Parents fixed marriage in childhood but now changed their mind

Dear Friends,

I am Riddhi 26yrs and m in love with my childhood friend who is 32yrs. We are family friends from our forefather's generation. In our childhood days our parents decided to marry me to him but as the days passed it gone on air...and their thoughts changed..Yes we still love each other but our parents don't want us to marry, they are giving us the reason of same gothram. Yes we are brahmin and of the same gothram too. He is there rejecting all proposals which came his way. at last his parents are OK, problem is with my parents. My parents are saying dat they will make me marry to anyone else but not him, but even i don't want to marry anyone else except him. please let me know what are d ways so i can convince my parents and get succeed in my love....


Thanks for your support

Try to convey your parents about the feelings you hav for the guy. Tell them about the consequences in case you will b married to someone else.. U knw ur heart is with the guy u love, and same is with the guy u r in love.. You two will not b happy with ny other partner.. So that will ultimately spoil not only 4 lives but will create family disturbances too. And the only person responsible for this will b ur parents... Tell them not to b a reason for aomething disastrous that they can not mend in any way afterwards..
You r their daughter. Ur happiness shud b their main concern.. And let them know you can never b happy with any other guy othet than him.
I dont knw much about gotra system. The only thing i knw is that.. No human-made systems and cultures (caste, gotra,religion etc) can b above love.

Tell them u can also run away, have a court marriage and all like rest of the girls... But you choosed to respect ur parent's take on the matter.. you love them so much that you dont want to do anything without thier wish.. If u r doing all this for them, why cant they give your decision a second thought.

And one more thing.. Have some patience... And keep avoiding any other boy's proposal.. At last ur parents will say yes,As girls are not meant to b at their parents place for a long time as per our culture.. Mayb that will work as i had an experience with the similar case of my cousin sis.. Goodluck, keep loving.. Keep fighting the odds.. As it will make ur love stronger.. And stronger

Hi Riddhi,


Yes, there is a concept of gotra. For a marriage to happen in a Hindu religion, the guy and the girl should be of same caste but different gotra. Since, you guys belong to a brahmin family, this concept is very tightly followed.

You are educated and mature to understand that all these concepts in Indian tradition are meaningless. Even if you are married to same caste and different gotra guy, your parents can never guarantee a happy life to you.

Explain to your parents your love for your boyfriend. Tell them, since your marriage was somewhat fixed when you were kids, all your life you have considered him as your husband. You have surrendered yourself to him and he is everything to you. Practically, you guys are married and you simply cannot be separated. Tell them, how they would have felt if you would have backed out from their decision of marrying you to him? You could have done that quiet easily, but, you didn't do because you all your life you have lived considering yourself as his wife. So, they should not change their decision now after some 20-25 years, when all your life you have dedicated to him. This will become highly difficult for you to cope up with.

Putting in simple terms, reject every proposal that comes your way. When asked, tell them, you are already married to your "boyfriend" by heart and soul, if not by law.

Dear Friends,

Thank u for your opinion
Please do pray

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Riddhi

Dear Friends,

Thank u for your opinion
Please do pray

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Hi Riddhi,


You needn't need to say this. You are in our prayers and we hope things get better at your end.
Thank You for writing to us. You can visit the forum whenever you feel like sharing anything, that could be a problem, incident or anything related to you and your life, good or bad. Feel free to share with us your happiness and sorrows.

Thank u so much dear friends for spending ur valuable time and providing a solution to me.
ur words has really encouraged me to go further, thank u again, take care