Are my parents right or wrong for misbaving with my ex bf

As I have already mentioned in my last post that I broke up with my abusive ex & I told everything to my parents about him. But he keep on pressurizing me for a proper relationship , he wanted that I should forgive him & give an another chance to him..but due to his abusive nature & he also said many bad things about my character, I never wanted to do that I made my self very clear to him that from now on I don,t want to see my self in any pain,,I have seen a lot..now I can,t trust him. But he was not ready, I am from lower middle class family I gave his number to my mom, my mom called him & very patiently she tried her best to convince him they he should leave me now…I m not happy with him…but he keeps on forcing me by emotional blackmail.it affected me very badly I used to cry all of the time in front of my mom & dad they were also worried about me…then one day my father called him and requested him very politely that he should forget me…& let me leave peacefully they don,t want to be rude with him…but still he did not stop he said many bad things about my character, he said I am a prostitute. I sleep with random people.he started blackmailing me I told these things to my parents…this time my father got really angry, he said he will call his parents but I begged that please don,t do that…then suddenly my ex stopped saying anything to me related to my character from last 3-4 days , he started dedicating me love songs, he said he is very sorry but it was really making me suffocated, I stopped trusting him..many a time he repeated this emotional drama with me ….so today in my absence my mom & dad called him up they said many bad things to him.. My father abused him in bad language & said many bad things about his upbringing & parents that they did not gave any good manners to him.. that’s why he is such a bastard….now he is putting me in guilt by saying that why your father sad bad things about my family about my upbringing… agar maine kaha tha tumhe to unhe sirf mujh tak hi rahna chaiye tha …why they crossed their limit…..i am really confused…. All the time I am thinking my father did a sin by doing this thing …wo usse pyaar se bhi samjah sakte the, why my mother & father crossed their limit… but my father said ki “laato ke bhoot baato se nahi mante beta “ but why my parents said bad things about his family or his upbringing…. Kya wo galat hai …I am very confuse….he messaged me that he is changing he realized his mistakes but today your parents spoiled everything.he made my life miserable many a time he said he is changed but from last 1 year everyday i cry becuase of him , my parents were well aware about this fact...they tried to convince him very politely also but he didn,t change...but why i am thinking my parents crossed their limit...actually i wanted to break up in peaceful manner not in this way...i wanted him as a friend only..but now this chance is ruined because of the way my parents behaved with him...

i think no one is here to help me....all my life i worshiped my parents..they were everything for me...but suddenly the way this guy made me guilty about my parents act...i think i hate them....

Hi Priya..
Sorry you feel that way , I had seen your post but we can't just reply here, it takes time to understand issue and give advice, after its a complicated issue. Please have patience , soon you will get some detail reply from experienced and intellectual people like Pulkit and others.

Hello priya2012,

Whatever your father said is quiet true in this case. Frustrated with your ex-boyfriend, your father still took him politely initially, but its naturally for any random person to get angry and behave in exact way as your father did, if things go beyond limit.
Consider the fact you are his beloved daughter and no father on earth would appreciate listening something cheap and crap about his daughter. So, in my opinion whatever he did was right.
Considering you a mature individual, I don't think there is a need to explain you that had your ex-boyfriend been changing his nature and behaviour towards you, he would have done it long ago. His repeatively abusing you or for that matter blackmailing you emotionally provides a clear image of his thinking and state of mind. Had he been a good person and genuinely in love with you, he wouldn't have called you a prostitute. But his attitude towards you shows he is frustrated within.

So, in my personal opinion its better to maintain a distance from him for he is not worth you. His inclination towards you, as you have got to know so far would vanish as soon as a new girl enters in his life. Realize its just the feeling of loneliness he is suffering with which is actually responsible for him calling you every time and requesting you to get back in his life.

You needn't need to blame your parents, they have done everything they feel could be best for you.


NOTE : Please run one thread in your name. Continue in the same thread that you started earlier.

Hi Pulkit, I think if she is discussing something new then its better to start new thread but if its same issue then yes, please continue in one thread only.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by priya2012

i think no one is here to help me....all my life i worshiped my parents..they were everything for me...but suddenly the way this guy made me guilty about my parents act...i think i hate them....

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Hello priya2012,

We try our level best to provide you with the best possible answer we could think of. Definitely, as Yahoo said, it takes time to read such a long post and decide onto what could the best solution for you.
For that matter, I urge you to wait for 48 hours after your problem is visible on the thread.
You will get a reply to your problem within 48 hours after the etiAdmin has approved it and the post gets visiblity on the forum.

Thank You.

hey pulkit

i think whatever you are saying is quit true...every parent is protective about their child.by nature my father is a very clam person,if he behaved this way then definitely he was so frustrated..he saw me crying all the time..i lost around 6 kg weight because of this guy..he was really worried about my health.

but what i am thinking is that my father have every right to hate him but why my father said bad things about his father that
" its not your fault ..it your parents fault..they are the main culprit.they never stopped you..thats why you are like this..& he has 2 sisters & many a time he called me a prostitute so my mother abused him by saying that why don,t you put your sisters in that work before pointing any fingers on my daughter"

thats the only thing which is making me upset why they involved the whole family in this...what was the family's fault.they are the innocent people.

and that guy is calling me all of the time..he is saying for once he wants to abuse my parents in front of me...so that "hisaab barabar ho jaye"....why he is talking like this...i never abused his parents.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by priya2012

hey pulkit

i think whatever you are saying is quit true...every parent is protective about their child.by nature my father is a very clam person,if he behaved this way then definitely he was so frustrated..he saw me crying all the time..i lost around 6 kg weight because of this guy..he was really worried about my health.

but what i am thinking is that my father have every right to hate him but why my father said bad things about his father that
" its not your fault ..it your parents fault..they are the main culprit.they never stopped you..thats why you are like this..& he has 2 sisters & many a time he called me a prostitute so my mother abused him by saying that why don,t you put your sisters in that work before pointing any fingers on my daughter"

thats the only thing which is making me upset why they involved the whole family in this...what was the family's fault.they are the innocent people.

and that guy is calling me all of the time..he is saying for once he wants to abuse my parents in front of me...so that "hisaab barabar ho jaye"....why he is talking like this...i never abused his parents.

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Hello priya2012,

The things are clear. Here in your case there was a need for tit-for-tot. You complaining why your parents said things against his family and they have no right to do so, but, how do you support the fact that your ex-boyfriend also has no right to get abusive to you.
You admit your father is calm by nature and whatever he did was justified because he was protective with his child. I don't understand why are you so much supportive to your ex-boyfriend when he is the one who ruined your life to some extend. Wouldn't you blame him if for some reason something rotten happens to your father's health because of the tension he is taking on your part??

I believe your father did best to convince him to leave you and get back to his life in calmest possible way but obviously as I said there is a limit to everything and so he is right with his approach.