Choosing between love of your life and your self respect?

I have no one to talk to about this.
Few months after I entered clg,I met a boy he was sweet,caring and seemed to be a nice person. We became friends,he fell in love with me. Didn't confess but I came to know somehow. I was not sure about my feelings and so although I liked him I didn't say yes. Our friendship continued. 18 months later...the scene was different...we were best friends,shared each and every thought and feelings. I never felt so much of attachment with anyone before. He was my priority. He was everything. Later he proposed again, I accepted. Few months later he became more possessive. Started doubting me for nothing. And our fights grew more and more intense. Once I came to know that he lied to me about one fact. He proposed to some other girl after the first time I refused his proposal. I was dam hurt, coz it felt like he just needed a girlfriend coz all his friends had one in clg. But he was sorry,and it was way back in past. I forgive him for not being honest. Later his doubts and jealously increased. He began mentally distressing me. We fought a lot every 15 days or so. And every time it was either about me not showing off our relationship in clg or not roaming with him very frequently. Or talking to my friends and spending time with them. I couldn't do anything by myself. I was loosing my individuality. He was short tempered and he always used harsh words. I keep on gettin hurt and keep on forgiving him. We had a break for two months when It became unbearable to me. But he returned with a huge sort of promises of not hurting me and giving me my freedom etc along with a guilt and an apology. As usual my heart melted, I decided to give him another chance. we got back together. Soon after it, fights started but they were less severe. Everything was going fine till now. I was trying to trust him again,and he was trying to control his temper. I was happy. Suddenly his demands appeared. Of roaming and showing off publicly, I give in. But then he expressed that he wants to be intimate. He knew I am not that sort of girl who would involve in pre marital sex. Still I told him again and simply refused. His anger grew. He blamed me for nothing and started talking crap about ny character that I am refusing him not coz of my morals but as coz I live at home. but I would agree to it when I would be living in a hostel somewhere for higher studies later in life. That I am a girl and all girls are same. And I would ditch him someday. I was disheartened to know his cheap assumptions about me and about girls. Next day he didn't feel apologetic. I didn't talk to him either. After a day,he behaved as if everything is normal. He called but I refused to talk. Suddenly without realising that I am hurt,he started blaming and doubting me again. I became more sad. I told him I can't do this anymore. He flamed out in anger that yes he knew I would leave him one day,I must have got someone else. He abused me! For no reason at all. Said m like all fucking girls. I was crying my heart out..only after I switched off my cell I felt relief. Next day he was again sorry. I am not going to forgive him this time. I have had enough. I am not sure to what extent you gotta compromise and bend in a relationship. Not sure if what I did is the right thing? M completely broken. I am losing myself. Only way to end my misery and pain is to get away from him but the agony is that I love him. Choosing between the love of your life and your own self respect? Choosing between giving up or trying again? Hardest decision to make.

Hii Girl,Yes, you have sacrificed ua self a lot while compromising with him and in this while you completely lost ua self respect but this is not the real time to really cry or get hurt its time for u to get up, time to give time to urself rather than anyone else and also try n convert that agony into burning fire to achieve something very big in life that every other person including that guy will salute u, this is what I did personally when I was badly ditched by a girl whom I loved dearly and madly.Get over that guy, I know it is difficult to do, but it is certainly not possible, also keep in mind that you hav now got a very gud exposure to human nature and wants from a relationship, which will help u to choose a better partner in life. Focus on yourself and your career and do wonders for uaself rather than losing uaself n self-respect for a guy who does not even respect you, he is a selfish and a mean guyvwho wants to fulfill just his desires and wants from u n once he fulfills them u will be nobody for him......also keep one thing in mind that this was not the love of ua life but it was the biggest lesson for u which will help you to choose a very gud life for future but only if u look at it as an opportunity and not a thing to cry or be sorry for.....if u take this as an opportunity to make ua life better, you will surely thank this guy for entering in ua wrld n making it evn bettr, but if u take this as an incident to curse upon or feel sorry on, you may not only get more n more of such events in future to cry upon but u will also lose an opportunity to love uaself n do something big.Choice is yours my friend.

okay dear, I read it , I can understand ur pain,
u didnt mention ur age, but if u r in colg thn u must be 22-23, see beta as I m a married women, I will tell u my experience abt relationships..as a female we see a relationship from a totally different view..we r totaly different from men.. nd whatever u hav mentioned above is not something new..it happens in all the relationships, before marriage and even after that. we. are more emotional thn men. and god has given us the power to cope up,and if u will give up thn you'll hav to try again. you will hav to give in, in other relationship with someone else after sometime coz u cant be alone. and bbelieve me or my experience, u will again come to this stage in other relationship also. nd tht tym u will be more miserable.. no one is perfect, and u cant love someone more than ur first one(if he is your first one), so in latter stage of life u will left with nothing ..not even love.. first is first, all the others are just the replacements, nd these problems will never go they will come with a tag behind every new good caring and loving person, decision is your..good luck.

Hello urmilaji I respect you and your advice and I underatand that girls are different and more emotional than guys and also have an ability to cope up with problems, but urmila ji do you really tgink that a girl does not deserve to hold her self respect and be loved, cared and respected as we guys are beimg loved cared and reapected by you all, I know and also am well aware of our male dominated society, but there is no point I find why always a girl has to face all this and also step down for self respect for a guy who doesn't even care or respect the girl whom he declres he loves to, does it even make a sense that a girl has to compromise with a guy even if pre martial intimacy is concerned, I dont agree on this, I do agree that she has to again face all this in a new relationship too, but since she will step into a new relationship and meet a new guy, there is a bright possibility, that she might get a partner who wud love her and respect her the way she is and also would make her feel special on every moment and also reapect equay on her decisions and likes dislikes amd equally trusts her to give her all the support to enjoy both her relationship as well as her personal freedom to socialize in her own world not only that but on the above it she might be his world and might give her all the love and respect she deserves to get.
But for now I dont see any positive point in atleast this relationship where the guy only wants to satisfy his deaire from her and make her his slave rather than hos counter half for the future, and I also feel this guy might eveneave her once all her desirea are satisfied by her, as for a reason he had never respected her decision against his own will by seeing all this I can only conclude that the guy is simply very cheap and mean who only respects self and his own decisions and does not care for what other think or do for him and you can clearly see all this by the things and sentences mentioned by our friend here.
I strongly feel she should get over her as she is not the one made for her, also she deserves better respect and love than this abuses and hell like relationship.
This is seriously what I feel, what do you have to say mam, sorry if I have hurted you any way, there was no intention for opposition or to hurt on any thing u said you have shown me a new way to look things as, thanks mam for your support and valuable direction and advice. :)