my life has been shattered by my wife and her parents

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11-06-2012, 02:58 PM
nokia20

my life has been shattered by my wife and her parents

Well I can write a long novel about my 1.6 years of married life . My wife left me just for the sake of her career and she did it on the suggestions of my in-laws ( living 400 KMs away from Pune ) . She wanted me to leave my parents forever and take care of her parents ,move along with her to Mumbai from Pune and should not visit my parents back in my village ( 100 Kms away from Pune ) .. And for that she even aborted the child so that she can concentrate on her career ... Well it is just my perception about the whole nonsense which happened with me ... But my other mind tells me that she may have had a previous affair with some guy from different cast and just to save her father's social status , she may have had married me .. I dont know the exact reason ..

This is just a synopsis of my torturous married life .. If you want a more detailed info then plz visit my blog
11-06-2012, 10:07 PM
Aarish Rizvi

That is sad story, I don't know why you are documenting it all , I think it will give you more pain.. moreover why you are looking at negative side that your Wife may had an affair, if you are thinking that way then even worst could be there in her past , .. but man . that was past.. I dont' want to say anything more..
11-07-2012, 10:22 AM
nokia20

well I have a reason to say that my wife could have been into some affair

Just after 15 days of our marriage , i found her logging into a guy's facebook account using his user ID and password ( she have had created it where she have had put specific details such as his birthdate , his education , his work location , his college name , and in school name she have had put her name with a pass-out year ) . When i asked her about her act , she started fooling me around but i didnt believe her as before marriage for 2 months I was asking about her any previous affair which she always denied of having any . I didnt trust her at that time but her sister's husband asked me to forget whatever happened and start a fresh life swearing on the name of his 2 year old child which I did... But she didnt forget it and then actual drama started by her and her parents, sister , brother .

Well I am a modern man and I give a damn to Facebook and all these things , that is not a problem .. Real problem is her previous room-mates .. She was living with 2 girls which can be easily categorized as Despo Call-girls running after money and those gals can do anything for money ... She stayed with them for 3 years .. I came to know these things after my engagement with her .. I could have broken the engagement but she acted smartly at that time .. She have had melt me with her sweet words and even she have had slept with me twice .. So if i have had broken the marriage at that time then she could have easily dragged me into a police case such as rape and breach of marriage promise.. Ours wasnt a love marriage .. It was an arranged marriage through shaadi.com .. I have had talked to her twice before meeting her only once and she started showing desperation for a marriage with me just after this much interaction with me .. Then I talked to my parents about her and she sent her parents to my place .. They were also desperate like their daughter for a marriage .. They didnt give us any time for cross-checking their family and my wife and within 10 days we have had an engagement and with 15 days after our engagement , we have had a marriage
11-07-2012, 02:13 PM
manojbhagat

I never comment on this part of the section on this forum, i just go through it. This is a very unique and disturbing occurance.
Waiting for comments from expert's.
11-07-2012, 04:30 PM
nokia20

well , even her dad threatened me n my dad with lives when we asked if my wife had aborted the child and he refused to send her bk. .she stayed wid me just for 6 months out of 1.6 yrs married life . . In this period i tried to end my life once. .she drained me out completely financially , emotionly . . And wat more Her dad threatened me n my 70yr old dad n 65 yr ofd hr8 patient mom wid fake domestic violence , dowry cases if i dnt divorce her . . I hv at around 80 hrs of mobile ph recording , her emails , fb messages . . I dnt knw hw shud i describe everythin. . They filed a divorce case and nw they r askin huge money 4 out of court settlement otherwise they r goin to file false cases on me n my family
11-07-2012, 04:35 PM
Aarish Rizvi

You mean she was looking into other guy's profile or you mean she was login into FB by other guy's login details ?

