How to convince my boyfriend to get marry me?

[email protected] · 12-14-2013, 03:45 PM

hi i m priya,
I m in love with my boy friend for almost 2 years. we had a good relationship and good understanding too.he is well known to our family and my parents has good opinion on them.our life was so good. we both are well educated and in good job too.the only problem we felt v will face in our marriage is caste so v prepared ourselves to face the task, but everything is collapsed within 6 months.my boy friend had one brother and one sister.unexpectedly his brother ran away with a girl and married and this bought really really a bad name to his family, within few months after that incident his sister also ran away with a guy and married him and not leaving with that she is also demanding some asset from his parents.his parents almost decided to commit sucide but just decided to leave for my boy friend. in this tough situation my boy friend decided to give up me for their parents happiness and decided to live for their parents since he was the only hope for them. but how can sacrifice my boy friend our relationship is so strong and i cant live without him. sometimes i feel even to commit sucide, i m so so mad at him, i cant give him up and marry another guy.he too loves me so madly but he took that decision for the sake of his parents.v never decided to run away and bring bad names to family.but v dont knw what to do now,my boy friend says if v tell our love to our parents means thats all they will be no more i want to live for my parents plz forget me like, my god its impossible in my life plz tell me some suggestion to convince my boy friend and our parents too.

12-15-2013, 01:19 AM

Hi priya,

This is a really shocking incident. Two out of three kids ran away one after the other and got married to the person of their own choice. This is actually very bad and I can understand how challenging it must be for the parents to live like this. I really pity on them.

Well, these two incidents clearly indicate that your boyfriend's parents are EITHER completely against the concept of love marriage, a very OR both the kids were dumb and coward who couldn't gather the courage to fight back to their parents. Whatever it is, your boyfriend knows it well. He is a part of that family and he must have had seen or learn few things about his parent's behavior against love marriages. It gives me a little discomfort to think, why would their children leave them for someone else without even fighting back for once. I believe, parents were dead against love marriage. However, I might be wrong. Adding to this there can also be a possibility that their kids might have proposed for marriage with someone who was not the right person for them which is why parent's disbelieved and forbidden the match.

I am telling all this to you because you might also face the same. When nothing negative was there, their two children left them. Now after this incident, things have become worse and you might face real hard times in making things work out.

For now, let the matter rest for a while till things settle. It's been a really shocking situation and everybody is in a shaky state of mind. Allow them to bounce back and stabilize themselves. Don't force yourself on your boyfriend right now, this will lead in a complete disappointment to you. Understand, he is as much disturbed as his own parents and now has a double responsibility to handle. Give him his space and time so that he can figure out things.

As his girlfriend, your responsibility is to just be with him at this difficult times. It's a time when he and his family is weak. You can help them bounce back to their life. As written above, they are not unknown to you. Pay regular visits to their house, help them in whatever way possible, help your boyfriend, support him to stay strong etc. Do exactly what you would have done if you were already married to him before these incidents would have taken place. In all possible manner, behave like their bride and his wife. For that love and feelings you have for him, make a sense of your responsibilities and stay with him at this difficult time as a good wife would do. This counts a lot.

Right now, the whole crap society must be laughing out loud at them. You involvement in their family, your support to them at every possible step will be really helpful. Keep your expectations at low. Don't ask much, give more.

Realize the time has changed. By being their support, you can only prove your worth and make your own special position in their family. They might even love you more than their own daughter. So, that will ease out things at your relationship level.

I hope, I was able to make myself clear. Looking forward for a reply from you.

12-16-2013, 10:18 PM

As i got enough suggestion for my thread "how to convince my boyfriend to marry" be plz disable this msg from being online

12-16-2013, 11:09 PM

hi pulkit i m priya again, the one who seeked some suggestion for "how to convince my boy friend to get marry me?" the suggestion u gave was really logical and thats what my friends too suggested me to do so i really thank a lot for ur concern on me, but i want to mention u few more to make things more clearer.actually our both family known to each other but not that close to make my frequent visit there. i always find reason to visit his home but at this critical situation i cant make my visit there considering my parents restriction also it will pay way for doubting me at home.also after this incident my boy friend stopped contacting me he never attends my call nor replies for my message too.he keeps saying i cant marry u plz forgive me and get marry another guy.i m so mad. when he never messages or attends my call how can i convince or be support to him. since v work its impossible to meet also though its possible at cases he voluntarily avoids thinking love marriage is impossible in
his life.plz give me some more suggestion. i m waiting.....

