Think about your Parents point of view too in case of Love marriage

i read the solutions to the problems in this forum.m surprised to see that nobody is interested in the parents viewpoint about love.although mostly in india.there are stupid reasons for not allowing love marriages.but u just cant generalize this reason for all the parents.there are some other concerns also.they think about u.they have grown u up.they know u.and they know marriages and even life.and even love.they know it all.they have experienced it.they can see what u cnt see.

when u r in love with someone.its a gud thing.u shud try and try hard n very hard to be with that person.bt if ur parents are not at all agreeing on this matter.even after u hav tried a lot of times.its better u do as ur parents want.why to be stubborn .how can u forget the amt of love and care they have given u in their lifetime.they have invested whole their life in growing u up.giving u education.or whtever.and a person shd stop being selfish nd stop hurting their parents for a person they'v known only for few years.

life isn't easy.there wud be times when u'l need them the most .more than the person u are marrying..

its just that u shd think abt them also.they dnt want anything wrong fr u.they are concerned.they've seen life.they knw wht all u need in life.they just want the best for u.
and also think abt the age of ur parents..
50 years around.ur father is getting tired of working and stress.his eyes are losing the shine.he wants his son to start taking the responsibilities.its enough time that he has taken care of u.now its ur time.he wants his daughter to be as happy and safe as she ws with him.he's already crying in heart that her princess wud not be with her anymore.he's already losing the hope.at such a drastic age.apart from all this.in his personal thoughts.he's already thinking that.have i been a successfull person in my life. have i done good or bad in my life.
and ur mother.she's already miserable.she's going through menopause.mood changes.depression.she's already feeling miserable abt her life.how ur father treated her in old times or her in laws.she doesn't that for u...
and mumma's boy.u were.the most special one in her life.she wants a gud wife fr u. not that irritating one. someone who can take care of u as she did .she wants someone to think abt her , help her...

its their second childhood coming.u cnt be cruel to them.u can do all by ur own now.bt dat doesn't mean u'l make their life more miserable.

Love someone and marry also. bt not at the cost of ur parents happiness

THINK PROS AND CONS BOTH. BEFORE U COME TO THE FINAL DECISION.

Hello Mr. Guest,
The words written by you above are really touchy but it would have been more easier for me to talk to you if you have registered in forum. As, i can be familiar with your name.
the things, the emotions written by you are right at their place but never the less it depends on a person that how he seems his life to be.

Hi Dear Friend,



I don't know if I should comment on this or not since this ain't a problem statement. But I am writing it because I feel perhaps you have misjudged the nature of questions that appear on the forum regarding parent's intervention in marriages.

First and the foremost, I never suggest anyone to marry a person he/she loves on the cost of leaving his or her parents for him/her or even keeping them in dark because obviously, for all the reasons combined, they are your parents and they want the best for you.

Secondly, I and almost everybody would agree to the fact that all parents across India or globe are not the same. There are people who are good parents. They know their child well, believe in their child's decisions and is by enlarge not affected by rudiments of society's culture and norms because for them their child's own happiness is way important than "what people will think".

So, the point where you mentioned that the reasons are generalized for one and all, is completely wrong. We don't do that, we never did.

All the things that you have mentioned above regarding a caring father and loving mother, are acceptable and agreed upon and I assure you we also care for them and their emotions.



Let me tell you, we don't stand against our parents. I personally believe, we are nobody to hurt their emotions or even question them. We only question their motives, their believes, their thinking and ideologies which is affected more by what society and people will think than by the happiness of their own child.

Again, we never pointed out on any father or mother or even questioned their parenting capabilities. We doubted on their thinking and ability to understand their own child's concern.

Now let me tell you the complete scenario of out Indian Society. Please read the below lines :



Dear Daughter, you are free to fall in love with
whosoever you want to.

He will simply have to be of our:

1. Caste
2. Religion
3. Class
4. Ethnic group

He cannot be:

1. Of the same gotra
2. Of the same sex
3. Of a different food habit

He will have to have:

1. A good salary
2. A nice house

Lastly, he will have to be of our choice. Oh. You can't love a man of your parents' choice?
Don't worry, within no time you'll learn how to.

Given these things, he is allowed to trouble you, harass you, burn you, rape you, deny your basic rights



Think about it







Now, you should understand well, what motives, what thinking, ideas and ideologies I am talking about.

If you are a parent, provide me one good, justified, legal, sensible and adjustable reason for denying your son's or daughter's marriage proposal with the person he/she is in love with, trust me I would be the first one to refrain your child from marrying the person of his/her choice.

I very well understand that we can be wrong in choosing our soul mates, we are not experienced, we haven't seen the world around us, we don't know completely what's right and what's wrong for us and that is why primarily we refer our parents for our marriage. We value their emotions, their up-bringing, the efforts they have put into us, their sacrifices and that is why we CONVINCE our parents and not run away and get married.

We can do that, anyone can. By law, we have all the rights, but no we don't do because we understand what parents mean to us and we value them not less than Almighty.



Now, you tell me, are all the reasons given above justified so much so that you stop considering your own child's emotions, his or her happiness, his/her desires etc ? Is society more important and relevant than your own child ? Is your pride and ego more important than your child's happiness ?

I think your answer would be NO.



Thank You for bringing up this question on the forum. I would like every parent present here to view this thread and understand where things lie wrong.