@manojbhagat
He is not really asking anything, he is just sharing his thoughts !
11-07-2012, 04:44 PM
manojbhagat

@yahoo-There should be a way to help him. Its a very deperessing situation.
11-07-2012, 04:51 PM
nokia20

she was usin tht guy's user credentials . . And she hv had created it long ago . . Few weeks ago , i recieved a call frm so called well wisher who told me tht she hd an affair bt as my FIL is a politician and tht guy was frm diff cast , so she played this game of fake marriage wid me
11-07-2012, 04:59 PM
nokia20

well thr is no chance for me to save myself , i hv 2 bow down in front of them as indian matrimönial law is against husband
11-07-2012, 05:29 PM
nokia20

Quote:

Originally Posted by manojbhagat

@yahoo-There should be a way to help him. Its a very deperessing situation.

there is no escape for me frm this hell , but to bow down in front of them ,sign on divorce papers and give into their demand of huge money . . This is some kind of legal prostitution and i cnt do anythin with tht as indian laws r totally against husbands where accordin to these laws ,a husband is a wife beater , alcoholic , womaniser and cruel with his wife if wife goes to the court
11-12-2012, 07:38 PM
nokia20

Quote:

Originally Posted by manojbhagat

@yahoo-There should be a way to help him. Its a very deperessing situation.

tht bashtard is threatenin us wid new cases . And this unbearable 4 me nw
11-16-2012, 09:30 PM
Pulkit

Quote:

Originally Posted by nokia20

tht bashtard is threatenin us wid new cases . And this unbearable 4 me nw

Hello nokia20,

Pretty difficult situation to handle now as you rightly said there indian laws are against husbands if their wifes go to the court and lodge a complaint against them.

You mentioned you have over couple of messages, emails and fb chats. You can use them as a proof to defend yourself in this case. I understand the laws against husbands are hard but there is always a way out and who knows what might turn out to be fruitful in your case.
You can defend your case in a court of law by presenting those proofs. But, for this you really need to engage a learned lawyer who could fight from your side.

Second is what I feel you can try is, instead of involving yourself in this legally, you can try to organize a meeting between your family and her's which would include every elder and experienced person from both the sides. This meeting could be targetted to come to a mid-way decision agreed upon by both the familes.

See, its for sure laws against husbands are tuff and in case you loose your side, you have to pay the whole amount, as much as they have demended to them. Our point here is, to minimize this money flow out of your hands ; an handsome amount which satisfies them and is fairly less than what they have demanded from you. Moreover, this meeting would act as a treaty between both the families as a settlement that nothing more will happen next, that is, the marriage is formally broken from both the sides and that no party would ever try to indulge in one and other's respective lives.
So, you both formally move apart and matters not to each other.

This would be a solution lying mid-way and satisfying both the parties in question. Think about that and try to work in that direction.

I wish you Luck !!!
11-28-2012, 12:22 AM
nokia20

yar , these so called westernised gals dnt understand tht hindu married life is way different than wat they think abt havin a luv affair . . Thr is a total dedication whn u r in luv so thr r no fights bt once u get married thn real practical world comes in frnt of u and thn fights r started. . . These bytches need to understand tht wateva happens India cn nt b like western countries .. These bytches r in mid 20s or early 30s bt after 10,15 yrs no young man wud b spittin on them and even if they remarry old ghosts in d name of old habits wud b comin bk to haunt them which wud spoil thr next marriage too . . Right nw i hv decided to marry any widow bt nt a divorcee . .as they cn nt b trusted . . Atleast a widow wud understand my value and my importance in her life
11-29-2012, 08:40 PM
Pulkit

Quote:

Originally Posted by nokia20

yar , these so called westernised gals dnt understand tht hindu married life is way different than wat they think abt havin a luv affair . . Thr is a total dedication whn u r in luv so thr r no fights bt once u get married thn real practical world comes in frnt of u and thn fights r started. . . These bytches need to understand tht wateva happens India cn nt b like western countries .. These bytches r in mid 20s or early 30s bt after 10,15 yrs no young man wud b spittin on them and even if they remarry old ghosts in d name of old habits wud b comin bk to haunt them which wud spoil thr next marriage too . . Right nw i hv decided to marry any widow bt nt a divorcee . .as they cn nt b trusted . . Atleast a widow wud understand my value and my importance in her life

