Wife asks husband to use condom, insulted husband complains to his mom

Hi, need help. A city bred educated girl had an arranged marriage a village bred guy working in an IT firm in city now. After 3 months of marriage the the guy was not interested in consummating the marriage. After she expressed her hurt to him, he said he ended more time, but didn't say why. He is an only son over protected by his family. Never left his family even for work.
Finally after much frustration the wife told her parents tat nothing happened between them. Parents were shocked and then told the guys parents too. They were shocked too. They could not ask their son directly so they kept telling they needed grandchildren soon. Now the wife was searching for a job and she didn't want a baby till she found it. She was confident tat she will get a job in a month. After the parents pressured the husband, he finally started reciprocating her feelings. Till tat moment he had not kissed or even hugged her or appreciated her in anyway. She was finally happy her husband was coming near her. Somehow they couldn't close the deal that night. The next day she showed her husband a condom packet which was complimentary she had got frm the honeymoon hotel they had stayed in abroad. She wanted him to use it.
He refused telling if she didn't want a baby he will control himself. She begged him to use it. Somehow he was very insulted by this. He went and told his mom. His mom told his dad and in turn told the wife's parents. All were shocked.
In laws scolded the wife for not being a good girl. Husband insulted wife badly even though she apologized profusely to in laws and husband though she knew she was not at fault. Husband refusing to sleep next to her even and not even look at her. Please advise what the wife needs to do. Wife is sleeping outside in the hall now. She is now living thr coz, her parents r scared of the society if she gets a divorce. She is now completely in the mercy of her in laws and husband.

Hello There,


The first line where you have mentioned

Quote:

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A city bred educated girl

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answers your question completely.

Either the husband is dumb( please omit the word) or too shy to confront to these situations. Taking him to a doctor or a marriage counselor will put the wife in alot of trouble. When he cannot restrict his bedroom secrets to himself, taking him to a marriage counselor or seek a doctor will arouse a lot of troubles for the wife. When such a thing has created a problem to an extend that he has disallowed his wife to share the bed with him, I believe doing anything will not work out.

I sincerely suggest, since the wife is newly married and nothing has happened so far, it would be better to end the marriage right here and right now. From all he is and he has been so far, it seems quiet clear that he shares everything to his family members and this nature of his will never go off ever. The person who will be in the trouble is the wife for nothing will be private to their lives.

Since, the wife is "educated", I guess she should take a step forward to end this marriage for she will always be sorry to herself for marrying this person for the rest of her life. This nature of his will never change ever and he will always put his parents on priority than the wife. Even if the wife is right, she will always have to face disagreements from her in-laws with full support from her husband. There is no point in continuing the marriage where the individual is told everything about his duties to be a good husband.

I believe feelings should come from within and reciprocation should be natural. Understand, its just the beginning so ending up right now will not be a trouble than leading your life in frustration just for the sake of society.