He lied to me about talking to girls online, the trust is broken, what should I do?

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, we used to be happy and we went on and off 3 times before, but we couldn't stand being away from each other. So we always end up back together
I always had trust issues as he normally doesn't talk to girls that much unless he's hooking up with them, and that's what made me feel suspicious every time he chats with girls on fb while we're together, and because of that we fought a lot.
lately i found out he deleted the conversations he had with the girls because i had his fb password, I knew about it because I opened his fb while he was chatting and he told her to give him his number and if there's a chance they could meet up, I confronted him about it and he said thet he deleted the conversation because he knew I would make a big deal out of nothing and that he is allowed to talk to girls and that I was paranoid and overly jealous, I couldn't stand that he lied to me and hidden the conversation or maybe conversation(s), who knows, so I told him I can't be with someone that I cannot trust and we ended it. after that I was just curious to find out what he did more, I found out he had sent inappropriate pictures of him to a girl from his email.
We had another fight and we ended it for good

That was 3 weeks ago, I truly love him and I know he does
He used to be an absolutely amazing guy and everyone would tell me how respectful he is, but the last few months were like a tornado for his character, he's 21 (almost 22) he started smoking and was so depressed because he had some issues that were affecting him negatively physically and emotionally, I don't know if he did what he did because of what he's going through or is it a non-negotiable situation, should I go back to him and try work things out and help him get back on track, because I know he needs me and i need him too, or should I let him go and move on?
I know he's suffering like I am but I just can't forget about all that and have no self respect and throw myself at him after what he did, I need him to appreciate me and work hard to gain my trust again, but at the same time I can't stand being away from him.
I need advice please, I really do love him and I can't imagine being with someone else. What should I do?

Hello Manos22,

Well, I believe the only person who can answer this query of yours is nobody other than you, yourself.

Analyse the whole situation from the start.

You have just one issue with him, that is, you don't like him to go near to other girls, talk to them or be friends with them. Somewhere this possessiveness is good for a relationship but here, you need to understand, being in a relationship DOES NOT mean that you interfere with someone's very personal space. I am saying the word "VERY personal space" because there are instances when a person, howsoever close he/she may be, will not allow you to interfere with his very personal life and interests. Remember, personal freedom is loved by all and if you try to violate someone's personal freedom( even if he is your boyfriend), you will find yourself in soup.

So, firstly, involve with him but also give him sometime to enjoy his OWN life. Being in a relationship does not mean that he has to live with you, for you and by you 24*7. Somewhere, I feel, you are putting yourself too much into his own life. So, silently maintain some distance.

Secondly, the trust part, which I feel is lacking between both of you. You need to understand, if your boyfriend is chatting, talking, hanging out with some of his females friends that doesn't mean he is not committed to you. He is, but the fact is, he has his friend circle also which obviously, he cant leave.
So, if you have any insecurity with his female friends, you can very well plan a hangout with them so that you can get to know how his friends are and don't feel insecure about loosing your boyfriend.

Third and the most important part, Since you both had a break up - patch up situation for almost 3 times in the near past, it has actually created in his mind a doubt on whether this relationship will ever work out or not. See, the least the differences between two individuals in a relationship, the better the relationship is. So, the more you fight with him on pretty issues and question his trust, the more distance you will create for yourself.
Being in love actually demands true faith, respect , dedication for your partner but here I can't see anything working out. Constantly question him on his character, doubting him on his deeds is actually weakening your relationship with him. I am really sorry to say this, but perhaps what I feel is, you are actually creating this suffocation for him to breathe and live freely by constantly asking him about his friends and seeking into his profile. The reason why he is involved in this online chatting and dating stuff should itself work as an alarm for you that something, somewhere is not working in your case. He needs some love and care from you which obviously he is not getting. So, he is involving himself in this chatting and dating stuffs, else why would he sit online and chat to girls when he is having you in his life. So, try to avoid this. Instead of doubting his character, take him out, enjoy with him, try to be frank so that he can develop his confidence on you. The lack of his confidence on you is a prime reason why he is not telling you everything that is happening in his life. Because he knows, the moment he wil share something about his female fiends with you, you will doubt his character and his feelings for you, which obviously he doesn't want. So, try to avoid all this

The fact that he has given you his Facebook password is enough for you to believe that he is true and that he will not do anything bad. So, avoid this too much of interference in his life and give him a chance to make you develop your trust on him.

Also, the point where you mentioned that he send some girl his pictures which was inappropriate according to you, all you can do is tell him clearly that this is something which you cannot accept and if he continues to do this, you will perhaps never be able to trust him. Talk to him on this and also let him know, while chatting online, he should firstly, not let his personal details go public and even if he is doing it, he should make himself doubly sure that the person with whom he is sharing these details is a genuine person or not because it can land him into big trouble which he cannot even imagine of.

Try to work out and I am sure you both will end up making it work out beautifully .

Manos, Pulkit already gave you very good answer, let us know what do you think about it and what is your next step ?