Love marriage and career- Father finds my boy unsuitable

ShrutiK · 12-06-2012, 11:03 AM

Hi i am shruti
I am 25 yrs old... Can any one suggest me ways of convincing my parents... My boy friend is 30 yrs n he is my classmate we both r graduates ..n want to go for post graduation... His parents r worried about his marriage that he should marry now as he is 30.. He has spoken about me in hishome and every one is happy.. But want us ti get married soon... We r in a relationship since 4 years... But the problemis with my family..even we belong to the same caste... My best friend has poisoned my parents mind about my boyfriend... My mother knew about my relationship since begining.. She was a bit uncomfortable with my choice... But every thing was smooth... N she even teased me by his name... But situation became worse when my father came to know about my relationship n he initially said ok infront of me n asked my best friend about my boyfriend.. She completely told all things about him which should not be told... Whatever he is i love him n he loves me too... We accepted our past n respect each other... But my father feels he is most unsuitable guy for me n he has made me against my parents.. He feels i am immature to have taken such a decision...he eeven took me to a psychiatrist for a brain wash..n to extract my feelings thru the psychiatrist.. I have failed repeatedly in my postgraduate entrance exams as i am not able to concentrate on studies...my father wants me to concentrate on studies first as he to is at the same level in acedemics but he works n earns a good salary... He is financially good but nat when compared to my family... But i am ready to adjust with him in all walks of life... N my dad wants his son in law to run his buisness or daughter to run his buisness... N he is also angry that i am not helping him in his work... His parents r ready to talk to my parents but my parents r not even ready to listen to them... I have an option to elope with my boyfriend,, but as i love my parents a lot i cant do this to them... I have convinced them last year n i failed in my exams... They r upset with me... They want me to get into postgraduation first n then they vl think about our relation ship later on.... But my boyfriends parents r eager to get him married... N cant wait..n they dont trust my parents anymore.... I cant talk to any one about this in my family my mom hates my boyfriend now... She wants me to get married to a rich guy.... My father wants his son in law to run his buisness but my boyfriend has to take care of his father n he cant do that..n i forgot to mention that he is from north n i am from south... Plz help me as this is high time ,,,,i have given exams n waiting for results.... But i need to answer my boyfriend and his parents as they say they cantwait anymore.... I am fed up of this attitude of my parents ... Plz help me ....

12-07-2012, 01:15 PM

Hi Shruti,

There are different angles attach to your problem.

You are viewing it from an angle of a lover and so whatever happened so far is hard to digest for you. But try considering it from a perspective of parents. Every parent would wish their child to marry to a person who is a perfect match for their kid. If your family is denying your marriage with him, you need to understand, there must have been a good proven reason behind it. All I am hinting at is, don't just try to hide the negatives of your man covering it with purity of love.
realize, your parents are enough mature and experienced in issues related to relationships. They have seen people from all walks of life, relationships of all kind developing and breaking, heart renching and divorces. So somewhere they might be right in their way of thinking.

Now, what you got to do is, sit and talk to them and ask them their own version of reasons of denying this marriage. Try to understand their point of view and then decide onto things if you want to go for it or not.
Eloping away and marrying is definitely not the solution to the issue. Moreover failing in your exam years after years is also giving them a reason to reject your proposal and rather marry you to a guy who is financially secure in their eyes.

Ao, all I can say is RELAX, take a breath, think what is right and what is wrong and then act accordingly. If your best friend has suggest your father not to marry you to your boyfriend due to whatever reasons, and if, your father, after careful considerations has decided to reject the proposal also supported by your mother, then definitely they all must be right. When there are so many people not wanting it to happen, it doesn't take rocket science to understand that something, somewhere is wrong which perhaps you are not able to see or you are trying to hide it by covering it with love.

So, relax and take your time. Talk to your parents and your best friend. Take their opinions as well, think alot and then decide. If a person wants to be with you, he will be with you at all cost. So, you can put their family on hold for sometime.

Also you can browse the following link. You might find it useful.
Link : http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...your-love.html

Love marriage and career- Father finds my boy unsuitable

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Love marriage and career- Father finds my boy unsuitable

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