Sir or maam please help me. I'm chandu, a 17year guy from andhra. I brokeup with a girl a year and half back. I was having a tough time getting over her. I couldnt concentrate on my studies. I was in a depression, until i met this this girl who is younger to me by two years. Shes my sister's best friend. I never had any feelings for her. One day she proposed me. I was shocked. I took my time and explained her about my ex girlfriend. I said i'll think about it if its okay for you with my previous relationship. And she was like yeah its okay for me. I dont want about your past, i want you in my future. I was glad that she liked me. I took a month before accepting her proposal. This was all in april-may. So we started a relationship. We used to hang out a lot. I was never this happy in my life. I got back to my original emotional state. I started topping the class again like i always did. Everything was fine until the day before yesterday. Her mom came to know about our relationship. She didnt scold her. She just asked her to stop talking to me. Her mom knew me as her friend and she really liked me. Yesterday i went and confessed about it to my mom and burst out crying. My mom was like if you really like her you can have her in future. Just wait. Even my gf talked to her mom. She tried to explain. And her mom was like "you are not talking to him anymore. It wont work out with their family". What i understood is that her dad's got a caste feeling. Im a telugu brahmin. She is a kapu. Not that we are poor, not that we are super rich. We are an above middle class family. Her dad is a MLA. It will be a family war if he gets to know about it.her mom said she wont tell it to her dad. The problem isnt really about him being a Mla. My dad has political connections too. He knows andhra's health minister and other politicians. So thats not a problem. The real problem is that we both have our mobile phones with us. We have no spying going on. We can silently talk to eachother through our phones. But her mom doesnt want her to talk to me. I can wait till i get a job. But i really cant stop talking to her. Shes my life. Im commited to her. So is she. She cant stay without talking to me. What i suggested her is that we completely stop talking to eachother for a month or so and then continue our relationship secretly. But i have a fear that what if her mom gets to know that we are still talking and she complains to her husband about it. Then there will be verbal clashes between our families and we cant stay together in our life. They'll have their egos then. But i really cant stay without talking to her. Im in a really shitty situation. Please help me with my decision. Should i continue talking to her? Or should i wait till im settled? She said she'd wait.(but we cant really live without talking for the next 6 years or so. Please understand) please please help me. Your words would mean a lot to me. Thanks!

Welcome Chandu to eTI community. Great to see you here.

Now for your question,
I will not say lots of things but here all I can say that you are just 17 and your girl is 15, and you yourself said that you need to wait atleast 6 years , IMHO, thats really long period and life can changes a lot. God knows what will happen. I suggest that you both should respect your parents at the moment while make a good career and after that see where you stand and then decide to actually marry or not. Seriously, this is too early to decide anything.

Hi Chandu,



Whatever Aarish wrote above is true by every means. You guys are teenagers. There is still a long way to go before you even think of getting married with your girl. At this very age, we fall for almost anyone of the opposite gender who is beautiful by looks and is good to us by nature. These feelings are temporary and doesn't stay with you for long. This is where we distinguish crush from love. If you talk about Love, it has higher implications. You guys are too young to understand what it takes to be in a relationship.
Anyways, I am not here to creep a doubt in your mind about your feelings. Whether Love or Crush, you'll get to know soon. As of now, do exactly what Aarish has said.

Regarding you both guys communicating with each other, I'd say, let the matter rest for few weeks or 1-2 months. Right now, her mother is a bit uncomfortable with your relationship. These things are new and on her mind. Let the matter rest for a while till everything settles down and her mother returns to her normal mood and then you guys can resume the previous status of your relationship. Meanwhile, you guys can communicate over messages and texts, but keep it low.

Try to have patience and wait. Things might improve in time to come. Study hard, get a good job, fulfill your ambitions and dreams, make a foothold in life and these caste barrages won't be a concern for you any more.