How to break the ice and start talking to girl I like?

Hi All,

I am a 23 yr old software professional. I attend some coaching classes for higher exam preparation. Among the class mates is a girl i like from the very first day. But still unable to talk to her / break the ice....Pls advice how to go about it? Not getting chances to strike a conversation . Feel the fear that she might not like my approaching her and the fear of loosing her even b4 getting all the more demotivates me....she comes alone sometimes and sometimes with one of her friend to the classes. I have a gud reputation in class as such and so dont want to loose dignity by trying somethin foolish as well....Nevr done this kinda stuff much b4 and hence not feeling confident too... Hope to get some mature and practical suggestions....

Interesting :)

You know it, you have to do tell her somehow that you are interested in her. Though can be many ways. But in your case, try to find some topic/ reason for which only she can help you. May just borrowing notes. You dont' have to do anything special, you just need start interaction with her and rest will be automatic as you feel something for her and if its really there, she will judge it. Be normal, have normal talk, try to be humrous but intelligently and never pull leg of anyone in trying to humorous, specially her.

To begin with , thanks a lot for your reply. Borrowing a notes book seems not bad an idea but i guess will appear too obvious. moreover she is not one of the brightest in the class and hence the logic of asking for her notebuk only seems debatable....i understand tat a normal conversation is the best but unfortunately not getting enough chances b4/ after class...she goes away after class leaving me frustrated... :( :( wud a direct approach to her and saying everything to her about my feelings for her sound a gud idea?

Approaching her directly may result in Aaar yaa paar .. means clear YES or NO. If you can take that risk then go ahead though such things should be tried on last day of classes or end of session.

Well, I had that in mind that is why I said that try to find some topic or reason in which only she can help (if she can't help in studies).

There is one more thing, most of the time girls are attracted to brightest student in the class but they mostly never shows because of some sort of feeling of inferiority. There can be many way to grab her attention yet be natural but for that you have to decide yourself as you know best about situation in your coaching.

However, I think you should wait for some comments from girls here too. May be they can enlighten you .

Man, i cant agree with you more.....as per your suggestions...

1) yes, approaching directly is definitely an extremist kinda step which might lead to aar ya paar... :) ....but if put properly and sincerely b4 her in a moderate and respectful manner(suggesting her that i just wanted her to know my feelings ) ....can it work ??

2) girls getting attracted 2 brightest in class-----> you have made me happy coz i am openly recognized in class as nearly an excellent student...but i am not sure if that might help me?? and ya ur rite sinc she is not the brightest, i have noticed that she kinda feels inferior and so she even doesnt sit next to me probably due to fear of getting exposed of not performing well in class...but she sat one or two times with one chair space between us.... ( i cant be more clear :) )

With each pasing day i am making my life more difficult.... one thing i want to clarify that it is not that i love her....i wud say i like her and might like to take her out sometime....coz i believe i need sometime with her to really decide on love and all...



ANY GIRLS OUT THR??? PLZ HELP SOON :(

Direct approach is not bad but risky too, since you are not in hurry, take time to let her know that you are inclined towards her. Sometimes giving her a mystic look for a second or so will be good enough.

If you will goto girl and say you like her but don't love, don't expect anything after that. So keep that idea upto you only even if you both becomes friend. Another way is just convey your feeling to friends and rest will automatic, they will spread and she will get to knw too :)

ya man, definitely i wudnt let her know liking/loving scenario ....tat only the future shall tell....wat shud i do about her inferiority complex dude? i am sure its a stumbling block in our prospects of talking coz i know she feels herself down academically infront of me...might be she thinks i am an intellectual kinda person so stay away from me? coz even she wont like to let her ego down in a competitive class ? is that a big problem? if so how shud i take care of this? but for your info i have a gud joke cracking repo in class as well to my advantage...she infact smiles on them sometimes when i purposely say to make her listen sitting just back to her....


and ya i also keep indicating her tat i look at her a lot....she also PROBABLY ( i think so) knows that i look at her purposely...she also sometimes glances back in a hideous manner....

hope this clarifies the siuation further...:)

There seems to be a perfect Coup being cooked, and you have the right ingridients- Your reputation, Intellugence, Look etc.
Girls die for all this...

Asking notes is too obivious, and would result in failed aproach.
Try something subtle- Like talking to a GROUP of Girls/boys Including her.
Take them to a treat, mall. Then, increase conversation with HER. Ask her Phone no, and send nice SMS every day. The way she responds to your SMS (eg. Romantic) will help you judge the show.

Feel free to ask for more.

His problem is that he not her friend so can't take out, as said , ice is yet to be broken and rest will be history :)

Anyways, waiting for him, lets see how was his today after this discussion :) . Hope he will update about his day in coaching and her here.

hi ricky and Bhvm,

today was a downer guys....:(.....she didnt come to the class....and when i discovered this , i was finding it so hard to stay motivated to attend the class....hope to see her soon again....

