Do you think its love - with all these fights, issues in relationship ?

this guy proposed me in a very spl way. d best i cud think, at the time i ws nt ready fr commitment, bt when i saw his tears fr me n how hard times he's facing, n may be he needs me. i fel fr him.
since the same time we're facing problems in our relationship. i helped him a lot. sacrificed a lot in his bad times. bt nowadays, we keep doubting each other's love. n we both become nasty n abuse each other . then we both feel bad that how cud u say such things to me. my parents wud never allow me to marry him. then i think why to fight with my family fr this nasty guy. n he starts thinking that why to cry fr such a bad girl, she doesn't knw commitment. she cant maarry anybody. then again nasty fights. they keep on going. lastly we stop talking to each other. then we dnt talk .. den it becomes immpossible. we call each other we discuss out. quiting doesn't seem fine. we talk few days fine. we again fight nasty. we again cry.
my concerns are
we've not brought out good in each other. its always fights. no happiness. i feel we'l never be happy togeter. i dnt find the relationship is going anywhere. i feel that i'm sacrificing a lot n i'l always hav to. we both hav different thinking.. olmost opposite.as in i like more social n he's more into himself. i like the world around us nd he hates this world. other than me he only thinks of money nd i think of happiness.i realy hav to cut down all my thoughts. the whole energy goes into making things up. fixing them up.

the only positive thing i find is: he'l never leave me. cuz thats just not posible fr him. nd he thinks of family with me so. all his dreams are there with me.

is it all normal. can we think of marriage. shd i go fr it. i dnt knw.

Hi Friend,



Please go through the whole of your problem statement that you have written above and tell me what word do you see make its presence more often ? Let me tell you, its nothing but " I ". There are very few places where you have used " WE " symbolizing both of you as ONE.

Your whole relationship has come to a point where you both are looking into it with respective individual's interest. The whole thing goes around, " I do this, I do that ", which is not appreciable. Try to look into this relationship as one...as WE and not I.

Fights, quibbling, clash of ego, differences of ideas and ideologies is a part of relationship and when such things happen on regular basis, people have this tendency to doubt on each other and question their motives of being into a relationship. the same is what's happening with you. Instead of thinking about breaking this relationship and doubting on each other's love capabilities and feelings for other, you guys should work in a direction of making things turn out in a positive manner. I am not asking you to compromise or adjust even when you feel he is wrong, but I want you guys to admit to the fact that you both cannot live apart from each other and that anyhow, howsoever bad fights you're having, you guys have to make things work out at the end of the day. Sometimes, you say sorry, sometimes he should say it.

This is not the time to break off from this beautiful relationship. Remember, its very easy to let things slip off your hands, than holding them back to you. You can break off in a minute, but it will take you alot of time, patience and efforts to build trust on someone new.

I am saying all this because I still see some hope. So, work for it. Do give us updates and we will let you know when its the right time to call off.

Also, don't get into a relationship until and unless you are very much sure that you LOVE the other person. Just because he is going through a bad phase in his life and needs your sympathy is not a reason enough to get into a relationship. But now, since you are in a relationship already, lets not break it and try to mend things up for a better future of both of you.

Nothing better I can say what Pulkit said but as you said, he can't leave you then what else you want, you have a person who wants to be with you forever and you are in doubt whether to continue relation or not ?

If he is always behind money then he must be not satisfied with his current professional status, may be he is trying to earn hard in order to give you better future, everyone one loves a good life but sometimes priorities changes. His current priority could be earning big for both of yours future.

Please try to see the positive side of relation, fights are there because you both know each other very well now and now you both have high expectations with each other and when there are lots of expectations then there is always problem.

Hii,
I have gone through all the post and the problem here doesn't seem to be the fights and quibbles, but it is you both who are just wanting to concentrate on ua personal interest i.e; I and in a relationship there is no place for either I or He its We which matters in a relationship.
Fights and quibbles are a part of every relationship, that doesn't mean u shud doubt or think of cutting off a relationship.
Well, talking of priorities, yes as savera described priorities do chamge with the changing nature of responsibilities, and the guy matters u the most and that is why he is working harder to get more money to keep u happy and safe, apart from this, u mentioned both of u can't live seperated, and that itself says that u both love and compliment each other.
Now here is what i would like to suggest you to do, to bring positive changes and everlasting happiness in ua relationship:
Rather than finding faults and doubting on each others love, you may try out these experiment for a period of one month and then see a change in the behavior and give a feedback to me ok here it goes:
Whenever u are with or around him, make him feel special and always tell him that u love him dearly, and appreciate all his positive points and positive things aboit him and his family that makes him so special person in ua life and which makes him hold the top position on ua list of priorities.
2. Whenever u feel like going out with ua guy to spend some quality time and enjoy the special moments, rather than asking him reluctantly for granting ua wish, you may ask him very lovingly and dearly, "baby Don't u think we haven't been out for a date from many days due to ua busy schedule this days ofcourse I know very well how much u love me and u r dearly working hard for securing our future and i love u for that, but baby along with that would it not be nice if we together spend some quality time qith each other." always use the words which start with describing him at first and let him know that he is ua priority and once u touch his egoistic side he can't refuse u to take on a date..... Don't get disheartened or start complaining if he doesn't show interest in going out, rather try to create that magic at ua home itself, u may enjoy a candle light dinner in ua home itself and spend some time in private to know each others likes and dislikes, which will ultimately make ua relationship more beautiful and lovely.
Once u start using this techniques on a daily basis without much complaints in them u will automatically see the change in his behavior too.
Because every change that u want to have take place in ua outer world will always have to be first developed within, because outer world is the projectory of the thoughts that u keep inside ua self, for example,
If its complaints and cries abt ua relationship most of the time that u have for ua relationship, bingo, u will get what ua inner world is thinking about and that is more and more of the fights, quibbles and differences in ua relationship
But, if u continue to dwell on whatever, that is just positive about ua partner and ua relationship, again bingo one u will always feel happy about having such a nice partner and a successful relationship and once that is what u are getting from inside world, the manifesto of it would be seen in ua outer world even doubled and tripled.
Good luck for ua relationship and future.