Intercast love marrige (Sikh Rajput and Baniya Family)

I Love a boy belongs to baniya family and i belongs to sikh rajput family. He is 28 and i am 30 yrs old. we both are well sattled govt employee. i want to marry him he also with approval of his parents. he talked with his mom she respond him to negtively. after that she dnt talk with him properly. he love his family very much. he never go against them. they hated love marriages. they belongs to small town. their thinking is backward. itz not possible to change them. we dnt have lots of time for wait. i love him very much and i cant live without him. i want every possible way to marry him. please please help me..

Hi pampk,



You guys have to convince your parents for the marriage. The age and caste difference can be an issue here but nevertheless, since you guys love each other you should take a stand for it. Ask your boyfriend to talk to his parents in detail and explain to them how important it is for him to get married to you, since he loves you and there is no girl who can replace you. Ask him to talk about your positive qualities and why he loves you, what are those things that make you special in his eyes and how he feels about you.

Also, try to talk about your marriage at with your parents as well. You have hardly written anything what your parents have to say about this relation and/or whether they have accepted this relationship or not.

For the rest, please browse the forum. You will find many questions similar to that of yours. Please go through them as they might give you an idea of how to go about the situation.

His response is not postive then i am not talking with them. He also advised me no need to talk before his parents approval. Some times i feel he do not effort more because he dnt want create any kind of tension. plz tell me any sol... Plz..

Plz advice i loose my mental setup.. Plz plz i need help.

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Originally Posted by paripk

Plz advice i loose my mental setup.. Plz plz i need help.

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Dear, there is no direct solution to this problem. We won't advice you to run away and get married. Neither would you like to do it, Right?

In my opinion, you should talk to your parents and convince them for the marriage. If they get ready for this, it will put some pressure on your boyfriend's parents as well and they can be forced to think so.
So, let one family get ready for the marriage, there are chances that other family might also.

Don't loose hope. Talk to your parents and tell them how much you love your boyfriend and how eagerly you want to get married to him. Also ask your boyfriend that he should talk about it in his home and try to put in alot of efforts to convince his mother and father. If he has an elder brother/sister or someone whom he feels he is close to, he should first talk to him/her and take him/her in confidence. If everythings goes good, he can arrange a meeting so that his brother/sister/close relative can meet you and know you well. This might also prove helpful as this family member will support your boyfriend next time he talks about you at his home.

Don't loose hope. Stay strong. You have to fight alot.

Thanx , but i loose the hope and think about sucide i know this is not solution. i already do so many efforts for him. So i quit.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by paripk

Thanx , but i loose the hope and think about sucide i know this is not solution. i already do so many efforts for him. So i quit.

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Hi,


Please do not loose hope on this. Put your complete efforts to talk to your boyfriend about the whole situation. Also, its time when you should talk to your family and discuss the things openly. That will give you a clear picture of everything.

Now i talk to him again very strongly nd said to him take stand for marrige. Also clear my situation my health very down and i m in depression. Then he gave some symphaty but now he is very much clear about his society and parents. According to him i am very ziddi girl and now he is very negtive for me. Agar suside bhi krlu to usse koi farak nhi padta. Jayada se jayada usse ek saal ki jail hogi, pr agar aj mei aisa kr rhi ho to baad mei uske saath pata nhi kya karugi. Maine aapki advice bhi batai. usne kaha gud advice bt mere ko kuch mat keh. Mujhe extremely ganda behave kia ja raha hai aur mei mentally torcher ho rhi ho. Jo insaan mujhe itna jayada pyaar krta tha itni care krta tha wo mere liye es had tak negtive ho chuka ki jail tak jane liye tayar pr wo mujhe nhi apnana chahta. Meri life mei ek insaan jo mere liye hamesha stand leta tha aj jab mujhe uski sbse jayada jarurat wo mujhe ignore kr rha hai. Meri close friend ne ose pyar se bahut samjaya aur bataya ki aise marr jaungi. Par wo kehta ki wo kre koi solution hai hi nhi. Wo 7 bro sis hai jisme se 5 sis hai aur wo sabhi married hai. Hum middle class family se belong krte hai. Sis k in laws unhe sunayege ki tere bhai ne aisa kiya aur unke relatives mei kuch love marriage hui jo ki theek nhi hai ab. Uski wajah se ghar pe bahut si batein hoti ki love marriage wali ladkiya to hoti hi aisi hai. Maine har baat ko postively respond kiya aur aisa kuch nhi karogi pr uske according wo mere kabhi accept hi nhi karege. Mujhe us se sache dil se pyar ho gya hai. Aur kuch bhi krne ke liye tayar ho aur mujhe itna galat samaj raha hai. Mei kaha jau sb mujhe hi samjate hai aur kehte chod de aise insaan ko koshish bhi ki. Pr mere aisa nhi ho raha hai. Aur usne kaha time lagega aur baad mei sb theek ho jaiga. Jab relation shuru tab bhi ye sb problem thi ab jab mei apna pyar magti ho to wo kehte ki ye possible nhi ho paiga. Plz koi meri help krdo aur use kisi bhi tarah convince kr do....plz plzzzzzz...

