Choice between parents and the person I love
Iam a 27 year old female working as a teacher in delhi. i am in relationship with a guy since 1 and half year. He is 29yrs, MBA. we both belong to the same caste. I met him through a matrimonial site. but my parents dont aprrove of this relationship since they say i have chosen him myself and i have betrayed their trust. even when they said no his brother about this alliance i kept contact with him. they said even if he is better than me they will not say yes since i have betrayed thrie trust. i lied to them i met him few times. his brother and uncle have tried talking to my dad but he doesn't want to talk to them. my mother doesn't like the way he looks. they want some engineer or a govt. officer. they said if i will marry him they will break all ties with me. what should i do??????
thinking thinking and thinking
As u said i should just sit unmarried and wait for their decision to change. But what is the time limit. My friends are saying before taking any decision just think once that if u get married no one from your family will talk to you as your parents will not let them keep contact with you. They said its only till the honeymoon period that everything looks good but after that when monotony sets in girls tend to miss her parents and family. They said keep in mind that then their will be no one to share your feelings from your family, you will not be invited to any family gathering. Can you tackle all this. If yes then only go ahead otherwise leave him and do what your parents say. My cousin said if by chance you get married on your own and your father gets an attack, blame would be on you. She said since your father dint let his own sister have love marriage then he must be thinking what will she say if he allows his own daughter.
I mean people are putting me under all soughts of pressure, fear and guilt. I said to them that since childhood till now i have always done whatever my parents said without questioning them. I never realised that even i can use my brains and have a choice. I have always made their choices mine. And i never had any probs with it as i was not aware that i too can think. I have never taken any decision on my own. But really this time i want to do what my heart syas is right. And i dont want to feel guilty about it. Iam ready to face all consequences.
I dont know till when should i wait and what will happen after that but yes iam waiting and waiting........lets see what happens.
Hi my story continues.....
Its been a month since my parents talked to me. Just yesterday they came to my room and asked if iam ready to change my decision to marry that boy or not. I said no atleast once u meet him. They again started shouting and gave all those illogical points, "why did u betray our trust? how come he has become more imp. than us? he must be bad boy who is teaching u to against ur parents......etc.etc. I said lets talk on logical points, tell me what is ur basic concern. They said he lives alone in delhi, I said ok fine his mother will come to stay with us. They said he is from marketting field and it must be a touring job and we dont like it. I said see he doesn't go on tours that often and if at times he goes iam ok with it. They said he lives alone he must have drinking haI n't said educated people drink occasionally and within limits. an tell me who doesn't drink in ur arranged marriages setup. both my cousin jijai's drink and they live in ajoint family. my own father drinks occasionaly. Then they said you have gone mad for him and speaking so much in front of us. al this and much more.......and finally they asked me if iam willing to marry him even at the cost of cutting all ties with us. I said iam willing to marry him but i dont want to cut ties with u that is ur decision not mine. They said but this is final that we will not have ny contact wid u. I said ok. ..............then they went to other room and came out after some time.......they said ok we will ask all our relatives to come this weekend at our house and we wll tell them about u and we will ask a pandit to take out a suitaible date for ur wedding any time in next month. we will get u married at some chota mota place, we wll be ther but we wont be happy. You have to surrender all ur savings or whatever you have earned in past 6 years and go away breaking all ties with us. I said fine....................