My Son's wife (daughter in law) fights and quarrels very often

in 2010, my son was engaged nd he left that girlnd married to punjabi in 2011.we did not match any horiscope nothing by the grace of God they got sweet twins baby boy nd baby girl but now they r quarreling every now nd then, that girl she is little sturbun nd dont have neet ness or dont no the household nd very very lazy with two children she cant cope up nd because of that they fight nd i m scared of that about children every now nd then she says i willleave children nd go away.....plz suggest us what todo nd how to do......very very much tensed. plz help me......they r staying in australia.hope u will understand my question.

thanking u ,



renu....

What is the reason behind by which your daughter in law has became so revoltry and sturbun i think their must be some reason, is your son suffering from any financial problem, or it could be anything. What is it?

Hi renupawan,

Thank You for writing to us.


Well on a very straight note, its a matter which can best be handled by your son and daughter-in-law together. Its not time for you to intervene or interfere with their personal lives.
Its very natural for a girl to feel bit awkward and uncomfortable soon after becoming a mother. For her things have changed drastically all of a sudden. Where there were only two of them, now there are four. Previously she had time for herself, her life and limited responsibility of her husband and parents. But now things have changed all of a sudden. Moreover, while she was expecting one kid, perhaps, she is blessed with two. So, for obvious reasons she might be feeling bit unusual and frustrated by sudden increase of responsibilities on her shoulders.

Better would be to talk to your son and ask him to speak to his wife and get an understanding of what the problem is and how it can be solved.
A husband can or rather should understand his wife in a way much better than others. Also, there should be a clear communication between the husband and wife on any issues faced by them. Let them sit and discuss the matter together and jump to a conclusion. Its not the time for parents to interfere because that might make the situation even more worse because, obviously, being a daughter-in-law she might not be able to open up to the parents very well. Let your son first have the clear understanding of the situation and then if he is not able to handle it, he can come to you.

Meanwhile, you can help the "just mother" girl to take care of her children and home together. Work can be divided among family members so that she is not burdened with everything. Things will sort out with time. All she needs is time to adjust to her newly attained motherhood.





I hope I have answered your problem to your satisfaction.

Correctly said by Pulkit,
Its the matter between husband and wife and you should not interfere or intervene in between them, let them solve their problem on their own, yes your daughter-in-law might have got frustrated with the sudden change of her life and also with the burden of increased responsibilities, all she can do is clearly communicate with her hubby about her problems so that they might arrive on some solution for it, just to tell here, that quarrelling might not solve the problem but will rise in their lives, tell them to discuss on this matter with patience and understanding to come up with better solutions, also what you can do here is you may help her to share her responsibilities by visiting their home and helping her with nurturing the children and also for the household activities but do not interfere in their personal matters to avoid more misunderstandings and fights between them