Want to get Parents acceptance on my love...No one like my love

It happens when i met her at my working place, got frndship, slowly we felt we r for each other, i proposed her, she said ok but at later stage. I spoke to her parents on the same day when she said yes, her parents accepted me very politely, she belongs to upper caste and even 8 months elder to me, but still they got accepted, now it was turn to convince my parents, i told and they slapped my love, no one in my family like me in love, they saying she is fat and elder, now its being 4 yrs, we r still struggling, she has reduced her weight to much slim, i m amazed to see her so slim, v r doin PhD in different places, but still meet and hv contact, v too had many fights bcause of this, but still i beg her to stick to this, she too wants me, its bcause of her parents compulsion of get married with some other proposals sje gets anger on me to do something, meanwhile my Dad demises, and my family put the blame on me for this, whenever i speak abt my love they poses Dad's condition on me, they even scolded her badly, no one like me loving her, but we cant live without each other,.... pls do tell us what to do...

You will have to marry her against parents will, it is because they have made their assumption about this girl and it looks that now they do not want to change it. She is slimmer now, tell them she can do anything for you and you can do anything for her. May be you need to emotionally blackmail your parents , ask them what about your own will, do they want you to suffer pain whole life if you marry someone else ?

Hello kparun07,

See, things have become bit difficult for you both now. Your family is not accepting your love for past 4 years and now because of your father's condition, things have become steep.

Firstly, you need to tell me what is the exact reason of your family not accepting her. I don't understand how can people make obesity a sole reason to disgrace love. Now when you say she has reduced alot, I think your family should accept her. So, the point here is to sit and talk to your family members and get to know the exact point of their disapproval. Also, I would like to know who all are there in your family ?

Secondly, you can do one thing more. Take a chance and ask your girlfriend's parents to initiate a talk with your family members and discuss the matter seriously. Its been four years and its a long time for a couple to get in love and settle things for themselves. So, I guess its time when you should involve her family in between and leave the matter on elders o discuss it. Let them talk and decide your fate.

Also, I would like to say, target someone in your family whom you consider close to you, a person with whom you share your joys and sorrow. Explain him/her the things and try to convince him. Perhaps he will be able to understand your situation well and can eventually support you at the time when both families meet and discuss upon the matter.

So keep trying and do let us know.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pulkit

Hello kparun07,

See, things have become bit difficult for you both now. Your family is not accepting your love for past 4 years and now because of your father's condition, things have become steep.

Firstly, you need to tell me what is the exact reason of your family not accepting her. I don't understand how can people make obesity a sole reason to disgrace love. Now when you say she has reduced alot, I think your family should accept her. So, the point here is to sit and talk to your family members and get to know the exact point of their disapproval. Also, I would like to know who all are there in your family ?

Secondly, you can do one thing more. Take a chance and ask your girlfriend's parents to initiate a talk with your family members and discuss the matter seriously. Its been four years and its a long time for a couple to get in love and settle things for themselves. So, I guess its time when you should involve her family in between and leave the matter on elders o discuss it. Let them talk and decide your fate.

Also, I would like to say, target someone in your family whom you consider close to you, a person with whom you share your joys and sorrow. Explain him/her the things and try to convince him. Perhaps he will be able to understand your situation well and can eventually support you at the time when both families meet and discuss upon the matter.

So keep trying and do let us know.

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Thanks Pulkit,

The reason they are stick is that Dad didnt agree, so they want to carry out whatever Dad said, they are now taking this point as the main reason of making us get separated. They are telling that its because of our tension only Dad has lost...., also in my Family, I have elder brother got recently a boy baby, that too on the exact day when Dad born, 28^th July, (Dad's DOB - 28th July & DOD - 27th July, we were so happy of getting dad back in the form of Kid. so i thought it would be better to talk to Parents again abt this now at this happy mood, but everything went in ruin. then I hv one younger sister, still to get married, shortly she too will get married, now out of them 3, no one is supporting me, no one at all.

Girl Parents doesn't know abt my Dad's loss still, but will that work if Girl Parents speak to my Family. I m afraid that my Parents will again shout at them for asking this, i dont know what to say, I love my Family alot, but why are they behaving like this i dont know. kindly give suggestions...

we both have visited many Temples to get GOD's blessings, have tried many ways, now after 4 yrs of struggling and pain I dont want to loose her same time not my Family too, we are struggling to get both Parents accepted and then enjoy our life happily with their blessings. My Sister-in-law doesn't know abt this, i dont know whether it will be right to bring her in this loop or not...

This is such a tough situation. One thing I personally believe in that you'll never find true happiness but hurting your family members. Then again, the girl seems to be really nice and willing to do things to convince your family; She is fighting for your love. I totally respect her.
What you should do is tell them that you wouldn't get married to anyone else if you can't marry her. Tell them your happiness lies in her. But there has to be a cool off period. Your dad has recently passed away so I'm sure everyone is still go through the "losing someone special" phase. It's not appropriate to ask them about your marriage with this girl right now. Give it some time. & then when things are back to normal (when everyone is over the loss of your father and has moved on from that phase), you can ask them again. In the meantime, tell your girlfriend about the situation you're undergoing. I'm sure she will understand.
If her family is pushing her to get married, you should tell them why you're delaying it. Make them trust you; that you'd never break her heart. Eventually that's the only thing parents want from a guy.

I would tell you not to rush into things. Even the right thing at the wrong time is a wrong thing!

Hello kparun07,

Well, I believe its actually the time for you to bring the girl's parents in between. Tell them the complete situation that your dad is no more and this is the reason for your family to disapprove your relationship with her. If her parents ever considered this relationship a serious affair, they will definitely look into the matter and will try to sort out things.

I can't say if it will work out 100% for you. Try to realize, you are going to convince someone who is stubborn and firm in his decision for past 4 years. If he or she hasn't agreed to it in past 4 years, let me be very honest in telling you this, there are steep chances for it happening all of a sudden. You family is against this proposal for past 4 years and just a few minutes talk between both the families can not solve the issue. But it is just a try to make things work out your way. Let your family understand how important this relationship for you is, let them realize how much efforts you both are putting in to make it successful.

See, on a true note, chances for things getting better is steep. All you can do is try and try. I am advising you to do this because in these 4 years you both must have tried to do every possible thing to convince your parents, except this. So, just give it a try because you never know what will work out for you. It will take sometime for your family members to think over it seriously and come to a decision but involvement of elders from her family will actually compel your parents to take things seriously.

The main target should be on the fact that, death of your father is a past now. Since its life and you all have to move on, it is practical for your family members to think in that way and not let your life ruin just because it was wish of your father. But, sir, let me tell you again, emotions play a very dominant role sometimes. So, there is a fair chance for your family to again put down this effort of yours just because they all are emotionally linked to your father and it was his wish that this marriage should not happen.

But still I would say give it a last try. If things happen then well and good. If they don't work out as you expect them to, then don't feel disheartened....its love..its destiny...and shit happens

When a boy and girl love each other.....
sometimes the girl doesn't understand it
sometimes the boy doesn't understand it
and when both understands it,
the world doesn't understand it.

So, dont feel low. Perhaps you have someone better waiting for you somewhere. Its NOT the end of life.



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