Hi,
I went through whatever you wrote above and now I would like you to answer my question : What is the reason that you are so much into this relationship so much so that even after being insulted constantly, you are not ready to leave it ??
Friend, here you need to be practical. You are actually allowing your emotions to dominate over your thinking.
After all that happened with you so far, what do you expect, will Mr. Arun and his family members ever going to be nice with you?? Even if you get married to Arun by hook or crook, will his brother and sisters behave in a way you expecting them to ?? Will you ever get that love and affection from his family members that you ever dreamt of?? Is there any fair chance that things will improve in near future ??
The answer to these questions from my side would be a clear NO. Get practical dear, his family members are making all sort of excuses from refraining you to marry him. First it was on your looks and second was his father's death. By now, you should have understood that his family is not interested in making this relationship happen.
So, on very pure note, I would like you to stop working on it, leave things and move on. Dear, your life is not bound to anyone. Leave the person/family immediately who treats you as an option. Even if you get married to him, all your life you might face their sacarsm. So, what is the point in doing something which will give you no happiness and only sorrow. Get to know, there are deep rooted problems in this relationship. I don't think so, this is a way to judge a person like this.
If before the marriage you are facing such grave insults, then you can very well understand how grave this problem will become after marriage. So, its better to end everything right now and move on. I am saying this because I don't see a point in continuing this relationship any further as it will create more problems for both of you and the families involved. Also, it will end someday. So its better to call it off right now and move out of it with a smile, rather than dragging it for long and eventually ending it due to family pressures. I can't advise you to elope and get married to each other because I dont support that view. Also, I can't advise you to continue it and keep trying for it, because seeing the present situation, I feel it won't work out in future.
So dear friend, end everything now and live your life tension free. Try to move on. Its not the end of life and Mr. Arun is not just the one. Perhaps, life has something better to offer you. Initially it will be difficult but its 100% better than dragging this relationship without any reason.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Riy9w8pWfyc