In love with an economically backword person - my driver

hi,
i am a 23 year old architect from a high class family..i am the only child of my parents..i am in love with a guy with low economic background.he is not educated and is a driver..he is our driver and he is well accepted in my family as a friend too..we were also gud frnds and our relationship started wen i was faced with a crucial problem in my life where i couldnt involve my parents. we thought we would just go for a temporary relationship as it is not possible for my parents to accept it...but in the course of time we couldnt stop our relationship. it has been 1 year now and we are very deeply in love...despite his low economic background, he is a very gud person, very cultured and well behaved..nobody has a bad opinion abt his character..he was always and is still very guilty abt loving me as he says he is cheating my parents..nw my parents came to kno abt it and they wont accept it..they said they couldnt even imagine it....but me and my guy are in a stage where we cannot get separated...i gave it a lot of thought and i am not able to forget him or marry off to another guy...now that things hav reached to this level, i have decided that if i get married, it wil be only to him..but i dont like the idea of eloping becoz it wil giv a huge shock to my parents..they even said they would commit suicide if i continue my relationship...nw i hav told them i hav stopped the relationship just to hav sme peace at home...nw i am in between my loving parents and my loving boyfriend...i cannot think up of a solution..can anybody giv me suggestions pls.
(pls donot take this as a foolish relationship by a foolish girl...i am an educated person and i have my own reasons for being so sure about him)

Hi arch,


Well, too creepy it is. Frankly speaking, for me, I believe one can fall in love with anybody at any point in time provided that the feelings are honest and the one is serious about it.

Whatever you do, howsoever hard you try, this relationship will never be accepted socially by your parents. I understand you are educated, must have given a lot of thought to it and you have your own reasons to love him. BUT, whatsoever, this will never be accepted by your family and society. For many you will find, who will say that society doesn't matter, but I personally feel, though it doesn't matter, but still it has some influence on one's life because you have to live in this society.

Frank enough and on a very serious note, with all due respect to your feelings, I seriously recommend you to stop thinking about all this because not for me or anyone else, but for your parents it will be very hurting.

Since I don't encourage the idea of eloping away and getting married, I will never recommend this to you.

Also, talking about your lover, even if he has been in a relationship with you, somewhere in his mind, he must have had thought about it alot. Though he loves you but I am pretty sure, but he must have thought about the fact that you both might never be together.

I believe that you are perhaps thinking too emotionally. Try to be practical here. Try to figure out the consequences of you getting married to him? Talking practically, firstly your parents will never accept it nor will your friends, perhaps. At some point in time, you might become a laughing stock for people surrounding you. I agree, people or society doesn't matter but dear, wherever you go, you have to live with them only.

So, think about it again. Think on a more mature side of it. Its not love that can keep you alive for years to come. Everything matters when you think of starting to live. So think about it.