How to convince your parents about your love

Once you fall in love with someone and are certain you want to marry your love the first phase is the one that’s complete because the next one (the hardest one) remains. Marriage is a huge commitment and when parents learn that their child has found someone to marry and start a new life with several doubts, questions and uncertainties arise in their mind. Marriage between two people is a big turning point in life and everyone’s parents would like to believe and know that their little one found the ideal match in their love.
This is why people in love sometimes get worried when they have to confront their parents that their partner is perfect for them and that they want to marry them. Parents usually react with shock when children break the news that they are in love and want to get married. So here are a few ways to deal with the situation well so that parents get convinced that your choice is truthfully the best one.


AVOID TELLING THEM SUDDENLY
If you are in a deep relationship and are considering marriage then it is a wise idea to regularly give inputs about your developing and strong relationship so that from their side they expect a marriage in the future. When a couple breaks the news suddenly, that’s when parents get rattled. The best option is to break it gently, dropping hints over a period of time. Talk about how great your partner is with you over a period of time so when you finally tell them that you two want to get married they don’t take it badly.


LET YOUR PARENTS GET TO KNOW YOUR PARTNER.
If you are in a relationship and it’s a serious one then it is advisable to get your partner and parents to meet once in a way. Include your partner in family outings and include your parents for weekend get together. That way, through social gatherings both sides will get a chance and meeting each other constantly. This will help give your parents a fair idea of how your partner is as a person. Finally, when you two decide that you want to take it to the next level and get married, try to tell your parents together, as a couple. Present your decision as a mature, independent couple that is ready to take on the new commitment of a married life. This will help your parents to stop taking unnecessary tension and they’ll trust you and your decision.



FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT YOUR PARTNER IS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE
When you ease the news to your parents, never start telling them that you have decided to get married and that’s that. In order to convince them that what you are doing is indeed a good and mature thing you need to focus on telling your parents how great your partner is and how they are the love of your life. At the end of the day, deep inside their hearts, parents just want one thing for their children – they want them to be happy. So tell them how much your partner makes you happy and makes you a better person so that they are convinced that your choice is right. The point is: talk about the person in a good light.
TALK ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS YOUR PARTNER DOES TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL
Every parent wants their child to feel special and cared for. This is why they always feel that no one is a good match for their children because they believe that no on can love their children the way they deserve to be loved. This is precisely why you should talk about the little things that your partner does to make you feel special so that your parents finally believe that your partner is indeed a great catch.



PROVE THAT YOUR PARTNER IS THE RIGHT ONE
Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of effort to prove to your parents that your partner is the right one. A few things like making your partner call your parents for birthdays and anniversaries is one helpful way which will make parents believe that your partner is actually a good catch who has good manners and makes the extra effort to belong to the family. Once they recognize your partner’s genuine efforts they will surely try to be nice to them thus eventually accepting that you have already made your decision to marry “the one”.



LET THE PARENTS MEET
Sometimes, if the couple can successfully make the two families (each other’s parents) meet and get along then a decision to marry will be supported by all. Try getting yours and your partner’s parents to meet each other. Book a holiday inn or a cozy picnic spot or club for the occasion so that each side gets plenty of time to relax and talk. Once you set the ambiance things will progress smoothly and eventually when you tell them that you want to get married they will probably be okay with it.



ALL THE BEST !!!!


*Disclaimer: These are just few ways one can adopt while trying to convince his/her parents. Following these might give you a success.

Hi Love Guru!!!!!!

Man u should write a holy book on love,

Hi pulkit
you should be a love guru yar by the way i have girl friend and she always ask for good name for her what should i have2 call my gf apart from (janu, baby,guy..etc) pls give me swt name

@Ravinder : Hello Mr. Oberoi.... thanks alot for your comment and ofcourse, your compliment. It took me a 2 days to write all this out and fair it for this website. And in regards to writing a book on love, I might need your help too...perhaps you can finance ;-)

Anyways, thanks alot for your appreciation.


@phpdevloper : Hello Sir, I guess you make websites using PHP ( thats why such a name ). Well thank you for your compliment. I really liked it. But its not being a loveguru, I would feel myself lucky if I could help anyone out.
Well...regarding a name that you can give to your girlfriend, I dont think so I can help you out. Still, all I can say is ...Google might have an answer to your problem. Search for such names.... you will get one for her. :-) :-)
It really sweet that you two share a good chemistry.

Anyways thanks alot for your words...!!!! :-)

Thanks bro...
You guessed well also we use php to make websites dynamic . and you wrote well on board carry on dear.

@phpdeveloper : Thanks you Sir. These appreciations are always needed. Thanks alot. Yeah I understand, PHP language, even Facebook is developed on PHP largely. Can we develop a floating website through PHP ??

Hi Pulkit!!

Buddy i have already told you i ran out of money in the last week of month, i think u should look for another financer

@Ravinder : Sir, dont worry.... I will be writing the book next month only...he he he :D :D

Yes Facebook is developed in PHP and i think you are also intrested in I.T you are very good bcz you have alot knowledge in every field that's really nice .
carry on..