@Bhvm----> taking out is out of question...as ricky rightly pointed out....ice break and all... :)

if u guys can help me start conv with her, i am sure it wud go a long way then....:)


STILL WAITING FOR A GIRL'S ADVICE... :( :(

I guess, there is nothing much for a girl to say here :P

Anyways, I guess rest discussion should be after one more day with her in coaching, I hope you will have new things to tell us bcz of this thread .

hmmm... Love and relationship need time as said by someone.

And its true fact.. have patience don' do anything in hurry... Cause girls always took much time to analyze boys...

I m here going to advice the best thing here...Hope it works for you too..

As we all know girls are emotional.. just behave good in class and try to get her attention by giving replies to the teacher of ur questions.. while giving the answer just have a slight look on her
( but don't try to play with her emotions) .

2-3 days give approx70% attention to her then for some day start ignore her.. Don't try to pull legs but simply ignore her.. but the time of ignoring show you true feelings towards her.

if she come to you that time just break the ice and say whatever in you mind. :) ( but don't try to play with her emotions).

Above can be filmy but it works many times.

secondly simply go to her.. say hi and give simple introduction.. don't say you wana frndship with her. just say she can seek help from you regarding studies and class note. as you said she not came yesterday.. so can provide you note to her for copy.. that way you can start conversation with her...

hmm You try second one first.. :) good luck!

Hi all,

Thanks for your advice nupur. Ya she was back in class today and i was very very very happy.....

Just want to let you all know that i am the biggest loser in life in such matters.....:( :(

i am a coward who cant muster enough courage to talk to her...i guess nothing can be done for me....:(....

time is running out....

though its a bit true that i am not getting lucky coincidences that she sits just next to me in class, but i guess tat cant be cited a valid reason for my failure since then if i wait for this to happen then it may take ages to happen or may not happen at all......

only god can help me now i guess....i think even god too cant help me...coz its all upon me only....no amount of talking will help me i know tat....but really dont know wat to do..... one more query:


1) i am also thinking that she mite be already seeing some one.... i have seen her talkin on cell phone after class..that has all the more demotivated me....


SAVE ME GOD !!!


:( :(

Listen.. you can not blame destiny for everything...

God always gives opportunity but we have to grab that...

Today God gives you the biggest opportunity but ....

Anyways.. as per you said that she is already engaged with someone else.. then confer it. If is true.. then no chance to share your feeling toward her...

But you must try once.. may be you are the lucky one.. As I said don't loose hope.. believe me Just start normal conversion.. atleast say sorry or thank you to her... conversation stat automatically..

thanks again nupur for ur valuable suggestions.... queries..


1) i dunno currently tat whether she is seeing some one...its my speculation only...50 -50 chance of its being true....dont u think tat even if she is seeing some1 else, i have the right to express out my feelings becoz they r not wrong...i want 2 express only wat i have in mind and expect nothing in return from her?? also finding out her status is easier said than done...its not possible right now...

2) i was also thinking of another idea.... wat if i lay my siuation towards her in a general fashion not telling her that she is the girl i am talkin about and seek her opinion, and in the end if she sounds encouraging i tell her that she is the girl and blurt eveything out?? will tat work..?? seems a bit filmy but i guess its quite safe..tat way i wud be able to talk to her also...but in this case i wud definitely have to tell her that she is the one coz o/w she will think tat i like ome else..??


advice soon plzzz...:)

Hahaha haha

As per me.. Don't try this filmy funda... its very old and if you say some thing like this she will recognize it very soon... ( girls are not dumb) :)

Jjust be sure is she engaged with someone else or not first.. then try to talk with her..

If you are something true for her then you must talk to her in any ways.. if you still thinking to talk or not.. then i can say time will leave in the same place and some one else will get chance..

So the chance is in your hand . its all upon you wanted to grab the opportunity or not??

Still waiting to break the ice.. don't think so much otherwise ice start melt and you have to drink salted water.. :) ( bad joke but with real sense):)

Go tell her whats in your mind atleast start normal conversation if you don't seek any positive reply..

I think you already gave much attention to her by looking at her?? right.. May be she also noticed that.. ?? so what you waiting for.. I saying atleast, atleast start normal conversation with her..

