted her since then too(many of the time previous i would have txtd her many a time to call or reply). I feel like calling her or txtng her but i want her to do the same not me as I've done that always in the past. A friend of mine is telling me to move on dont wait for her. But half of my mind tells me to wait.
What should i do?

P.S: She a very reserved person and has a very few friends other than me. And would do anything that her parents say. She doesnt want to her parents even a slightest bit from her side. I'm a bit sensitive guy.

She doenst seem to be interested don't waste your time. Let it be limited till friendship and concenterate on your career. trust me this time won't come

Hi rak21,


Well, couple of noticeable things here.

1) For a love relationship to develop, its not always necessary that you and and your partner should be involved physically. Instead for guys like you, who are pursuing their careers, involving in a sexual intimate relationship ( if that's what your implication was by the word "physical") is something not appreciated. You guys need to become more mature to understand fully the concept and dynamics of a physical relationship. For many, its for fun and pleasure, but in actual things change drastically after you involve yourself in a physical relationship. So, if you feel for a relationship to develop completely, you and your girlfriend needs to have some physical intimacies, then obviously you are wrong.


2) Your female friend seems confused. She is afraid of three things - (i) getting in a relationship, because she is here to study (ii) getting rejected by her parents because both the families are from different castes, and (iii) whether is she doing it right or wrong i.e. is she honest to you and will she be able to carry forward this relationship or not.

3) You are perhaps too much driven by her. I don't know if its her good nature or beauty or whatsoever which has dominated over you so much so that you are perhaps not able to see the mess around you.
Understand, its your college time and you are going through your very crucial phase. Its the matter of your career and this is actually the time when you should be concentrating more on your studies than this friend of yours.

Speaking frankly, your female friend seems to much confused with her feelings. You can see how muddled she is. Anyways, if you guys get in a relationship too, I don't feel so it will long much. Plus you will have fights and at every level, she will always try to back off thinking that it was her wrong decision. Even if things work out well for sometime, it will end from her side when your families will get involved and if there is slightest of objection from her parents. So, eventually, things will become difficult for you to handle someday.

So, its better for you to move on. If possible, try to limit your contact with her because staying in contact with her will amplify feelings in your heart and you will never be able to move forwards in your life. Realize your parents are investing money on your career to make you a good & reputed human being. Don't be the fool to roam around her because she will always be in confused state of mind. You will never get a clear answer from her cause she seems not interested in you. Take my advice, you shouldn't but time on this. Instead focus on your studies. Its never bad not to have a girlfriend in college time.

I believe you are mature enough to take a wise decision !!

assalaam o alaikum......i think u should forget her n move on

Originally Posted by Pulkit

,


Speaking frankly, your female friend seems to much confused with her feelings. You can see how muddled she is. Anyways, if you guys get in a relationship too, I don't feel so it will long much. Plus you will have fights and at every level, she will always try to back off thinking that it was her wrong decision. Even if things work out well for sometime, it will end from her side when your families will get involved and if there is slightest of objection from her parents. So, eventually, things will become difficult for you to handle someday.

So, its better for you to move on. If possible, try to limit your contact with her because staying in contact with her will amplify feelings in your heart and you will never be able to move forwards in your life. Realize your parents are investing money on your career to make you a good & reputed human being. Don't be the fool to roam around her because she will always be in confused state of mind. You will never get a clear answer from her cause she seems not interested in you. Take my advice, you shouldn't but time on this. Instead focus on your studies. Its never bad not to have a girlfriend in college time.

YThank you Pulkit

Originally Posted by Pulkit

,


Speaking frankly, your female friend seems to much confused with her feelings. You can see how muddled she is. Anyways, if you guys get in a relationship too, I don't feel so it will long much. Plus you will have fights and at every level, she will always try to back off thinking that it was her wrong decision. Even if things work out well for sometime, it will end from her side when your families will get involved and if there is slightest of objection from her parents. So, eventually, things will become difficult for you to handle someday.

So, its better for you to move on. If possible, try to limit your contact with her because staying in contact with her will amplify feelings in your heart and you will never be able to move forwards in your life. Realize your parents are investing money on your career to make you a good & reputed human being. Don't be the fool to roam around her because she will always be in confused state of mind. You will never get a clear answer from her cause she seems not interested in you. Take my advice, you shouldn't but time on this. Instead focus on your studies. Its never bad not to have a girlfriend in college time.

Thank You Pulkit, will try to move on and look forward in the right direction.