And there are also many flirting sites available in market wich are devloped with the help of PHP and MySQL aur other technologeis like LAMP

@phpdeveloper : Thank you sir for your compliment. Ohk, so this is really nice that there are floating websites available in market developed using PHP. But these websites are all very bulky.... infact a floating website is bulky all together. Hmmmm..... so PHP is a new technology in the market. I guess, HTML,XML, Silverlight, .NET are all old now. Its good....!!! Lets see whats next ?? :-)

Hi Pulkit,

Its really a great post.
But I have a question...My mother came to know about my boyfriend one year back that too in a negative way..She thought that everything is over between us but I really love him and Its impossible for me to leave him..and even my father is against love marriage...I am 24 years old and every moment I am thinking about how to tell them :( ...Should I start giving hints to them or Is ther any other possible way...we both are from same caste!!!

@upasana123 : Hello ma'am, thank you for your lovely words. Basically, I would suggest you to post a new thread of your question because posting the question on the same thread can lead to some problems in the future.

Anyways, if you have asked for a help, here it is.... all the things written above on this thread is true. If you follow those, you MIGHT get success. Now coming to your question, its good that you two belong to the same caste as this is the major reason of parents rejection to a relationship. Now, all you can do is..start giving them hints about your guy. If they ask you about him, try to convince them..talk to them directly...you can also arrange a meeting between your guy and your parents so that they get to know each other well. This is all you can do right now.... other things will be dealt with when its the right moment. But be prepared to have a tough fight because convincing parents is not less than a war. Have confidence - a little bit in God, a little at your destiny and a little at your own self...live will go on smoothly. :-)

All The Best !!!
Take Care

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pulkit

Once you fall in love with someone and are certain you want to marry your love the first phase is the one that’s complete because the next one (the hardest one) remains. Marriage is a huge commitment and when parents learn that their child has found someone to marry and start a new life with several doubts, questions and uncertainties arise in their mind. Marriage between two people is a big turning point in life and everyone’s parents would like to believe and know that their little one found the ideal match in their love.
This is why people in love sometimes get worried when they have to confront their parents that their partner is perfect for them and that they want to marry them. Parents usually react with shock when children break the news that they are in love and want to get married. So here are a few ways to deal with the situation well so that parents get convinced that your choice is truthfully the best one.


AVOID TELLING THEM SUDDENLY
If you are in a deep relationship and are considering marriage then it is a wise idea to regularly give inputs about your developing and strong relationship so that from their side they expect a marriage in the future. When a couple breaks the news suddenly, that’s when parents get rattled. The best option is to break it gently, dropping hints over a period of time. Talk about how great your partner is with you over a period of time so when you finally tell them that you two want to get married they don’t take it badly.


LET YOUR PARENTS GET TO KNOW YOUR PARTNER.
If you are in a relationship and it’s a serious one then it is advisable to get your partner and parents to meet once in a way. Include your partner in family outings and include your parents for weekend get together. That way, through social gatherings both sides will get a chance and meeting each other constantly. This will help give your parents a fair idea of how your partner is as a person. Finally, when you two decide that you want to take it to the next level and get married, try to tell your parents together, as a couple. Present your decision as a mature, independent couple that is ready to take on the new commitment of a married life. This will help your parents to stop taking unnecessary tension and they’ll trust you and your decision.



FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT YOUR PARTNER IS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE
When you ease the news to your parents, never start telling them that you have decided to get married and that’s that. In order to convince them that what you are doing is indeed a good and mature thing you need to focus on telling your parents how great your partner is and how they are the love of your life. At the end of the day, deep inside their hearts, parents just want one thing for their children – they want them to be happy. So tell them how much your partner makes you happy and makes you a better person so that they are convinced that your choice is right. The point is: talk about the person in a good light.
TALK ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS YOUR PARTNER DOES TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL
Every parent wants their child to feel special and cared for. This is why they always feel that no one is a good match for their children because they believe that no on can love their children the way they deserve to be loved. This is precisely why you should talk about the little things that your partner does to make you feel special so that your parents finally believe that your partner is indeed a great catch.



PROVE THAT YOUR PARTNER IS THE RIGHT ONE
Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of effort to prove to your parents that your partner is the right one. A few things like making your partner call your parents for birthdays and anniversaries is one helpful way which will make parents believe that your partner is actually a good catch who has good manners and makes the extra effort to belong to the family. Once they recognize your partner’s genuine efforts they will surely try to be nice to them thus eventually accepting that you have already made your decision to marry “the one”.



LET THE PARENTS MEET
Sometimes, if the couple can successfully make the two families (each other’s parents) meet and get along then a decision to marry will be supported by all. Try getting yours and your partner’s parents to meet each other. Book a holiday inn or a cozy picnic spot or club for the occasion so that each side gets plenty of time to relax and talk. Once you set the ambiance things will progress smoothly and eventually when you tell them that you want to get married they will probably be okay with it.



ALL THE BEST !!!!


*Disclaimer: These are just few ways one can adopt while trying to convince his/her parents. Following these might give you a success.

