He broke up with me, I still love him

Hi, it's a long story here and I need help. I'll try to keep it short. Your views are all welcome.

So I met him a year ago and we got talking. Initially, it was all arguing and debating about intellectual stuff like Quantum Physics, stereotypes etc. We found each other to be smart enough to talk to. We really got along well. His friends were suggesting him to get together with me because they thought we'll be perfect together. To rub it in their faces he asked me out and we discussed the pros and cons of 'us' happening. We hadn't ever considered it before but when we did, we were surprised at how good we'll be together. The only con was that he was moving to another city for college so it'd be LDR for us. Yet, we gave it a shot. Things were great! Our first kiss told us we were meant to be together forever like the souls connected. It went like that for a while until we started fighting. Misunderstanding cropped up and the distance was overwhelming. Then toward the end of November 2015, I was stressed out and went into a sort of depression phase. Things got bad between us and we were both vulnerable. I was miserable and he worried himself too much about it. We fought even more. He got too busy after that, I was getting desperate for some answers and troubled him too much with it. He didn't pay any attention to it and let the relationship take a back seat. We were farther than ever and things needed sorting out. It never happened.

He turned up in the last week of December and told me his feelings for me had died. He said he was getting negativity from me and that we were never 'the one' for each other. When I proposed that we should probably give it a try in the future because true love doesn't die, he just said that when such things ended for him, it was final.

The thing is that we were so deep in love. When we were together in person, the world went to hell and it was only the two of us there, we could never stay away from each other even for a second. We knew it in our hearts that we'd be together till the end. We wrote deep stuff to each other expressing ourselves, something we never thought we could do! We saw a side of ourselves we never knew existed. We couldn't even bear the idea of seeing each other with someone else. It was the first relationship for both of us and it was love. We saw our futures together. He couldn't think of having kids with anyone but with me. It was all bright and wonderful and we were strong. How does he say it died and died forever? Does true love ever die? Hell, how many people can one see their future with? I couldn't even imagine having a soul mate, I never believed in all this stuff and there he turned up, proved me wrong. Ever since it's only always been about having him or nobody else. That's not because I'm some stubborn, obsessed moron (well, I sure am stubborn), but it's because I have a strong feeling we're to be together. And let's face it, how many people can you see your future with? How many people can you feel this way for? How many people make all that difference in your life and complete it? That's how I've felt about him, and I know at some point he felt this was about me too. How does that change so easy and just dies like that? Was it all situational? I agree he was getting that negativity from me back then, but that was because I was full of it when I was depressed. Doesn't mean it'll stay forever.

I don't know what is your age or what kind of person you are but the way you have written , I can say that you are pretty mature and thoughtful person.

I can also understand your situation but as you asked, how he can say that his feelings died for you.. all forever. May be what here happened is that you were expecting a lot from him or were demanding a lot from him however you completely ignored his feelings or his state of mind, it is very much possible at that phase where you said you were in depression.

You know, when people say they are in love and they found their soulmate, actually they are referring to a person who cares about them more than himself. My guess is that there was a time when he thought that you don't care for him, though you love him but its just obsession but not love. For you, your own pain and your suffering are above everything, even his pain.

You also said you are stubborn, so again its very much possible that there were events when he was expecting something from you but you were so much busy in arguing (as you said you were looking for some answers) that you never saw them. If that had happened then I am sure you broke him deep inside and hence he took decision to make distance from you . I am also sure it was not easy for him but situation may had made this relationship a burden on him.

In my opinion, damage has been done. To fix it back, you have to show that you are a responsible person as a lover, as a soulmate. No emotional torture, infact being logical at this moment will help you. First try to assess your mistakes, accept them as a responsible person and if possible, make him understand that there were situation when you had lost yourself and was polarised in your thoughts.

Now you are the only person who knows better than anyone else. I may have not assessed your situation properly but if I am right, then you know what to do now.

Hi Bhavya,

Can understand the situation what you are going through. Also don't think that break up is not the end of the world. Hold on and try engaging in other stuffs.

Hello,
You both are young, and have known about the flowery aspect of love initially, true love isnt just abt everything nice, just like with life there are ups and downs, hurdles, obstacles, depends on each partners personality,character and their compatibility etc etc.
Since it is first love and relationship and hence had not have experienced life, its ups and downs, had only noted the sweet aspects of love, and when there was difference of opinions, there were hard arguments which made this relationship sour and negative. Relationships are quite complex and take lot of adjustments unfortunately on both sides, there will be arguments, but one has to bring it down as much as possible by different means.
Either one has to keep calm when the emotions are rising, and when the other person is calm, the matter should be put in the nicest way possible. Remember, that this is not a debate abt physics, but sometimes to win the battle and lose the fight(atleast at that time when the other is upset and highly emotional) it is ok, it all depends on what one wants. One can always put it in writing, but read it again when one is calm before giving it to the person. When one is calm, there are many things one would not say as opposed to when being highly anxious and emotional. Anyway, it takes two to tango.

And long distance relationshiips are hard by itself. Knowing both your faults and addressing these issues to make amendments, you both can talk to each other with respect and calmness (trying to avoid arguments) and see if you can give each other another chance.
wish you the best,
Dr.Sky
http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ds-dr-sky.html