east meets west : don't want him to propose just to please his family

I am a foreigner of non-Indian descent living in India for the past four years. My boyfriend's parents are from India but he was born and raised his whole life in Europe. He's mid-30s and I am in my late 20s.

I know his parents want him to get married soon and are OK with him having a love marriage, and with marrying a non-Indian and I think he feels ready to start a family too. Thing is that I need a bit more time before making such a commitment because I don't want to make a mistake or rush into something that is for the rest of my life! I think he agrees that we need more time first, but at the same time he feels really ready to start this next chapter in his life.

So I was showing him a ring I bought and he jokingly mimicked placing a ring on my wedding finger.and then asked how I would react if he did do that for real. I responded with a joke saying "depends on what the ring looked like" to brush it off for now. But I know it is on his mind.

His parent are visiting soon and I know there will be a lot of pressure, so I am a little nervous. My fear is that he might propose more to please his family and get on with it rather than out of a sincere desire to be with me forever. As a westerner and a very very independent one at that, I am unsure that I want such a situation!

And his parents are coming to visit very soon and I know the pressure will be on as soon as they step off the plane! He's the youngest and the last in his family to not be married yet and his parents are getting older.

How do I proceed? Part of me wants to just encourage him to get a "arranged" marriage because maybe it's what's bes for him, but if we do decide to marry I want it to be because of us and not because it's the right time or whatever. At the same time, I wouldn't mind considering marriage, but I just need to be sure it's because of us and not because of them or his own timing. I do understand that in most Indian families, marriage involves a lot more people than just the bride and groom.

Any advice?

well hi dear nd ur welcome to ETI..........my name is azhar nd u can cal me AJ it's ma pet name..........comin to ur prob.........if u r not ready for this don ever get involved into marriage right now coz there's one thing if u r not ready mentally u won't be able to adjust urself comfortably with him.........take ur time coz if u r in two minded decisions then u'll always be confused.............so think u r in ur late 20'ies u said nd he is 30 his age is quite in that state where he needs to get married so ur decision will surely matter to him nd his family.........so maybe you can talk to him bout this coz havin a word wid his family can create unnecessary issues which r not at all needed.............u both have to live together so u both need to decide parents should be involved coz they r the one to hold u if at all nething goes wrong so overall tell him to make his parents understand that u need time or u can also make his parents understand how imp this issue is but one thig can happen wid this is that they might try nd think of movin on coz the ur guy's age is into mid 30'ies so they might hurry in such a situation these r the possibilities that might happen at this point......................do ask more queries nd we'll surely help u out of ur prob so don worry nd just be kool nd think over it nd most imp talk to ur partner what u feel unless u speak up he won't understand what u think k..................so u take care may GOD BLESS U..........waiting for ur reply......