I am open to further discussions. Lets join our hands and unite to stand against old customs which have badly affected our society.

Thank you pulkit, i really really applaud u for that brilliant answer. No child on this earth intentionaly wants to hurt his/ her parents neither anyone likes to lie. We know that our parents can never ever think ill about us. Its just that their vision is blocked by societal pressures and orhtodox ideoligies. we know they want best for us, we want their guidance and advice. But we have our feelings too. Where do the hell we should go with those feelings and pain when our own parents stop understanding us. They are the ones whom we have always looked forward to but when their ego blocks their love what should we do. I agree that we should listen to our parents but point is not about being stubborn. At times its easier to forget someone u love but its extremely difficult to lead life with someone you just dont love.

Thank you Isha.

I am too pissed off with these things and I want to remove them from our society. You have experienced it and many do. What's the concept of an arrange marriage?? When all your life you are asked to stay away from a guy and suddenly told to sleep with him because he is your husband after a night's celebrations. Is that what marriage is called ? Gather few 100-200 people, organize a party and done. This is not acceptable, atleast by me. And the reason why I came to this forum to help people is, that, I want people to know what's right and what's wrong.

Just following up with what was decided by someone few thousand years ago will never guarantee a good happy married life to you. On the name of customs, you are doing everything that's told to you by your priest. I am not against customs, you should follow it, BUT not blindly. Use your brain, think practically then act.

Thank you Isha for your valuable comment.

Hii anon, I thank you to bring this upI think u have misjudged the forum questions and the suggestions given by the members with regards to the parents intervention in marriages. And I would also like to make a comment specially here on the point in ua post that talks if ua parents are stubborn, one should accept their decision and that too even without asking for a logical reason. Well, u see mate all the parents in the world love their children and also demand the same thing and that of keeping their children happy for their life, and if u see people here are not advised to elope or run away and hurt their parents rather we here encourage every member to convince their parents and get a win-win situation for both, and u see keeping own ego upright and making the children unhappy and disrespect their own parents always happens to be one of the case when parents remain stubborn on their decision, and that too on no grounds but just coz of ego, as Pulkit described tbe reasons, which all just lead to a miserable life, why can't we than demand from them the answers for their denial, which ultimately hurts our future. See mate as we don't have right to hurt our parents coz they have sacrificed their lives for us, does it stand true, that parents have a right to become reasons of the misery of their own child and ultimately live in permanent guilt of taking a wrong decision for their child, so is it not better for us to atleast try and convince them for giving the approval and save self and them both from that wrong decision, which ultimately hurts both of them equally???

Hi Guys,

Thats an awesome point raised by Pulkit aboutt the concept of arrange marriage. i am not against it but the thing is how can a girl/boy accept them without knowing much about each other as thier husband or wife. Parents decide and thier children follow its not the way. Parents are blind folded by indian society norms and traditions which make them orthodox. Its not fault of parents its the fault of society that let breed such rituals and traditions which are of no good to a mankind.

A guy or a girl is capable enough to choose his/her life partner but some indian parents don't understand this thing. They are actually making thier own child incapable to make decision and therefore it will make them a coward person. Hindu boy can't marry muslim girl or vice versa why why why???
It is because they think they can't adjust or it gets difficult and most importantly thier reputation in family and infront of society is at stake. Parents definately need to modify thier thinking that society is made from what we think and attitude we carry toward life not by following stupid rituals and traditions that do no good to anyone. Hurting thier own child's emotions they are turning them against themselves. I am not sure when its going to change but i do wish parents to think of thier children happiness and should not care for society.

is have said it very correctly sameeksha, and weome back, nice to see you around and in action again
The decisions of our parents in India are always based or influenced by the so called moral values of the society which are old about a century or even more older, today in this modern world, there is a need to change this values and thinking, i mean why can't we human beings of todays world give more importance to humanity as a sole religion and love as the sole caste for our Indians and let the couples in love be happy and let them marry with the person they love irrespective of any caste, creed, or any other discrimination.
It is we who have created all those barriers and we are the only ones who can remove them.
It is now time to change all those unethical values, which seperates a human from other and to build new samaj that values each and every individual with equal pride and honor.
Lets get united we the youths and change this values and preach humanity as the sole religion and Love as the only Caste......

Hi Swapnil and Sameeksha,


Yes, you are very much correct. I don't know who posted this question on forum, but certainly I would like him to return back and view the answers so that he understands the whole thing.

@Swapnil : By the way, Sameeksha is getting married to her beau in near future. We lay our best wishes to her and her partner.

I know i hav talked to her anf I am happy for her and yes will like to wish loads and loads of happiness and success in her married life

thanks guys...for ur wishes you guys referring to Pulkit and swapnil have hel-ped me alot during tough time but I will be certainly here helping others so that they can make right decision in life..;)

God bless you sameeksha I like ua attitude keep this attitude always upright with u.... N yes be active on the forum and help others too with ua ideas

I never suggest anyone to marry a person he/she loves on the cost of leaving his or her parents for him/her or even keeping them in dark because obviously, for all the reasons combined, they are your parents and they want the best for you.

I never suggest anyone to marry a person he/she loves on the cost of leaving his or her parents for him/her or even keeping them in dark because obviously, for all the reasons combined, they are your parents and they want the best for you.