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How to convince parents for love marriage without hurting them ?

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  1. #1
    srisri
    srisri is offline Just in!

    How to convince parents for love marriage without hurting them ?

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    Hi,

    Im 23year old. Im in love with one guy, we both are at same age. we are in love since 6years. 3 months ago our parents came to know about our love, they are quite against for us. no one is supportive in our both families. we dont want to leave our love. my parents are seariously searching a match for me. his parents are also not accepted and they sent him to abroad. he is not in touch with me since 3 months. 2days back i got his num and i came to know that he is in touch with my younger brother. he is thinking of me alot. we both are decided to convince our parents and get married but they were not accepted. we tried our level best but, they are not convincing. We both never thought of run and marry. we are not ready to against our parents and at the same time we never stop thinking of each other. we both are in damn love. please suggest what step to take and how to live together with our parents.......

  2. #2
    drsky
    drsky is offline eTI Iron
    My dear,
    This is indeed a tough situation. You didn't mention as to what your parents(both sides) reasons are for being against you. If you want to send more details you can email me at [email protected]. For now, this is what i advise you, do keep in touch with your guy, and both of you should be nice to your parents. Get your family members, your family friends.(those who are on your sides) to speak to your parents and his. Hopefully both of you are financially independent or atleast one of you. If you know what the reasons are for their opposition you both can start the convincing from there, for example, religious / caste differences, socioeconomic status etc etc.

    wish you best
    Am a Dr, relationship advisor, spiritualist
    drsky
    Last edited by drsky; 06-23-2012 at 06:22 PM.

  3. #3
    Sweetie's Avatar
    Sweetie
    Sweetie is offline eTI Member
    What is the reason that they don't want you to get married. His family sent him abroad then must be from prosper family, is it caste or status ?

  4. #4
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hello srisri,

    In your problem statement everything that you have written gives me no clue on the point as to why your and his family are against the marriage.
    My advice to you would be to sit and talk with your parents/family and try to get to know, what is the possible reason of their declining the match. Once, you get to know about this reason, you can very well hit it with fresh efforts and try to convince your parents in your favor. Same is the thing for your boyfriend's side. Ask him to talk to his parents and try to get the reason why his family is forbidding the match. Once you have both the things, you two can arrange a meeting between both the families and let them sort out the matter.

    Try to understand, parents convincing is the most difficult step in getting any relationship right. If its done, half the battle is won. But if its not done, I would suggest you to leave your boyfriend/girlfriend and move on. I know its easy to say so but trust me, eloping away is not the genuine solution as it might create a lot of problems for you both. This is something I wont suggest you ever. So try and try your level best to convince your parents until things goes worse.

    Also, in your family, try to convince the one who you consider close to you ( like, brother or sister ) so that when you are convincing your parents regarding your marriage plans, you have someone to support you.
    Moreover, while convincing your parents about your boyfriend, try to tell them the positive points of your boyfriend and let them know why do you want to be with him. If possible, you can also make your boyfriend speak to your parents over the phone so that your parents have a rough idea of how is he.

    You can also have a look on the following link : http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...your-love.html


    But right now, you need to know the possible reasons for your family declining to accept this relationship till we talk further on this.
    Last edited by Pulkit; 06-23-2012 at 06:44 PM.
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


  5. #5
    confusedgirl
    confusedgirl is offline Just in!

    Same issue on my end

    I have been dating a guy off and on for the past 7 years. We both are doing well in our [COLOR=#009900 !important]career
    where I am already[COLOR=#009900 !important]working[/COLOR] with a big organization and also pursuing my [COLOR=#009900 !important]education and[/COLOR] he is in the process of [COLOR=#009900 !important]becoming a doctor[/COLOR]. We both come from the same caste, state in India. The only problem between the 2 of us is the issue of his parents not accepting me. The question I always have for him is "why". [COLOR=#009900 !important]The answer[/COLOR] to which is unknown, except that his parents are backward and not fond of love marriages. He agrees that the chances are bleak that we will be united one day. He also says that he will compromise me for his parents but not vice versa and rightfully so, I respect him for that. But I am so confused because he does say he will stand up but only to an extent. His parents are not ready to touch this topic for another year (which is [COLOR=#009900 !important]fine[/COLOR]). I feel like if I give it a shot that I am in for more agony. Any suggestion on what I should do? It is becoming extremely frustrating and confusing for me. Why would his parents not accept his choice especially when I don't lack anything that they would be looking for in a girl even when they find him one?
    [/COLOR]


  6. #6
    Unregistered Guest

    How to convince parents for love marriage without hurting them

    I am 26 years old,partially handicapped,she is 3 months elder than me.We both are caring & true loving each other,but she is under low caste,i explained my parents about my love,bu they are refuse to accept.my father also open heart surged patent 2 years ago.she got a alliance for marriage .but she refused the same,after 3 months now my parents saw a other girl to marry,i m not interested & explained i cant do since in my heart there is one girl.but they are not accepting and giving advise to withheld my lover.i cant act harshly on them,and i can do further,my lover also crying & angry on me.and she is not ready to give my life to others. Pls if u have any suggestion.?,But i need my lover as my wife.

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  8. #7
    raman12
    raman12 is offline Just in!

    Unhappy convince our parnts

    I m 23 yr old n my bf is 24 yr old we r in relationship from last 4years .I tell my parents about him last year firstly they agree Dn they r not agree for our marriage n his parents r also know about us they r also not agree they r trying to marry him with other .we r intercaste marriage problem n he has finantial problem we love each others deeply what should we do ???