12-16-2013, 11:18 PM

hi i m priya again, the one who seeked some suggestion for "how to convince my boy friend to get marry me?" the suggestion u gave was really logical and thats what my friends too suggested me to do so i really thank a lot for ur concern on me, but i want to mention u few more to make things more clearer.actually our both family known to each other but not that close to make my frequent visit there. i always find reason to visit his home but at this critical situation i cant make my visit there considering my parents restriction also it will pay way for doubting me at home.also after this incident my boy friend stopped contacting me he never attends my call nor replies for my message too.he keeps saying i cant marry u plz forgive me and get marry another guy.i m so mad. when he never messages or attends my call how can i convince or be support to him. since v work its impossible to meet also though its possible at cases he voluntarily avoids thinking love marriage is impossible in

his life.plz give me some more suggestion. i m waiting.....

12-17-2013, 08:23 PM

Hii priya,
Just give your boyfriend the time and the support he requires to handle this situation....dont get mad or angry on whatever he is doing.....he has his main concern which is you and the reason for saying this that you should marry someone else is purely because he is also not able to ses u sad same as u do, but dear let me tell u one thing if ua boyfriend is concerned about your happiness, do u think that getting mad on his behaviour will solve the situation no dear rather it will worsen the situation for both u guys what the situation demands is u to stay calm and composed and to support ua bf not only physically but mentally, try to calm him down and tell him that u really love him and u r ready to face whatever comes ur way to have him as ua lyfpartner and u will be supporting him on ua core till the end.
I just wanted to tell u a story of Girl on this forum who is fighting the same battle not for 1-2 yrs but for 4 long years u can view her thread with the name sripriya on the forum so nw its ua tym to prove to almighty that ua commitment is really true and you are going to do whatever it takes to convince both ua parents to willingly let u guys marry and thereby set an example not only of true live never loses but also the ideal kids who not only can fight for their love but are evenly concerned about the reputation of parents and their happiness too....our blessings are with you

12-17-2013, 08:23 PM

12-18-2013, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by sathiyashree

hi pulkit i m priya again, the one who seeked some suggestion for "how to convince my boy friend to get marry me?" the suggestion u gave was really logical and thats what my friends too suggested me to do so i really thank a lot for ur concern on me, but i want to mention u few more to make things more clearer.actually our both family known to each other but not that close to make my frequent visit there. i always find reason to visit his home but at this critical situation i cant make my visit there considering my parents restriction also it will pay way for doubting me at home.also after this incident my boy friend stopped contacting me he never attends my call nor replies for my message too.he keeps saying i cant marry u plz forgive me and get marry another guy.i m so mad. when he never messages or attends my call how can i convince or be support to him. since v work its impossible to meet also though its possible at cases he voluntarily avoids thinking love marriage is impossible in
his life.plz give me some more suggestion. i m waiting.....

Hi Priya,

I can understand, it must be difficult for you right now to pay frequent visits to his place, owing to the restrictions your parents have put on you. Let me be very clear, I'm not asking you to disobey your parents or do not comply with their restrictions. These limitations and restrictions are meant for your own security. The point that I want to convey is, do not let these restrictions over power your love. Nobody is asking you to go at his place at midnight or visit him daily. After all that has happened with them, they wouldn't allow anybody to invade their privacy... and you should respect it. But yes ofcourse, you can be with him and his parents when they need you. Like, this coming Christmas or New Year, you can visit them, take their blessings or plan a visit to a nearby temple etc. You can also visit them on Sundays and help your to be mother-in-law in preparing lunch, or whatever. I am juat putting forward few examples. All you got to do is just show your presence to them without invading their privacy or dis respecting your restrictions.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned, give him his own space. This is no time to complain about his less frequent phone calls or text. Had I been at his place in this situation, I would have done the same. There is so much to handle right now for him that its natural, he won't be able to focus completely on you. Please be good to him by being more understanding of him and of the situation. You know he is not like this. He loves you, but is now disturbed.

