Hi ,

I have a typical situation here. I am 27 years old. I want to marry my girlfriend. we are in love since 7 years. from year now my parents came to know about our love. I am lucky that her parents gave their node for this marriage with out much hiccups. But my parents are opposing for this marriage.
Reason : She is just 40 Days elder to me, not of my caste. My mom and My Girlfriend had small cat fight between them while trying convince my parents.
We both never thought of run and marry. I am not ready to go against my parents and her parents seek a node from my parents before the marriage. please suggest what step to take and how to live together with our parents.......

When ever i approach my parents about my relation they avoid by saying they need time to think. I agree they require some time to get convinced. But the time that my parents require is more than one year. and waiting one more year for a Girl of my age is also difficult (at least in India). Her parents and she is also keep asking me about the out come of the discussion with my parents.

please please suggest what step to take and how to live together with out hurting my parents.......

Thanks
Tusharkant

well Tushar after reading your post I would like to ask you what kind of fight happebed between ua gf n mom was is too much serious????
Also, I think you need to probe them a little into this matter and tell them to share their views as avoiding the topic will not solve the problem, describe the good qualities of ua gf which hav made u fall for her
You may also let ua gf take time to get mixed with ua parents n also tell her to keep her cool as this type of issues require utmost politeness and patience to be handled we are there to convince them very softly and not by raising voice or having fights.....

And in meantime you may try to talk to ua parents about marrying ua gf n settling with her

Hi Tusharkant,

Thank you for writing to us.


The point that your parents need sometime to think about this relationship and your marriage with her itself gives a clear indication that atleast they are not completely against this matrimonial alliance. Also, the fact that her family has given a nod to this marriage, has added a lot to this thing in a much positive manner. All that needs to handle is your parents.

Well, everything seems settled in a somewhat positive and good manner, so you hardly need to bother so much. All you can do is, strengthen this relationship alot more than it is already. Your daily activities at home show speak aloud of your love for her. Talk to her more often over phone, mention about her alot more than you used to do, talk about the good things in her, meet her often etc etc. Give a very deep indication to your parents that you CANNOT imagine your life without her and that you are completely INVOLVED in her.

Remember, your parents have not discarded this relationship. This means, somewhere in their mind they have accepted the girl. The only problem being they are not able to convince themselves on this 40 days elder issue. So, let them understand that your utmost desire and happiness rest in your girlfriend and that if they try to pull you apart from her, it would end up very badly on them.

Moreover, whenever next this topic of marriage erupts at your house, tell them 40 days isn't a very huge time. Nobody will even remember it in future. Had the difference been of 2-3 years, it would have been alarming for them. But 40 days even doesn't reflects on your face.

If possible, try to organize a meeting between both the families so that everyone has an understanding of each other so that matter doesn't rest till you, but elders are also involved in it.
I am sure, you will be able to convince your parents on this.