My Mother hates my father a lot - what I can do (I am 17 yrs )

iam really worried when anything happens in my house. My mom says she hates my father and she don't want to live with him and even on small things both starts fighting and its goes on and on. My father gets angry too much and both find faults in each other from past .. this is really embarrassing for us , I am 17 the eldest one and have 2 more younger sisters. all the time during fight they are abusing each other of cheating her.. its so bad now that even if someone comes to our home and there is woman with them.. my mom just blames my father that you were trying to flirt with her. she taunts him with useless things and then again fight starts and again verbal abusing to each other. its very hard for me to keep them together bcz we don't want our parents to separate. what I can do now ?

Hi KMSS,



Frankly speaking, you are very young to understand and make your parents understand of the problem. It's generally expected from an elderly person as your own parents to show some maturity towards the kids and not fight in front of them.

I can understand, how pathetic you must be feeling. This embarrassment is justified.

But, I tell you something, in a marriage or relationship problems become big and grave when the two individuals involved, start blaming each other for almost all things. This blame game is very hard to end and usually spoils the whole marriage. We all are human beings, and mistakes are a part of our nature. We all do wrong things in our past. But, this is no good if you spoil your present and future by clinging to your past mistakes and guilt feelings.

Sorry to say, but you cannot put an end to the fight since you're very small. Infact, your involvement in their fights will worsen up the matter and this complete blame of spoiling you guys will come down to your mother.


Word of advice : Talk to your grandpa or grand-maa. Explain them the current situation of the house and how badly its impacting your lives. Tell them that if they don't stop your parents to fight and allow them to sort out the matter, the day is not far when you will separate yourself from your own family.

Take into confidence your grandpaa and grandmaa, take their help and try to sort out the matter.

Do not talk to your parents or ask them to end the fight. In an effort to do that, you will start a fight instead. No body will listen to you and blame each other for your wrong upbringing.





Please let me know if I was able to make you understand the complete situation. If you need, I can go ahead and explain to you in more simple words.

Good to see that you are concerned about your parents. I am sure, they must be really proud to have you as their ward. Also, keep yourself away from these fights and concentrate on studies. Your parents will never separate. They will just fight and later realize each other's value. Things will sort out in some time to come. Don't spoil your career.

Hello there,
Each individual's behavior and each family's setting is completely different from one another. For a starter, explain to both your parents, that their fighting(in front of you kids), is affecting you all a lot, in terms of studies, your minds and ways, and getting you depressed, and request them to stop fighting in front of you; if they are close to their children and have some ability to control, then they will to some extent decrease their fights.
And some children can act as pacifier's or balms, meaning, when two parents dislike each other for a certain reason, they tend to be disillusioned or easily or for no apparent reason find faults with each other for almost anything. So here, you can tell them nicely(when they are calm and apart from each other and not during turbulent fights), that it was a wrong perception / perspective(when it is really wrong / their misjudgement), and let them know the good side of each other.
The truth behind what may have really happened or what one thinks could have happened could be fueling the fights, and may take some time to resolve. And a marriage counsellor can help them sort out their issues to some extent. Yes, do get your family members(those who are close to your parents only) involved, as pulkit pointed out.
And prayers and spirituality(helping couples & singles seeking love and marriage), for the sake of your parents and in the name of your parents, can help a great deal, by changing the karma or one's destiny.

Wishing you the best,
Dr.Sky
(Allopathic doctor,relationship advisor,spiritualist)


http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ds-dr-sky.html