Hi,
I am 27 years old male pursuing my MBA. I have been in a relationship for the past 7 months with a girls in my college. She is very attractive, talented and popular. I am simple, reserved and have limited friends. Initially it was all bliss and we used to love being with each other all the time. We both confessed that we were thinking of spending our lives together. But after a couple of months, arguments and fights started disturbing our relationship. And it has been getting worse with time. We have reached a stage where we do not even need a reason to fight.
My girl friend's approach to a fight is to snap it and say let's break up it's not working out. and I try to make it up by accepting my mistake even when I don't believe the entire fault is mine. She complains that I raise small issues and don't let them go while my feeling is that she tries to clearly avoid them which gets irritating. I accept my mistakes quite easily while she doesn't do it due to her ego.
It seems to me that I am compromising too much in this relationship. It hasn't been once that she has come back to me to get things working again while I have done it so many times. She puts all the blame on me for the fights and says it's in my nature which is not true as I don't normally fight with other people. Although I know that she loves me and I love her too as we still love being with each other and find it difficult to be away. I am on an internship for 2 months and it is getting very tough to pass as we still fight on phone and my ability to get things back is limited. I try my best to avoid the fights but I have thi nature of solving problems and then moving on while she prefers to ignore them.
Please help.. I don't want this to end.

Hi vivs123,

Welcome to the forum !!!




Your relationship is too young and immature one. Its just been 7 months since you guys are together. For a love relationship to develop completely, one needs to give it some time to mature. Its just the first time perhaps, that you have entered in a relationship and which is why you guys are not acquainted with the dynamics of a healthy love relationship. There are more of expectations, less of respect...more of ego clashes, less of sacrifices etc.

So, considering today's time and life, it becomes very hard to handle a relationship. For a person like you, things get even steeper. So, I suggest you need to put some hold instead of becoming judgemental.
A relationship with least differences is the best one. This is actually not the time to think for a break up. You still have a long way to go. Atleast grow your relationship to become a year old or so. Right now you both are experimenting with your lives and this beautiful feeling called love. You guys are in a phase where you are trying to know each other well, judge each other, get acquainted with your partner's lifestyle, happiness, ideas, views etc. What I am trying to hint at is that you guys need some time to make things work out. Instead of expecting too much from a very young and immature relationship at such an early stage, you need to give it some time to mature fully.

Also, try to connect with your girlfriend and tell her that she is actually acting too immaturely every time she threatens you with this break up thing. Make her understand, if there is really some problem than its always better to talk and sort the matter out than just ignoring things up. Ignoring a problem and taking things for granted will someday lead you guys to a point when you will have nothing in hand for you. Instead confront the issue, talk it, discuss the complete matter with you, take the blame if she feels she is wrong and put aside her ego.
Still if things don't work out and she feels that its getting really difficult to drag it up, she is most welcome to leave you.

Adding to all this, next time please give us a detailed information on what issues you guys face which lead to a fight? Nowhere have you mentioned what problems you have faced in past, what things you guys fight on etc. Don't forget to enumerate both sides of the coin.