1 wife and counting...

can anyone help....
i met adj some months ago and we have spoken with each other whenever bumping into one another, just recently our friendship developed further to him poping round to mine. he behaved with both restraint and respect by not trying to get into my underwere! lol ;D
in past conversations he has mentioned that he wants to marry and have more children, he is already married with one child, i asked him about this and he said that as a muslim he can have upto 4 wifes and that once he meets and gets to know someone special he hopes that he would marry them. call it womens intuition but i have been getting the strongest notion that he has set his radar on me, that in itself i have no problem with as he seems very nice and i like getting to know him. the problem i face and hope people here can help me with is that if he does ask me to be his wife in the months/years ahead or even if we are only destaind to be friends i would like to better understand the pros and cons of a multi marriage/family works so that i can make the right choice for me in future or to better understand him as a friend. i was not brought up with my asian heritage and he has been teaching me little bits but this is gonna take me some time to get my head round. any advice welcomed and if anyone is married to more than one wife please would you advise

Where he lives and where is his family right now ?

him and his parants wife and child live not too far from me

Hi,
Yes muslims can marry and have 4 wifes at a time, but my friend is it advisable for you? how about that person's wife, will she accept. The best thing in this situation for all concerned will be that you distance yourself from him.

find someone else

As Kamal and Farida said, move away from him otherwise you will embarrass a lot of people including his wife and children and not to forget your parents and his parents.

His wife will always be in the picture... and it does not seem to care how his wife will feel about this and as a women why would you wanna do this to a another women! even though its OK but do you even think how those women feel....they have no say!
put yourself in the shoes...

I agree with Msl, and also he may not fulfill his promise to you. What then? think about it

well dear u know what i think all the ppl above r right.........he says he can hav more than one marriage but what bout his wife when she comes to know this is not a game this is life u need to be practicle u just can't do this dear u can get some other guy but what will his wife do........u tell me is it acceptable to u if after marrying u he wants to marry one more time as he can have 4 wives.......right nd if at all he marries u after having done with one marriage already he should have that financial condition that he can handle responsibilities of his children his wife ur responsibilities the children he'll be having from u it's quite complicated dear it's better u stay away from him or u'll ruin ur life his wife's nd even children's life..........ask him these questions nd u'll get to know everything...................

Do what your Heart says but do remember once you have done this you cannot undo it so better give time to this relationship before concluding anything. And as azhar told, think if he afterward want to use his rights and want to marry for 3rd and 4th time then..??

We can suggest but you have to decide..

Hey wolfsprit, you are getting many well meaning comments from members, do comment

In this situations you don't use your heart......use your ''brains''!..consider other people's feelings and that's the part you use your heart....