Other up to you Dude! :)

nupur,

wass the flaw in the second idea? plzzz clarify better...the purpose of the idea is infact to let her know in the end of conversation that she is the one.... actually i will be on leave from coaching classes from mon onwards for one week...so wanna do something 2mrw in last class...also after i resume classes after my leave, i dunno how many classes r left..may be so less that if i go by traditional method of wooing then i may even get enough time and opportunity??

i am thinking of starting it by stopping her and saying to her that i want an opinion on apersonal matter and only a girl can help...then i lay down my entire problem to her in a third party fashion askin her whether i shud tell her ( imaginary girl ) or not...and continue the conversation tat way... in the end i tell her how hard it had been for me to do all this and i ahd to tell her in some way...and blah blah...

plz tell the drawbacks of this approach? anyway i need to tell her anyway some day about my feelings....


one flaw i see in this is that she at the very begining of my story says that she cant help in such matters and then i my plan wud crash tat very moment....but i am hoping tat she wud listen atleast to me..considering reputation n all of mine....


plz tell drawbacks soon...kinda reply till afternoon 2mrw asap...

thanx for ur advices...:)

also clarify wat u mean by the following statement of urs in previous reply of urs..

Go tell her whats in your mind ......


and ya i am 90% sure that she knows that i watch her....but of no use to me as of now...

Second idea of you may not work because if you not able to speak about yourself how will talk abt some other girl...

Its show you are not confident about anything... Speaking with a girl is not at all tough.. now days girls and boys both are very frank by nature don't thing if say "hello" to her she will give a slap. there is nothing like that..

As you say" hello " to other class fellow just say in the same manner. and start conversation day by day about yourself.. about you interest in various things... and try to give good impact on her.. share your numbers or if you go out call her to ask about studies .. she automatically ask " why you always talking about studies talk something else" then start conversation or do decent flirting chat with her..

Simple ... !

wanna tell one thing don't mind but " jitni feelings tumne hamare saath share ki .. itni baat usse ki hoti tho ab tak ladki patt chuki hoti bidu" :)

So ..Be confident about yourself. If you are not confident about yourself then how will get confident in life other things.

Relax don't get nerves.. Simply start normal friendship as class mate.. then she will automatically get in attach with you...

ha ha ha ha ha :) :)

thanks nupur again!!

ya u r right that i am down on confidence in this matter...but its not that i have a phobia talking 2 girls...infact ia m very outspoken person and talk to girls in my office as well on regular basis...u bring any girl in front of me and if i am unable to talk to her i will give you 1000 bucks straight away... :) ...not like the rajesh kuthrapally of sitcom The big bang theory... :)

bit i n this particular matter its happening may be bcoz i like her,...and when u like someone it becomes an altogehter different story...u want it to be so perfect that nothing goes wrong..u want to cast ur best impression and moreover dont want to looe her at any cost..and tats precisely the reason of my pathetic performance so far...:)

but ya today morning as i woke up with a fresh mind , i realized that filmy fundas aint gud for such things...i gotta be normal and start talkin 2 her....if she has anything in her mind for me she will also show some interest...lets see....i hope to show some courage soon....:)

btw she always looks so gud...i amloosing sleep these days... :)

Hi all, I'm 17 and have the same situation. I get a top 3 rank generally, the girl I like is also intelligent, gets top 5 rank, but i dunno what 2 do.

Awww.

What happens to you guys... They are just girls there is no need to afraid from any of them.. Just take a deep breath and relax and say what comes in you mind..

Girls are emotional as you know.. they having soft core inside and wanted care and security of their future from his life partner. ... thats it...

If you are true just show you care and concern towards her and try not to over react in sudden situationa and relax and normally react things in front of her...

Just be in your self and have a smile on your face a light cute smile and try to help others too in front of her and by doing this just give a slight look at her.. so that she can also divert her mind towards you...

:)

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Originally Posted by boxerxer

Hi all, I'm 17 and have the same situation. I get a top 3 rank generally, the girl I like is also intelligent, gets top 5 rank, but i dunno what 2 do.

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So what is going on boxerer ?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by coolchamp

ha ha ha ha ha :) :)

thanks nupur again!!

ya u r right that i am down on confidence in this matter...but its not that i have a phobia talking 2 girls...infact ia m very outspoken person and talk to girls in my office as well on regular basis...u bring any girl in front of me and if i am unable to talk to her i will give you 1000 bucks straight away... :) ...not like the rajesh kuthrapally of sitcom The big bang theory... :)

bit i n this particular matter its happening may be bcoz i like her,...and when u like someone it becomes an altogehter different story...u want it to be so perfect that nothing goes wrong..u want to cast ur best impression and moreover dont want to looe her at any cost..and tats precisely the reason of my pathetic performance so far...:)

but ya today morning as i woke up with a fresh mind , i realized that filmy fundas aint gud for such things...i gotta be normal and start talkin 2 her....if she has anything in her mind for me she will also show some interest...lets see....i hope to show some courage soon....:)

btw she always looks so gud...i amloosing sleep these days... :)

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