hi all..im in love from past 4 yrs...we used to study in the same school..right now im 24 and she 23...both our parents know abt our relationship .... problem started off here:-(:-( her parents want her to get married within a year but i cant do so...and heres my problem
:my sis is yet to be married...my parents want her to get married after 2 yrs just to prepare ourselves to perform the wedding quiet decently...(financial)..
:my elder brother got married just 4months ago which is why we need some time to stabilise the financial side of our family bfr sis marriage.
This were im in a spot at my home...which is a genuinely a problem...
but my gfs parents particularly her dad is asking her to get married within a year and she explained it to him yet he is not convinced and he supports his wish saying as follows
: ur my only daughter bfr i get too old i must get u married and earn enough so i can buy my grandchildren everyrthing tey wish blah blah...
:if u get married early i can do my duties as a father bfr i loose my strength to work..


and her mom supports me but she cant help beyond this ....and i wanted to meet him next week il try explaining him the problems and try to make him understand hope he gives me a chance...since we live in india here its not acceptable for a man to get married bfr his sis gets married...my sis is just 1and a half yr older to me...what is your advice friends?
and his dad keeps saying if we cant get married when we say u forget him forever but she is a brave and practical girl she keeps convincing them...and moreover i cant watch them torture her everyday like this which she tries to hide from me tats coz she doesn want me to feel guilty...waiting for a valuable suggestion guys

Hello there,

Yes do go and speak to her father, know what exactly you are going to say before you go there and be ready to answer for what he may ask you or tell you to do. It would be good if you can take an elder, be it someone from your family or your family friends, one who is supporting your love and marriage, so the two elders can discuss. He may have his woes and issues, but better not to take chances with an unknown someone, than a known someone whom his daughter already knows and loves and also a guy who loves her; far better than taking a risk with time rather than change of the person itself. Let your point be around that. And your finances let him know it will improve with some time. And if it does not work out on the gals, side, at the same time, try to convince your own parents, if your elder brother can marry, so can you, and if needed, let them know, if you have to, do it in writing, that you will be there for your sisters marriage to help and to take care.
And with your love and marriage, there is a way, practical, spiritual, DIVINE methods can win your love and marriage, if you and your gal and her mother willing to do. Follow the path below, has helped many. Your situation is similar to being in a ball of threaded knot, and one needs to know which thread must be untied first and last, so that all threads untangled, free and happy.

http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ds-dr-sky.html


Dr.Sky

Hi someone,

You could have used a better name than this. Its sounds really awkward to say " Hi someone ". So, Mr. someone, here is what I feel you can do.



Understand, what her parents, especially father wants from you - all he wants is that his daughter is given in some safe hands. Marriage is not the problem I see here. The concern is the security that you gonna marry her sooner or later. Its not because her father is growing old and will loose all his energy in time-span of 2-3 years. Its all about that he needs to be secured that his daughter is " booked " by you and you will definitely marry her in coming future.

So,assuming that things are going good from your family's side and that your parents have accepted the girl as their bride-to-be, I would advice you to talk to her dad whenever you meet next and ask him to arrange a very small engagement ceremony which would include both the immediate families. Now, this engagement will bind both of you in a lifelong love bond of future husband and wife and will also do away with the insecurity her father is facing right now.

You can arrange a meeting between the elder members of both the family and organize a very private affair that will give him a surety that his daughter is all yours and his responsibility as a dad is over.

If both the families can agree to it, this is the optimum solution. You don't need to invest alot. Buy a ring and do away with the engagement part.


I hope you understood my point.

Mr someone is back as eagle...i spoke to him last week and i couldnt convince him...i was talking but he remained silent all along and at last just said ul have a year and half....and i took my brother and everything was hopefully not worst...i was atleast happy i could buy some time...
The very next day everything turned from good to worse...he had a cardiac arrest and was hospitalised i visited him now he is back home and started saying there is just a year for the marriage and even my gf is supporting him partially....my family said me never its gonna happen so early...no ones ready to accept anything i say...i was so very pissed off i decided to call it quits and move out of town for a week but again it seemed very cowardly....guys i still think he can wait for 2 yrs..and no matter wat il not give in...am i doing the riight thing.....its impossible to please everyone:-(
suggestions with thought

Hi Eagle,

Frankly speaking, things have changed now and situation has become pretty much difficult and intense now.

He has just come out of an heart attack and now will be much more tensed and worried about his daughter's wedding with you. But the good part is, he has still given you an year.

Secondly, no girl would like to fight or even go against the will of a father who has just survived a heart attack. So its quiet obvious if she is supporting him.

Now what to do is, you have one year. Try your level best to earn as much as you can. I know I am talking stupid but you need to buckle up yourself and perform howsoever good you can in whatever you are doing so that it will increase your chances of earning good.

This might hit in some other way too. If her father recovers well from this hear attack and if he is impressed with your hard work, dedication and urge to marry his daughter, he MIGHT extend this deadline to some more time. But this all is completely hypothetical and purely luck, by chance.

Also, you have personal loans which you can utilize for marriage. You can have a loan from any bank and pay its instalments at regular intervals. See, you are a guy. Had you been a girl, managing finances would have been a bigger concern cause marrying a girl involves alot of money. I am not saying that guy's side don't invest money at all. It does but less in amount than girl. So, if you feel okay enough you can consider lending money from bank for your marriage which I am sure you will be able to pay off very soon.

Try considering these options. Discuss the matter with elders in detail.

Pulkit making it absolute sense of the situation for you eagle, it is not stupid at all. If I were you, i would follow. And making snese of the medical and physical aspects of cardiac arrest- many times occur from emotional stress, worry / tension. So you need not guess what happened here, hence you have to be sensitive,caring and be a little open minded and hopefully accept the one year that your gal’s father had given you and giving him assurance that you will be there not only for his daughter but also for him(and show him some care), will lighten his heart and will win not only him, but your gal,over and again. Wish you best. Dr.Sky