Mei har cheez sacrifice kr sakti ho pr usko sacrifice nhi kr sakti. Aur ye wo samaj nhi pa rhe hai. Unko ye negtivity aati hai ki mei ziddi ho aur apni baat manvati ho. Plz mera bahut bura haal hai plz help me help me.

Hi paripk,


Main aapki pareshani ko samjhta hoon aur yeh bhi samjhta hoon ki apke boyfriend par iss waqt kya guzar rhi hai. Zaahir si baat hai dost, agar woh aapke sath itne samay se hain toh unka aapse ab rishta todna sahi nhi hoga. Agar shadi nahi karni thi toh itna waqt, itna effort dalne ka matlab hi nahi banta tha. Aksar insaan kabhi kabhi kuch aisi uljhanon mein fass jata hai ki usse khud bhi samjh nhi ata ki woh kya kare. Aap apne boyfriend se umar mein 2 saal badi hain aur rishton ki, shadi ki, pyaar ki ehmiyat, unki importance ko achchi tarah samjhti hain. Lekin agar main unki baat karun toh ek taraf aap hain jo shadi ke liye unke peeche hain aur dusri taraf unki maa hain jo iss rishte se naa-khush hain. Halaat kuch aise hain ki ek taraf aap roo rahi hain aur dusri taraf unki maa, aur iss wajah se unko bhi yeh samjh mein nahi aa rha hai ki woh kya karein ? Aur aise mein unka aap par gussa karna, irritate hokar ya negative hokar jawab dena laazmi hai.

Mere hisab se unse achche se baat kariye aur unko achvhe se samjhaiye ki agar unhe shadi karni hai toh unhe stand lena padega. Agar woh stand nahi lenge toh itna khoobsurat rishta bikhar jayega aur jo bhi sapne aapne dekhe the woh toot jayenge. Unko samjhane ki koshish karen ki iss ladai mein aap unka poora support karengi, bas agar woh iss rishte ko shadi mein tabdeel karna chahte hain toh.

Agar unhe lagta hai ki woh apne gharwalon ke against stand nahi le sakte, toh mere hisab se aapko unse umeed karna chod dena chahiye. Agar abhi woh jhukkne ke liye tayar ho jayenge toh phir poori zindagi mein woh aapka sath nhi nibha payenge. Aur meri samjh se kisi aise insaan k sath rishta nahi rakhna chahiye toh zarurat ke waqt aapka hath chodd de, jisko rishte ki keemat naa ho aur jo galat ke aage jhukk jaye.

Main yeh nahi keh rha hoon ki woh apne gharwalon se saare rishte naate todd dein, lekin kam se kam ek do baar achche se unhe samjhane ki, apni baat manwane ki koshish toh karen. Yeh toh har love story mein hota hi hai ki humare parents shadi ke liye manaa kar dete hain. Lekin mere khyaal se agar aapko apne pyaar par bharosa hai toh gharwalon ko samjhane mein koi pareshani nahi ani chahiye. Aur baat yahan koshish ki hai. Baaki aap dono ki kismat mein jo likha hai, wohi hoga. Kisi dusre ki love marriage unsuccessful rahi ya woh alag ho gye, iska matlab yeh nahi ki har love marriage aisi hi ho. Ho sakta hai aapki shadi shuda zindagi mein dher saari khushiyan hon.

Mere khyal se aapko apne boyfriend se achche se, milkar dobara se baat karni chahiye aur unhe samjhana chahiye. Koshish yeh bhi karein ki aap unka thoda waqt aur dein ki woh khud ko mentally tayar kar payen rishte ki baat karne ke liye gharwalon se. Pyaar se peshh ayein aur suicide jaisi negative baatein naa sochein. Bohot zaruri hai aapka iss waqt khud par control rakhna. Umeed naa khoyein.

thanx. aap ka reply mujhe jeene ki thodi hope de deta hai. haalat kuch aise ho chale hai unke parents unke k liye rishte dekh rahe hai. mere se ye sehan nhi ho raha na to wo mujh se pyar se koi baat krte hai aur na hi pyar ki kisi baat pr reply dete hai. jb mei bahut jayada fustrate ho jati ho to bs normal si thodi der baat kr lete hai. mei aur mentally unsatisfied ho jati ho. jab mei unko dekhi ho to mei kuch bol nhi pati aur aakhon se aansoo nikalte rehte hai. mujh mei itni samaj hai ki es tarah krna galat hai pr mei control nhi kr pa rhi. jb wo mere saath baat krte to postive ho jati pr jb wo chle jate hai to negtive ho jati ho. plz plz plz mujhe jeena hai plz koi raasta dikha do. i love him frm my soul heart i cnt live. bahut pain hoti hai.. koi unko ye samjha do ki wo jo keh ya kr rhe hai wo practically shayad sahi ho pr kisi ki zindgi na rhe aise wo kabhi sahi nhi ho skte. plz plz koi raasta dikhaye..

