I am looser in Love- Can't forget first love and best friend loves me

I love a guy frm almost past 11 yrs n M 21 right now. My problem is that this guy dnt luv me and no matter what, i never forget him. Even though i try with all my might. We were in the same school, and since school's over, i've kind of stopped living. 3 yrs after school, he contacted me. We talked a lot n finally i officially 'proposed' him...evn though he already knew it. He hasn't said anything much. After that he retuned back to his college n nvr called bck.
My best friend is now in luv with me. I really like him n we care for each other genuinly but m not able to feel the same way for hi m. Once i tried n badly failed...we broke up in a week cuz of me. I dnt wana hurt him again.
I dnt understand how ppl really move on or think of someone else cuz i never succeeded at it. I dont knw what to do. Wait for my love to return,or accept my friend. Or else keep on being single but for how long?!

You were in love with someone from at of 11 years ?
Here decision is very simple, Love one that loves you !

So here clearly that first guy was your first love but not the real love, here your friend loves you, I don't know what level of attachment was there with your first guy but does he care for you anymore ?

Hello shadez,

I really liked this word "officially proposed". :cool:

Okay now coming to your problem. The problem is very simple and easy to handle. I don't know why you are hyping it so much and blaming yourself for all this happened. Remember, you are never a looser in love. Its just that, sometimes we don't get what we want, sometimes things don't work out in the way we want them to, sometimes we are not able to ignite that love and care feeling in the other person's heart for us and sometimes things just don't work out because there is something better lined up for us to accept. So, its my request to leave this feeling of guilt you have within you and don't call yourself a looser.

Now, moving further, the solution to this problem lies within you.

You gonna tell me now what do you EXACTLY want ???

Option 1 : Your 11 year old love whom you are not able to forget, who never loved you, who never ever paid any interest to you and your feelings and who has absolutely no idea about your where abouts and he doesn't care about it even.

Option 2 : Your present best friend who loves you, who cares for you, who believes in you and who will be affected the most if something happens to you.


Okay, let me simple things out for you. Try considering this :

You have 2 guys, both are your great friends and both are going to die the very next moment. The first guy loves you but you don't love him( you don't hate him too). The second guy is the one whom you love but he doesn't loves you( he doesn't hates you either). You are given a chance to save the life of just ONE of them. Who's life would you save?? Make a wise choice.

See things are pretty simple in your case. As Yahoo said, Love one that loves you. But I don't want to take a decision under some force. Its your life and its you who's going to handle it the way you want. I can just assist you in making a decision.

The first guy you are taking about, the one whom you love, is the one who never gave any considerations to your feelings. What you feel for him from past 11 years hardly matters to him. He left you without any word shows you hardly matter to him. He came back in your life after 3 years of college became friends with you again, hanged out, had fun but didn't respond well to your "official proposal". See, it gives a clear cut indication that he is hardly interested in you.


The second guy that you have talked about who is your best friend is a person who loves you, he cares for you, has some deep considerations in his heart for you. Moreover being your best friend he perhaps understands you the best possible way and still neglecting the negatives in you he loves you and want to be with you. So, what is the problem in accepting his love ?

Further, you accept that you like him, you care for him and that you have considerations in your heart for him. Somewhere still deep within you want to be with him and you once gave it a try. So, it clearly shows that you love him but its just that you are not able to forget the first guy in your life.

You need to understand the person you loved has left you and there is zero possibility of him coming back into your life. Moreover, you cannot force someone to love you. Its a feeling that develops naturally and vanishes off naturally. All you got to do is, ALLOW YOURSELF TO FORGET HIM AND MOVE ON. Understand that you are wasting your time and your life for a person who never ever felt the way you feel for him.

All you need to do is accept this reality as soon as possible, understand the gravity of this problem and allow yourself to move further. You have actually conditioned yourself to think about him and things related to you every now and then. You have actually conditioned yourself to believe on false hopes and based on them you have started taking decisions, which is obviously wrong.


So, try to understand and analyse the whole problem. Try to forget him and try to embrace the love knocking at your door.

Hope you take your decision wisely. I wish you Luck !!!

pls let him go if u don't love him,let him have chances to love others.

hi...........

aming yourself for all this happened. Remember, you are never a looser in love. Its just that, sometimes we don't get what we want, sometimes things don't work out in the way we want them to, sometimes we are not able to ignite that love and care feeling in the other person's heart for us and sometimes things just don't work out because there is something better lined up for us to accept. So, its my request to leave this feeling of guilt you have within you and don't call yourself a looser.

Now, moving further, the solution to this problem lies within you.

You gonna tell me now what do you EXACTLY want ???

Option 1 : Your 11 year old love whom you are not able to forget, who never loved you, who never ever paid any interest to you and your feelings and who has absolutely no idea about your where abouts and he doesn't care about it even.

all the best........:o

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shiv00

hi...........

aming yourself for all this happened. Remember, you are never a looser in love. Its just that, sometimes we don't get what we want, sometimes things don't work out in the way we want them to, sometimes we are not able to ignite that love and care feeling in the other person's heart for us and sometimes things just don't work out because there is something better lined up for us to accept. So, its my request to leave this feeling of guilt you have within you and don't call yourself a looser.

Now, moving further, the solution to this problem lies within you.

You gonna tell me now what do you EXACTLY want ???

Option 1 : Your 11 year old love whom you are not able to forget, who never loved you, who never ever paid any interest to you and your feelings and who has absolutely no idea about your where abouts and he doesn't care about it even.

all the best........:o

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Yes, Shiv00..is there anything you want to say or add to it ??

Well....thank u so much!!
Its rely amazing dat sombody actually took out so much time just for answering me. M rely grateful:-)
N thanx for all those explanations. But u know wot, my first luv "who doesn't care for me" messaged me today after 4 months. Just to know how i m. This is wot happens wid me...life can't be more filmy then this:-D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shadez

Well....thank u so much!!
Its rely amazing dat sombody actually took out so much time just for answering me. M rely grateful:-)
N thanx for all those explanations. But u know wot, my first luv "who doesn't care for me" messaged me today after 4 months. Just to know how i m. This is wot happens wid me...life can't be more filmy then this:-D

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Hi,

Its good that you received a message from him after so long and you must feel happy about it but this activity is not enough to convince me on the point that he loves you. try to be friends with him, if its easier for you to be one, else let him know he doesn't matter to you at all now.

You have your whole life in front of you and if I am not mistaken you must be studying or employed to some firm. I suggest, you should concentrate on your goals rather than wondering about your old love because it will not lead you anywhere.

Thats all I can say. Thank you for visiting the forum. You can very well come up again to this forum for any help.