Its not about westernisation and hindu marriage concepts. Its just that their parents didn't care for them as and how they should do. Too much of freedom and pampering will definitely put things out of hands. Everything in a controlled manner is acceptable.
So, since you are finalized with the divorce now, take sometime out to relax,concentrate on post-divorce situation and clear the mess around. This time make yourself double sure that the decision you are taking is worth it. Don't hurry..wait a while !!
11-30-2012, 01:15 AM
nokia20

thanks pulkit . . .indian govt brought those gender biased rules long ago when dowry deaths , wife beating was an acceptable thing in our society .but wid increased educated class in todays india, these things hv almost vanished from our society apart frm very very few fools who r still living in 60s and also uneducated ppl living in slums . For those douchebags , these laws r big threat , but in reality wat happens in india , is that those needy victims arent aware of such laws becos of lack of educatiön or guidence . . Since educated parents,girls r well aware of such laws even b4 marriage , they use these laws as handy weapöns to extort money from innocent grooms who r busy in drawing pictures of happy married life b4 marriage . Once after wedding happens , girl side starts showin thr true colors .and all hell broke on groom bt its already very late 4 him. . I wud request all unmarried guys nt to go 4 long distance arranged marriages thru matrimonial sites instead of marry a girl frm close relatives whr u cn trust them. .

I hv learned ths tuff lesson . Well tht gal was wid me just 4 6 months , and this almost 6 months seperation wid her , has wiped all kinda luv for her frm my brain , bt yes nt frm my hr8 , so i dnt think tht i cud feel pain when i sign tht shit divorce paper. . Let her go away frm my life , bt surely she wud understand wat kinda precious luv which is nothing in frnt of alimony amount, she had lost after an year or so .besides tht 4 d moment i let them to enjoy them thr fake victory , bt society wont and they wud start askin tons of questions to them then they wud realise thr sins . .
11-30-2012, 08:45 PM
Pulkit

Quote:

Originally Posted by nokia20

thanks pulkit . . .indian govt brought those gender biased rules long ago when dowry deaths , wife beating was an acceptable thing in our society .but wid increased educated class in todays india, these things hv almost vanished from our society apart frm very very few fools who r still living in 60s and also uneducated ppl living in slums . For those douchebags , these laws r big threat , but in reality wat happens in india , is that those needy victims arent aware of such laws becos of lack of educatiön or guidence . . Since educated parents,girls r well aware of such laws even b4 marriage , they use these laws as handy weapöns to extort money from innocent grooms who r busy in drawing pictures of happy married life b4 marriage . Once after wedding happens , girl side starts showin thr true colors .and all hell broke on groom bt its already very late 4 him. . I wud request all unmarried guys nt to go 4 long distance arranged marriages thru matrimonial sites instead of marry a girl frm close relatives whr u cn trust them. .

I hv learned ths tuff lesson . Well tht gal was wid me just 4 6 months , and this almost 6 months seperation wid her , has wiped all kinda luv for her frm my brain , bt yes nt frm my hr8 , so i dnt think tht i cud feel pain when i sign tht shit divorce paper. . Let her go away frm my life , bt surely she wud understand wat kinda precious luv which is nothing in frnt of alimony amount, she had lost after an year or so .besides tht 4 d moment i let them to enjoy them thr fake victory , bt society wont and they wud start askin tons of questions to them then they wud realise thr sins . .

Yes I understand, laws against husbands are really tuff and tight and there are few females who are using this as a weapon. Also, it will take some long time for laws to change. That is why it is always recommended to do a thorough investigation before getting married to someone. Nobody would mind on it, I feel so.

And yes, its their fake victory. Everything, every fun comes to an end when you will get old and there will be nobody to support you. Right now she hs her family, her parents to take care of her but you very well know what will happen at the later stage. It will be time when she will understand the worth of getting married and settling in life rather than experimenting with it.

You take a chill pill. Be happy it ended soon. Dragging it for long would have made things go worse. So, wise decision for taking a seperation !!!