My Father against my love but support from family

hii,

me and my love are school mates and good friends...till 10th we r together...later we were busy in our acedamics n there is no contact for 5yrs...when we were in graduation we met in our school re-union..
from that day we were in contact....our freindship grew nd we were in love from the past 3 yrs ie from 2010.
we both share strong bonding.,respect each other, nd we understand each other very well...i definately know that he is my perfect soulmate nd i couldnt find a guy lik him ever in my life again..

we were at 23, and both are well settled...so we hav taken proposal in front of our parents (in 2011)...there is a positive response from his side...but my dad is strongly opposing it...im the only child for him..
the main problem is caste,,we both are hindus..but im naidu nd he is gowds...my dad is against love and intercaste marriage...he doesnt have gud opinion on both of love and his caste..
im strugling from the past 2 yrs.. trying by talking support of my uncl nd cousin sisters...they are trying alot to convince him but he is nt listening
he was sooo stubborn and stood on his decision...some times ill b positive hoping that all will be fine one day...but at times im loosing confidence nd feeling sooo depressed..
my mom was also on my side...but nobody could help me out to convince my dad...i don want to go away n marry him...bcoz i cant be happy with out both...i need both my parents and my love...plz help me out to sort this problem...
thnx alot for ur patience and care in giving reply to the sufferers

Hi Sri Priya,
It is good to hear that the guys family seems ready for the marriage and even your cousins and mom and uncles are ready for your marriage, this is not quite a tough situation though, what you have to do is gain support of a person who is very close to your father and your father will not deny to his words, when he would say something to your father, find some very close and trustworthy buddy of your father whose words will definitely not go on deaf ears on the part of your father, in the course, you also keep trying along with support of your relatives and you may succeed. Arrange a meeting of yours and your BF's parents and let the elders talk about this issue I think it will help you in a better way....

the only person to whom my dad listens is my grnd pa nd...he too is opposing me in this matter....:(

hi Sri Priya,
My friend too suffered from such situation so i can surely tell you the solution which will work but its on you and you only not even on your BF,you have to stood firm.Firstly You have to agree with your father's demand to not to marry your BF, secondly you have to be stubborn for not marrying any one.. means no one not even your bf. no parents can see their girl unmarried,lastly they can easily be convinced by your mother and sister.this will help you a lot for sure

Hi Sri Priya,
The way you can get your thing done you have to impress your grandpa as well its helps to your father to get ready to your love marriage. In today world no one thinks about caste and all. I would like to suggest you show capability of your love and how you will be happy with you loved one. show your dad and grandpa how familiar, caring, loving person is your loved one. I am sure once a day your dad and grandpa will agree to your marry. I hope you will be succeed in your aim. My best wishes are with you

exactly that was wat i kept on saying from the past 2 yrs....my dad is still d same...im hoping for the best..that one day my dream comes true...thnx a lot for u guys for ur support nd boosting advices:)

What do your grandpa have to say about your bf can you elaborate a little bit on what your Dad and Grandpa have to say for this relationship and what efforts are you taking to convince your pa and grandpa see whatever you do, you have to do it now, once the opportunity lost you will regret for whole life for it, make your parents understand that you can not live without your bf and it will also not be possible for you to love your future Hubby to whom your Dad and Grandpa will agree to marry you as you are already in love with somebody else, and if still they persist on their decision and make you marry to some other guy they are gonna ruin 3 lives together the one the most precious one of their own daughter, the other of your bf and the 3 of the person to whom you are gonna marry in future, and all this will just be because of the stubborn attitude of your Dad and Grandpa, talk to your grandpa first as manoj said, and take him to your side, he has a very good experience of life so if you talk to your grandpa and you may convince him, then half of your battle on your part is won the remaining part will be done by your grandpa himself. Moreover, tell them that if they forcefully marry you to some other guy, you may hold them responsible for whole life for forcing their decision on you and ruining you life, Trust me no parents will either like to see her daughter or son sad and also the big thing no parents will like to be the reason of their own child's sorrow and grief, all the parent wants is the happiness of their child. But if you don't take steps as our mates suggest you may lose the opportunity as well as your love. Love doesn't come your way and bang the door of your heart on its own, but if it does, you should not loose that opportunity to welcome it with open arms.

hii
swapnilramani ,
i had a long discussion wid both my dad as well as grnd pa..that ill be only happy wid the person i love...that i cant even imagine 3rd person comming into my life..and for them they show caste is the main hurdle...secondly till now in our family all were arranged marriages..so if am into the intercaste love marg they are telling that whole family will point out at us...
earlier my dad used to threaten me that he is gonna die if i don change my mind in 1yr...the time has given was over ,as he came to know still i couldnt convince ...he stopped saying that .\
all are asking him when are u planning ur daughters marriage even my grnd ma was insisting my dad abt my marriage...but i thing im lucky abt is he wont marry the 3rd person with out my acceptance...
at the same time im nt ready to accept any one exept my bf...time is being dragged lik this from the past 2yrs (frm may 2011)
as along as ther is no tpc abt my mariage me n my dad maintan gud rapo n understanding...once this tpc comes between us there are no greater enimies than we both...in all these 2 years those cousions who tried to convince my dad even tried to convince me alot...i really faced terrible situations every time bcoz neighter i can talk wid them harshly nor i can leave my love for their sake...i just need both....my parents nd my love...but how to change my dad was a life time question mark for me

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so if am into the intercaste love marg they are telling that whole family will point out at us...

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I think this reason is not a genuine one, I say this because you have right from the start said that your cousins and other family members are supporting you, so this reason does not makes sense, as far as family issues are concerned the other part that I liked in your above post is

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i thing im lucky abt is he wont marry the 3rd person with out my acceptance...

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and this makes your situation even better as you may stay stubborn on your decision of not marrying anybody else other than your boyfriend, you have to make them understand that by making you marry to some other person other than your boyfriend, they are directly gonna ruin 3 lives together the 1. of their daughter who will not be able to accept any other person as her husband other than your bf and also if forcefully done might not be able to accept him as husband and would curse the parents whole life for ruining her life by making her marry the boy of their choice forcefully, the second of your BF who also loves you and also will not be able to see any other girl in place of you and the third of the girl to whom your bf will have to marry by force if you will not marry her and saying that they have no right to play with others life, surely, they can influence their decisions on their daughter but they have no right to harm life of others. And all this you have to make them understand in a very polite and matured way so that they did not get hurt. And finally, all the parents want is the happiness of their child, so don't worry continue your attempts to convince them and don't lose hopes, stay intact on your decision of marrying either your BF or staying unmarried in your home for whole life, after all the emotional attempts and threatening too if they will find that the decision of their daughter is not changing, they will have to make you marry with your boyfriend.

how can i make him understand,,,tried wat all u said,,,but every thing is going in vain:(:(

I think you should ask your boyfriends family member to talk to your father and tell them to convince your father that they will keep you happy. Hope this works for you.

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Originally Posted by sri priya

how can i make him understand,,,tried wat all u said,,,but every thing is going in vain:(:(

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What exactly did you say and it matters too that how and in what tone you conveyed it to your Father and Grandfather, Father always has more softcorner and love for daughters, so he may deny for this surely thinking about your future and security in every aspects, I could not make out anything from this one liner post, can you elaborate what exactly did you say, and also how you conveyed it is important riya visit your forum profile I have left a message on it and if you have no problem you may p.m me back please find that message through notifications in top center of the page and reply to my p.m.
What was their reply to what you tried to explain to them???