Sbse badi problem ye hai ki jab ap kisi ko itna pyaar krte hai ki uske k liye sari zindgi dene ko tayar hai hr sacrifice krne k liye tyar hai pr wo insaan es ehsaas ko samaj nhi pa raha. Wo glti kr raha aap ose rokna chahte hai. Pr wo samaj nhi pa raha aur galat soachne lgne lg jata hai. Wo aapko aviod krta hai aur puchne pr manta bhi nhi. Aapke pass os se double problems. Aap osse bahut jayada weak ho phir bhi aap itne efforts kr k ose khushiya dena chahte ho. Aur wo khushiya maan hi na raha ho. Uski har galti ko aap sahi krte chale jao. Aur wo aapko har sahi pr bhi galat krta jaye aap phir bhi ose apni soul se pyar karo. Uski har baat maano puri dedication k saath. Pata ho ki wo nhi aayege phir bhi baar baar un rahoo ko dekho aur soacho ki wo aa rahe hai aur wahi aap k jeene ka sahara ho. Aap pyar nibhana chahte ho aur wo kahe k pane ka naam pyar nhi. Aap hawao ka rukh bhi unki taraf krna chahte aur aapko saans bhi nhi lene dete. Aap dard mei bhi unke liye muskuro aur wo muskraye es liye k sb kuch theek hai hame unki jarorat nhi. Kaise samjaye unhe ki hm nhi jee skte unke bina.. Koi to help karo plz plz plz...

Hi Dear Friend,


Ma'am, rishte dekhne aur shadi hone mein bohot faasle hain. Agar ek baar ki daant se, ya ek baar inkaar se woh darr gye hain toh phir koi matlab hi nahi banta iss rishte ko aage badhane ka. Aise bhi log hote hain jo apne pyaar ke liye saalon saal ladte rehte hain.

Agar aapse ek rishte mein judne ke bawajood bhi woh dusri ladkiyon ko dekh rhe hain, toh zaahir si baat hai, unka aapse shadi karne ka koi irada hi nhi hai. Kyunki agar woh aapse shadi karne ke liye zara bhi serious hote, toh ya toh woh aapne parents se apki baat karte ya dusri ladkiyon ko shadi ke liye dekhne nhi jate.

Koshish karein unse baat karne ki aur unhe samjhane ki, ki woh agar apse shadi karna chahte hain toh unhe jaldi hi uss baare mein soch kar koi kadam uthna padega.

Agar unke parents unke liye rishte dekh rhe hain, toh saare rishton ko ek ke baad ek namanzoor karein. Jab woh saare rishton ko namanzoor karenge, toh zaahir si baat hai unke parents iski wajah poochenge. Tab woh apni baat unke saamne rakh sakte hain aur unhe shadi ke liye tayar kar sakte hain, unhe convince kar sakte hain.

Maine ab unke kisi relative se baat ki hai. Usne mujhe postive response diya hai ki mei tension na lo wo mere liye kuch jarror karegi aur unke jis sister ki baat ghar pe maani jati hai wo unse bhi baat karegi. Par mujhe ye samaj nhi aa raha kaise unhe practically convince kiya jaye; kyuki wo pyaar ki baat consider kr skte hai pr unhe mere liye full negtivity rahegi aur mei sidhe baat kiye bina pehle koi aisi situation create krna chahti ho jisse wo mere liye postive soache aur maane aur uske baad unse baat karu. Pr mujhe samaj nhi aa raha ye kaise karu??? Please koi way suggest kijiye???

Hi paripk,



Dekhiye, aapke ander jo bhi achchaiyan hain, jo bhi positive qualities hain, woh aapke boyfriend achchi tarah jante hain aur wohi ek aise insaan hain jo aapke ander ki saari achchi baaton ko, saari positive qualities ko apne gharwalon ke samne rakh sakte hain. Ismein, mere hisab aapko kuch bhi karne ki zarurat nhi hai, abhi. Haan, agar unke ghar wale aapse milne ke liye tayar hote hain, tab aap zarur kuch kar sakti hain unko impress karne ke liye.

Abhi thoda sa waqt dijiye aur jo ho rha hai, usse haal filhaal hone dijiye. Pyaar, mohabbat ki baat hai....yeh toh lekar chahiye gharwalon ki taraf se problems pakke se ayengi.

Thoda sa khud par bharosa rakhiye, thoda sa kismat par aur thoda ooparwale par, waqt ke sath jo bhi hoga, achcha hi hoga.