How To convince my parents for Love marriage - issue of priorities

Hi,


i am suffering with a problem since 4 years.
I am in love with a guy(at my work location) since 4 years, hez from different caste. I thought of caste before the proposal, but i cudn't resist myself without talking to this guy and our relationship build up very strongly. Basically i am from a middle class family and my parents are my high priority, we live in a small town. I struggled alot to tell my love matter to my parents. my struggle went on for 3 years and finally i told my dad about our love. Initially they didn't say anything but later they asked me to quit my job and they kept me at home for one month. For that one month i didn't even talked to my guy. Finally i bluffed with my parents that i will forget this guy and asked them to send back to my job, i dont know whether i did correct thing or not, but my intention is just to come out of my home and talk to my guy(as i dont even have access to my mobile @ my home).


After coming to my job location i told them that i bluffed with you, i cannot forget that guy. My problem is from the day 1 itself they are thinking of caste itself. they didn't even try to understand what made me to love him alot. They are just asking one thing "That Guy has become your priority than us".


They showed the following reasons for thier rejection
--> His parents will not agree for marriage and they will ill treat you after marriage.
--> they will ask for huge dowry which we can't afford
--> the guy is not looking good
--> the guy is having Manglik dosha in his horoscope.


I tried to give them aswer for all the reasons but they simply rejected all my answers. May be my answers are not satisfactory for them. My guy is in abroad now and he will be coming to talk to my parents. He called my dad and mom twice but literally they were very rude to him.he said he will meet them in person.


In the mean while my parents are planning to assemble my guy's parents, me, my guy and talk to them that they are not at all interested to do the marraige.


I have made a huge mistake by ignoring my parents feelings during this process. i didn't even talk properly with my parents from past 3 months. but i am not finding any different way other than shouting at them, i am getting frustration when they say "You are imagining that you cannot live without this guy, but in actual you can do that by putting little effort, dont try to spoil our name"


I beg you to suggest me something. I cannot live without my guy and hez with same feelings. I am afraid of my future. What ever i am doing now with my parents, i really dont want to do. I thought of convincing them in a very nice way, which they are not allowing me to do. My dad shouts at me when i raise this topic. Some times i am feeling like leaving all these relations and go some where and cry loudly.


Please help me out.


Thank you Very Much Atleast for listening me.

Hi pavEnna,

Couple of things you need to do to make the conversation go smooth.

First, STOP ARGUING at once. The matter can be handled if you behave decently. Don't forget they are your parents and in that capacity they would like you to respect them and listen to them, atleast. Talk to them softly, instead of shouting. Listen to their points first, wait for them to get over and then reply them with your justifications. Arguing or getting into a heated debate will just ruin the matter and none of you will reach to a conclusion.

Second, to whatever reasons they have given provide them with a very practical and valid reason as to why you think they are wrong.
For instance, among the reasons you have given above where you say your parents are against the match because "His parents will not agree for marriage and they will ill treat you after marriage and they will ask for huge dowry which we can't afford" you can plainly say its reckless for them to ASSUME thing up right now when nothing as such has happened or will happen. By mere assumption that your life will be ruined after marrying him you cannot or will not leave this guy. Ask them to provide a valid reason to proof their point.

Again, you can tell them its just a waste to marry you to someone else whom you will never ever love or respect in your entire life. Neither will he be happy with you nor will you be with him. In that case, you will be ruining his life as well, which ofcourse you don't have the rights to.

Talking about horoscope you can assure them you are ready to face any mishappenings or unfortunate incidents coming your way because its your life, your decision. So, it would hardly matter if he is Manglik or not.


All you need to tell them you cannot just accept what they want based on their ASSUMPTIONS. Howsoever experienced they might be being elder to you but still you are not convinced. When the guy is ready to get married, when his family is ready for the same then how come these issues of dowry or ill treatment after marriage come??

Talk to your parents on this patiently. Also, let us know uptil now what and how have you been trying to convince them.
Let your guy come and talk to your parents on this.

Right now, you need to relax because you are not getting married tomorrow. The last decision will be in your hand. Don't panic too much. It will take sometime to convince them. Don't be impatient.

You may browse this link below:
Love and marriage methods----dr.sky