Hi Guys!!!
I was in a serious relationship with A girl from last one year and even ready to get married to her, few days back her ex had called me and told that she had a physical relationship with him which she is hiding from me. when i confronted her she accepted that she had told lies to me and that her ex was right that she had physical relation with him which she was hiding from me , i am literally in shock !!!!
should i continue with her?????
plz help me guys!!!!!!
Hello JAI LOHANA,
Your girlfriend and you are in a good relationship with each other for past one year so much so that you are even thinking of getting married with her. Just because she had a past where in she trusted a guy and got physical with him doesnt mean she is not loyal to you or she has done a crime. Try to understand the thing, your girlfriend is now in a committed relationship with you and has in reality got nothing to do with her ex. She trusted a person( who is not with her now ) in past and had a physical relationship with him does not mean that she has done anything wrong. Perhaps her ex could have forced her to get into a physical relationship with him.
Understand the fact that it happens. You too could have been at her place. How would you feel if your girlfriend leaves you because you had a past physical relationship with another girl who doesnt even care about you now and is keen to end your relationship with your present girlfriend ???
Sir, get to understand the point that, it was her past. She has trusted a person again in life and this time its YOU. If now you will leave her just because she did a mistake in past or perhaps she was forced to do it by trusting a person, I believe you would be doing a really mean thing. I am sorry I am saying like that but dont you think she needs to be given another chance ? Afterall, she is a human being and mistakes are done by humans.
Trust me, Sir, if you marry her and give her a another chance to live her life with you, you will be the BEST person in her life. She needs your support right now and I feel you should forget her past and live your life with her.
Also, in the end I would like to add, ask her ex-boyfriend to keep a safe distance from both of you and try not to get involved with your lives.
All The Best !!!
Take Care..!!!
Hi Pulkit !!!!
But Buddy when i asked her before as to whether she had a physical relation with her ex, she said no. I trusted her and i fail to understand why she was lying to me. Once i said to her that if you have a past i have no issues with it then also she lied buddy. Now whats hurting me is her lies, not her past with her ex
Hello JAI,
Well instead of asking this to me, you should post the same question to your girlfriend and ask her for an honest reply. There must be something in her mind as to why she lied to you. And this reason could possibly be YOU.
See what happens is, even if sometimes our partners/girlfriends/boyfriends tend to comfort us by asking about our past relationships and assuring us that they have no issues with it, we lie to them just because we sincerely dont want to loose them. She loves you and this could be a possible reason why she hided her past from you. It happens sir. She might have thought that when her relationship with you will grow more strong, she will tell you. This could be a reason.
Second possibility could be that she does not want her past to come up in her new relationship now. Sometimes, especially with girls when they have a rotten past, it happens that they dont want to discuss or debate or rather even bring up the topic of their past when they have actually moved on from it through a difficulty.
Well, see sir, the exact reason is known to your girlfriend and she can only tell you why she hided it from you. I am just trying to lay some possibilities here which mostly are the reason why people tend to hide these things from their partners. So, its better if you ask her directly and clarify the things. There should be a clear communication between the two parties involved in a relationship.
All I can add is, you should forgive her for what happened with her in her past because I feel it has got nothing to do with your relationship with her now. She is loyal to you and is now committed to you. Neither she has any clandestine relationship with her ex or any other person on earth, than you. So, I guess, give her a chance and move on....live your life happily...and ask her to make a promise to you that she wont be hiding anything from you in the future. And if she breaks her promise and hurts you, I would be the first one to suggest you to leave her. :)
As of now talk to her and ask her the reason.
All The Best...!!!
Take Care.
Hi Pulkit!!!
No Buddy nothing is good as if now.... i came to know many things about her past. She confessed many things about her past about which she had lied to me. I m in a state of shock after what she confessed to me. but i m trying to do everything and anything which will make this relationship work and believe me buddy i m not well these days.
I m not able to accept that she is the same girl whom i loved like anything and she lied to me on almost every thing about her past. Dear i also came to know that she once had gone for a lunch with her ex without telling me. when i confronted her she said that he once met her in her college and asked her out for a lunch.. i had gone with him because i wanted to taught him a lesson and that i m not the same girl who he liked some time back....
what should i do???? and i love her so much that i cant leave her but neither i cant stand her lies...and i also fear that she might taught i am emotionally weak and will forgive her in future for everything that she will do in future ...
Buddy these days i m not able to concentrate on my work....
HELP ME!!!!!!!!
Ohk so Jai... things are really concerning now. I guess its high time you should talk to her over this completely. Ask her as to how many lies has she told you and what exactly is going on between her n her ex.
Also , let her know what you are going through i.e your mental state...your mental agony and ask her what you should do now???
Ask her if the situation would have been just opposite i.e. had you been lying her about your ex-girlfriend and she would get to know the truth from other sources, what she would have done ??? Tell her that you really love her and y doing all this she has really created a doubt in your mind about her past relationship and about her character.
Also you can do one thing.... you can contact her ex-boyfriend and arrange a meeting with him, you and your girlfriend and ask both of them to discuss the matter openly. I am telling you, all things will be clear in one go. You will get to know as to what their past were....how deep the relationship was and how much are they still attach.
Look Jay, her past relationship is still not over if she is meeting with her boyfriend again and again, that to, without informing you, which I guess is not an acceptable thing at all. Until and unless their past relationship is not over, you should not think of starting a relationship with her. So first let both of them meet, clear up the things in front of you and then you can openly ask your girlfriend as to whom she want now ??????
Please, please please..give her sometime to thing over it and then decide as to whom she has to choose. Tell her that her decision should be final and if you find her meeting with her ex again in future without informing you, you will leave her.Make this point very clear.
I guess there is no point in dragging a relationship when you can't trust your partner. Its better to end the relationship and set the other person free with the person of her choice, than to get betrayed later by her.
I hope you understand ???
All The Best...!!
Take Care...!!!
Buddy
I confronted her with all these things... she told how she had forgotten to tell me about her meeting with her EX. I have talked with her EX he says everything is over between them now and he will never try to contact or even talk to her and the same is said by my girlfriend that she will never try to contact him again in her life.....
she is saying that she loves me too much and she never wants to leave me and that was the reason she never told me these things as i would b hurt after knowing these things.... I can see tears in her eyes and it looks like she is regretting what she has done. But i m not blindly trusting her now.....It will take some time to judge her and her behavior
I have decided that i will observe her behavior with me for the next 2-3 months and once i m sure that she has changed for the better i will move forward in this relation.....