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Hello...I m in relationship with my partner since last 8 month n also we decided to get marry.. From my side in my family expect my father all r aware of my relationship n all they talk to my partner..they r also ready to accept my choice..but i m not getting how should i convince my father. these is the 1st problem created.. again her parents r not aware of our relationship..3 month before her parents was got message that she is roaming with a boy. she also told her father that this name guy was with me but we are not in relationship.her father told her not to talk wih him but though we are always together.Now every thing is fine. but i m always getting afraid of that how will she convince her parents.. because they are so polite to her. they love her very much. i m always getting tense about i don't want to loose her in any condition. so please help me to know how should she suggest her parents make them believe to her for having right partner.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RAHUL JATKAR

Hello...I m in relationship with my partner since last 8 month n also we decided to get marry.. From my side in my family expect my father all r aware of my relationship n all they talk to my partner..they r also ready to accept my choice..but i m not*getting how*should*i*convince*my father. these is the 1st problem created.. again her parents r not aware of our relationship..3 month before her parents was got message that she is roaming with a boy. she also told her father that this name guy was with me but we are not in relationship.her father told her not to talk wih him but though we are always together.Now every thing is fine. but i m always getting afraid of that how will she convince her parents.. because they are so polite to her. they love her very much. i m always getting tense about i don't want to loose her in any condition. so please help me to know how should she suggest her parents make them believe to her for having right partner.

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There is a thread running in your name. I have given my answer to you there. Please check and confirm. Also, would appreciate if you stay connected with us by providing us updates on your relationship.

Hi all I am facing a very common problem
I am in a serious relationship with a gal since 4 years.I tried to convince my parents but they are not agreeing.
They are only thinking about what people will say and not my happiness.
The gal is from same caste but different " Gotra ". that's the only reason the are not accepting our relation.
I love my family and don't want to hurt them , at the same time i can't leave that girl.
I am working.

please help me guys.

Have you read first post of this topic, Pulkit has shared some good ideas and advices.

thank u very much pulkit.But the thing is that my Parents don't want to meet her parents and the gal.all they are saying is k " Log kya kaenge " and " Ijjat nai karega koi teri ". and my dad is saying dat if u will do court marriage , leave us and don't come here again.

Man u should write a holy book on love


.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Raj_89

thank u very much pulkit.But the thing is that my Parents don't want to meet her parents and the gal.all they are saying is k " Log kya kaenge " and " Ijjat nai karega koi teri ". and my dad is saying dat if u will do court marriage , leave us and don't come here again.

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Hi Raj_89,


Firstly, thanks alot for reading the post. This forum is meant for people like you who are in pain and have nobody to share their feelings to...!!! Welcome to the forum.

Secondly, since this is a post written by me, I would appreciate if you can run a thread in your name, posting the same problem their. It will be more visible to others and they will also help you out. I will only brief you here.

Now, coming to your problem, which is obviously a very common problem for couples in love when they decide to marry each other. Take it for granted, argument will lead you nowhere. Realize they are your parents and you should respect them. But, that doesn't mean you don't fight back for something which is wrong on their part. All I want to say is be assertive in your approach. Make them understand, if they can say to you that you can leave your house and never come back if you opt for court marriage, then, you can also tell them that you will not marry anyone else except your girl and you are ready to wait till either they agree or you die.
Parents generally object on baseless issues of caste differences and family status because they feel, love for today's generation is just a game or a fashion statement...and so they want their children to settle down with a person best suited for them, seriously . But once they realize that their children is damn serious about their relationship and really love their partner, they eventually agree to it. Afterall what a parent want is that their child should be secure, happy and in safe hands.
So, its all about communication. Communicate as much as you can and be assertive in your approach. Don't hurt their feelings and emotions. Listen to what they say but don't accept.
Give some more time to your fight, let your parents understand your relationship. I am sure they will meet your lover too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jimmyjjohn

Man u should write a holy book on love




.

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Hi jimmyjjohn,

Definitely friend, if I will write it, I'll make sure you grab the first copy of it.
I don't feel there is anything wrong in helping people with problems they can't discuss with anyone.
Would appreciate if you too can contribute to it.

Hi pulkit,

These are very good ideas and valuable too. But this is for parents who have patience to listen and care for their kids or have open mind to some extent or at least not extremists. In my case m from south n like a north indian guy. Recently said in home got house arrested lost my job almost even lost my life.. by god's grace came out.
For such type of family n parents these suggestions wont even touch their ear externally.. What to do in such case? Its impossible to make dogs tail straight same way is my parents.. they believe more relatives than their kids and there is nothing so grateful like caste for them..
All they care is CASTE CASTE CASTE ..... and they will go any extreme...
I have see things beyond possibility and such cases these good options you gave wont even have its way towards them.. any thoughts how to convince such parents? :o:confused::(

I am facing same problem. Girl's father don't want to even consider me as I am not of same caste.

She tried for almost 6 months to convince her father. Even my mother called up her father but he is not even ready to talk and said if I or someone from my family calls him he will take legal action. Girl has given up I think. what should I do? Should I call her dad directly?

PS: I am graduated from one of the top colleges in India and making good amount of money. My family is one of the most reputed family in city. I cant understand why her father is behaving like this and what can be done ?