Hi... I am in big problem. I got married before 5
month. At our first night my wife told me that she
had an affair, but from last 4 year it is over and
she not even met him.She told me that her
boyfriend was muslim. we are Hindu so I am in
anxiety about muslim boyfriend of my wife. She
loves me passionately.Please help me ... what I
should do please...please..please
Hi I am 30 year boy I had married last year. at our first night my wife told me about her past. she said it has gone before 4 years. but I always scared that does she deceiving to me or does she lying. I asked her she said that she loves me lots she cant live without me. but I always think that if she is telling lie. she takes oath of our unborn child even she is ready to polygraph test. please suggest me what should I do. please please please help me
Dear Mr. Stressed_person,
I am sure you asked her on first night about her past, that was one of the classic mistake people do to ruin their marriage. Do you know you can't control past life of anyone, specially the person you never knew. I am sure it was an arrange marriage so you only got to know this girl very recently.
So, you made a mistake asking her about her past life, however she also made mistake and told you genuinely about her past life. You both are stupid, do you know why she told you the truth, because she is truely devoted to you now as a wife and you know it. Since it is said that there must be no secret between husband and wife, she is going by that rule. If she really had any bad intention ie. about continuing her past affair, she would have never told you about it.
Now be an intellectual person, understand that it was her past and you are her present. And btw, tell me genuinely , you are 30, you never had any intense affair in past ? Are you still into that affair ? Hopefully , being a good guy you have forgotten your past and have decided to give all your love , your present and your future to your wife.
My suggestion is that respect her feelings, her authenticity and love her without doubts. You know if you give trust, you get back it automatically, and if there are doubts.. life becomes hell.. specially a married in India where people get trapped in invisible prison.
Now its upto you, make your life hell (even hers) or enjoy it to full and prepare a good future your new upcoming member (your unborn child).
Good luck.
she is agree to polygraph test to prove that she is not deceiving me. but even why I cant belive her I cant understand
Dear, you should stop talking to her about it, the more you discuss this, more pain you are giving to her. Ofcourse you are also causing pain to yourself.
You were not there in her past life, there is no way you can decide one's past. Your doubt on her are pointless. What about you, is that you never had any affair in past ? Please answer that , did she ask this to you and you answered authentically or you lied ? Perhaps.. you are not able to believe her because you have already lied to her ?
You should have faith in her, her past life is gone and you are her present and future, even if she had affair in past, its no more there, you know about it because she told you genuinely. If you can't digest her loyalty then you should see doctor before its too late as your worry is showing traits of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Dear,
I have read your problem but to be frank everyone will have his or her past.I m a bit striaght forward girl So frankly asking even u might have a past its not necessary that just becoz of anyone's past life u need to spoil your present and future.if you both have really excepted each other then trust each other.have faith on each other .And no need to go through any of the Test.There is no problem I can see her but if you don't change your mentality then there might be a big problembetween you two.....So If u really want to do anything good for your relationship.....Move on with your present.All the very best..Happy Married Life
one more thing that we are hindu and that boy was muslim community. so thing give me lots of pain..please please help me
Sorry, we can't help you here as despite of repeated reminder to forgot about her past, you don't want to forget it. It was her past and now clearly we can see she is committed to you. Its quite evident that you are not a kind of person who actually listen to others. You have made your opinion, its now useless to discuss with others as you will never change.
Either see doctor or get some marriage counseling or keep it to yourself. We can't help if you don't want to help yourself.
Thanks
Request to admin, kindly lock this topic as I see it going no where. .