  9. #8
    swapnilramani's Avatar
    swapnilramani
    swapnilramani is offline eTI Iron
    Hey Raman kindly start a new thread for ur issue will help you there

  10. #9
    divyaharika
    divyaharika is offline Just in!

    How to convince parents for intercaste marriage

    Hi,
    Iam divyaharika,
    I'm 26 years old. I'm in deep love with a guy since 5 years from my college days. I'm from brahmin caste. My boyfriend, he is from another caste (barbers). Last month my parents noticed our relationship... They didn't accepted our relationship. My parents having caste feeling that I should not marry a guy other than brahmin. My parents are demanding me to go out from house if I get marry him. But, the guy I loved is very sincere and good boy. I'm suffering a lot because of my parents. I lost my job also due to this marriage pressure. Presently now I'm staying in home along with my parents. And I'm having one elder brother... He is not at all responsible to my parents and to my family. My parents are telling that, atleast they will be happy because of me due to the marriage according to their wish. But, I can't miss my guy who loves me soo much and he is very responsible towards me... The only one problem to my parents is his caste. He is in a low caste. He belongs to barbers caste. But his family and relatives are well educated and they were in a good positions. I don't know what to do. Please help me to get rid of this life and death problem. Please I'm worrying a lot. I can't explain in my words. Please help me....

  11. #10
    divyaharika
    divyaharika is offline Just in!
    Hi,
    Iam divyaharika,
    I'm 26 years old. I'm in deep love with a guy since 5 years from my college days. I'm from brahmin caste. My boyfriend, he is from another caste (barbers). Last month my parents noticed our relationship... They didn't accepted our relationship. My parents having caste feeling that I should not marry a guy other than brahmin. My parents are demanding me to go out from house if I get marry him. But, the guy I loved is very sincere and good boy. I'm suffering a lot because of my parents. I lost my job also due to this marriage pressure. Presently now I'm staying in home along with my parents. And I'm having one elder brother... He is not at all responsible to my parents and to my family. My parents are telling that, atleast they will be happy because of me due to the marriage according to their wish. But, I can't miss my guy who loves me soo much and he is very responsible towards me... The only one problem to my parents is his caste. He is in a low caste. He belongs to barbers caste. But his family and relatives are well educated and they were in a good positions. I don't know what to do. Please help me to get rid of this life and death problem. Please I'm worrying a lot. I can't explain in my words. Please help me....

  12. #11
    sweety shah
    sweety shah is offline Just in!

    family ntr aged with marriage

    my self sweety shah i love a boy who is of my caste my family agred with our marriage bt nw they came to knew that he is having job bt that is nt permanent n salary is also low bt the boys parents told lies to my parents that he is permanent at this stage nw my parents came to knew he is not permanent so they r nt getting agred to mariage wat shoulld i do in such situations.......pls rpy me with ur valid suggestions

  13. #12
    abhy
    abhy is offline Just in!

    Do not listen to parents

    To all Indian men who abandon love because of parents*: As an Indian guy, I beg you not to do that*!!! It will be the biggest ruin of your life. I had a difficult situation. I fell in love with a european woman who was older than me. In the beginning we tried to hide it but after some time, I had to tell my parents. I made the biggest mistake of leaving her. I thought at first it was the best decision but she was still trying to get back. I ignored her but my heart was in pain. Every day without her was suffering and I couldnt focus on anything apart from our memories together. Shortly after, I got to know that my love died. And it was not because of age but because of stress she was going through because of me and plans that we had but we cancelled. That tragedy happened 2 years ago and now I regret every bad word that I told her and leaving her. I hate my parents, they are blinded by their stupid culture which is a poison for the whole India. If i could turn back time I would do everything to be with my woman. I am 33 today and still I am single and I dont think I will ever find a woman because she was the only one perfect for me. I left to live in europe where she was from, I only visit her grave now and now I know that my parents have ruined my life. To all Indian men who experience any situation when parents forbid what they love*: wake up before it will be too late. There will come the time when there will be no going back and you will loose your love forever. I am single now , not having contact with parents. I am learning her culture which I love very much, and from the perspective of time I can easily say that Indian culture is nothing but prison.

  14. #13
    drsky
    drsky is offline eTI Iron
    Hello Abhy,

    I sympathize with you deeply. It surely is hard upon you, and am sure that at some point your parents also must be feeling the repercussions of the same to some extent. It is true that indian culture, beliefs, ways are tough and fixed, yet there are many which are good. It will be difficult to understand now, but you have to be in peace and make peace with yourself to exist peacefully. Surely easier said than done.

    You should try yoga, meditation, and regression therapy / eternity process therapy/. So that the pain decreases and you would be able to go on.

    Try kriya yoga, art of living foundation near you. Go to google and search

    Will change your life.

    And look into " kathryn alice" love advisor

    And keep praying to GOD, for God is love, and helping singles and couples as much as possible, so that love comes into your life.

    Wish you tbe best
    Dr.Sky
    (Allopathic Dr, Relationship Advisor)

  15. #14
    alia
    alia is offline Just in!
    hi..my name is Alia...i'm 18 years old...i'm in love with this guy madly and so does he...he is 5 months older than me...the problem is that his mom has a doubt that he is talking to some girl...she even heard my voice...but now...suddenly she shows her anger to him and tells him that only the person i like should come to my house....she even tells that his choice is not allowed...because of this he has no idea what to do so he broke up with me.

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