SORRY FOR MY bad ENGLISH....
I met my boyfriend one year ago,it was a rebound relationship, I was so much attached to him, we used to talk 7-8 hours in day. He used to tell me he wants to marry me, but we both belongs to conservative families where caste matters a lot, my parents are poor, by facing many hardships they raised me & sent me to a very good college, so it was quite clear that we can never get married to each other due to inter caste , we both are very much attached to our parents. But we decided till we get married to some other people we will be together so that we can have some good memories of each other. But it created lot of insecurities in my mind,he was cool with this idea, I lost my virginity to him, but I didn’t bleed so he doubted on me but i clarified everything .

He have trust issues. he is very insecure & controlling.Most of my friends are guys so he was very insecure, so he forced me that if I have him why I need to talk to other guys, I am not a good girlfriend, I am not satisfied with him, so I keep on cheating on him by talking with other guys, but it was not true, they all were my friends I never cheated on him. But I never blamed him because I was so much attached to him, I never wanted to leave him.

whenever he used to spend more times with his friends, it always made me upset, deep down I always knew that this behavior of mine is not healthy, so I tried to change myself so that he can have his space, so slowly slowly I started giving him his space, but still he was not at all working on himself, he was so insecure, he used to abuse me verbally everyday whenever my phone was busy, because I hardly get time in day so in night only I used to call my friends. Whenever I tried to left him he blamed me that I am leaving him all alone, his exams are coming & he can,t study, I am making his life miserable, he was with me in my bad times after my break up but I am not supporting him, but it was not true, I know i was suffering from emotional attachment problem but still I supported him for four months when he was alone in spite of the fact that he used to abuse me every day, he was so possessive , it affected my study badly, I am still studying & dependent on parents, our financial condition is also not good, so sometimes it makes me feel so guilty, that I am cheating on my parents , they have high expectation from me , I am not caring about my parents at all, we are in long distance relationship, we met only twice in one year, this time he wanted to meet me, but I put a condition that from now on we will not going to have sex, as we are very clear that we don,t have future together, so it will hurt me in long run, I only want to spend time with him, he called me old fashioned & he refused to come, he said he wants everything from me, love, sex ,care, he don,t want any condition, but I am not ready for these thing. Finally I broke up with him, but I don,t know why I still miss him. I still blame my self for everything, I still think I was abusive he was not, I made him abusive, my emotional behavior, my life problems made him abusive.

Clearly your relationship was becoming burden, yes you will miss him for a long time but solution is that get yourself busy with your study and future or if you can then find some other boyfriend who will not be a problem for you. But actually truth is that if you remain single, you will miss him more.

On the other had you said you have feeling of guilt by not concentrating on your study, so better to live alone for a while, concentrate on your future.

Actually, whatever happened with you was your own decision, the moment you decided to continue relation despite of knowing that there will be no future, it was bound to happen. Now, instead of regretting it, use your efforts in something fruitful.

Good luck dear!

He was an idiot to not to understand and believe such a nice girl and I think you did good by breaking up with him.

Hello priya2012,

Whatever you have written makes me believe only on the point that you both were not happy with your relationship. your ex-boyfriend complained to you for not being a good girlfriend, for being old-fashioned, for not caring for him, not giving him love and pleasure. The problem with you was the insecurity issues and his nature. All in all, both of you were not happy with the relationship.

What I believe in is, the least the differences in a relationship, the better the relationship is. If both of you faced such difficult problems in this relationship, if your relationship was not worth enjoying, if you were just dragging with it.... then I feel, it was better for you to call it off and end the relationship.

Yes, you were emotionally involved in it with your boyfriend, you were loyal to him, there were not just emotional but physical intimacies involved in your relationship and hence you are facing this problem of completely detaching from him. Try to understand, when you are involved so much involved with someone to such a long extend, it naturally becomes difficult for one to forget that person and detach from him so soon. Understand, break up with him was your call, but definitely it will take sometime for you to completely forget him and move on with your life.

As of now, you can involve yourself in some of your hobbies, watch movies, hang out with your male/female frends, plan out an evening and do whatever you ever wanted to do, you liked to do. Slowly and stedly you will forget your ex-boyfriend and will be able to move on in your life. Try to concentrate on your career and studies. Life has alot to offer you at some time. Wait and watch what life has next in store for you.

hey pulkit

In my last post, i told u about my ex & his behaviour.its been 4 months, i am not talking to him, zero contact & i am really happy. i have started living my life, i am back with my friends, i have told everything to my parents also, they are also so supportive.BUT the main problem is no matter how many time i change my number, he keeps on contacting me, he says he just wants to talk to me only as a friend & he still loves me dearly, he is really sorry, he keeps on calling my friends and he cries.

today i am on that stage that i don,t need any man beside me, i am completely happy with my life, it doesn,t really matter to me whether he is changing or not, if he has changed its good for him, i don,t have any feelings for him, and my parents wants that i should never ever talk to him,even i want the same. but this guy is not stopping at all, he says i am very crual, i don,t have any heart, at least once i should talk to him.....from last 4 months every day many a times he calls, he keep on saying sorry through text, once i told him clearly no matter how sorry he is , i don,t have any feelings now, i am done with all the drama so plzz go.pyaar se samjahu ya gusse usse effect hi nahi karta. he keeps on saying he will die, his life is not a life without me but seriously my heart says don,t talk to him.

i don,t even want his shadow near me, i want him to move on just the way others moves on. sometime he blackmails me that he will die if i won,t talk to him. he lost his job,so he is more depressed. sometimes he says we slept together thats why i don,t want you to let go....what a rubbish reason. i am very confuse what should i do, i don,t want to hurt someone...but i don,t want to hurt myself too...dusro ki maine bhot parwa ki hai ab khud ki karna chati hu.

pulkit, yahoo ...is anyone there who can help me ??????

Hi priya2012,


Be it Aarish ( Yahoo ) or me, we are there to help you out. Since now you have decided to cease every contact with him, his phone calls or texts should not affect you. Talk to him once and let me know clearly that nothing exsists between you both now and if he's going to continue with his deeds, you are going to refer the matter to local authorities.

Also, next time if you change your number, avoid giving it to your mutual friends. Moreover, just ask them not to give your number to him even when he cried for it. Keep your parents informed about this in advance.

Live your life, you won't be getting it again.