Talk to him and explain him that you are not forcing him to get married, neither would you like him to consider you as a responsibility. Tell him that you are not forcing him to get married to you. Instead you would wait for him to marry you till things will improve. He can take his time. Just tell him that you want to be with him right now because you cannot see him in pain. Ask him to allow you to become his greatest support, just as a wife would be. Support him. Tell him that you are available to him whenever he would need you to share something or just to cry on or simply when he would need someone.

Ma'am, I am not sure how well am I able to explain you these things. But this is time when you should do what a female is known best for- Emotional Support !
Change your girlfriend's perspective and think from a wife's point of view. He is the best thing that ever happened to you and life has given you a chance to prove your love to him. Do it now.

Put your expectations at low, try not to complain, spread love and smiles as much as you can. I know, being a woman you can do that. You women are best at giving love, emotional support and bringing smiles. What's stopping you ?

For the rest, you have lots of friends here, including me with whom you can share your joys and sorrows.

Keep posting ! Keep Loving !

12-19-2013, 01:44 AM

thanks pulkit, i do realize wt are the mistakes i did just thinking only my side without even considering his situation, i too hurted him a lot itseems, anyway as u said itz my turn to be on his side and be more supportive to him, thanks yer...

12-19-2013, 01:47 AM

i referred to sripriya's thread, i too gain confident ramani thanks for ur support dear

12-19-2013, 07:43 PM

Originally Posted by sathiyashree

thanks pulkit, i do realize wt are the mistakes i did just thinking only my side without even considering his situation, i too hurted him a lot itseems, anyway as u said itz my turn to be on his side and be more supportive to him, thanks yer...

You're welcome ma'am.
Please feel free to share anything with us on this forum.

12-19-2013, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by swapnilramani

Hii priya,
Just give your boyfriend the time and the support he requires to handle this situation....dont get mad or angry on whatever he is doing.....he has his main concern which is you and the reason for saying this that you should marry someone else is purely because he is also not able to ses u sad same as u do, but dear let me tell u one thing if ua boyfriend is concerned about your happiness, do u think that getting mad on his behaviour will solve the situation no dear rather it will worsen the situation for both u guys what the situation demands is u to stay calm and composed and to support ua bf not only physically but mentally, try to calm him down and tell him that u really love him and u r ready to face whatever comes ur way to have him as ua lyfpartner and u will be supporting him on ua core till the end.
I just wanted to tell u a story of Girl on this forum who is fighting the same battle not for 1-2 yrs but for 4 long years u can view her thread with the name sripriya on the forum so nw its ua tym to prove to almighty that ua commitment is really true and you are going to do whatever it takes to convince both ua parents to willingly let u guys marry and thereby set an example not only of true live never loses but also the ideal kids who not only can fight for their love but are evenly concerned about the reputation of parents and their happiness too....our blessings are with you

Hey swapnil,

Can you please paste the link to sripriya's thread here. I remember the name but I couldn't find her thread on the forum.

12-20-2013, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by Pulkit

Hey swapnil,

Can you please paste the link to sripriya's thread here. I remember the name but I couldn't find her thread on the forum.

http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...rt-family.html
hi swapnil, hope u can find it now..!

12-20-2013, 08:26 PM

yaa thnx satyashree i just wanted to save this page to refer it to nyother who requires support

12-25-2013, 04:24 AM

Originally Posted by swapnilramani

yaa thnx satyashree i just wanted to save this page to refer it to nyother who requires support

I really dont knw what i should state here, my efforts to convince my boyfriend are really becoming worthless. no one should face trouble as my boy friend faces, after his two siblings ran away and married on their own choice now he faces problem with asset, finance prob to continue his home construction, and ofcourse prob with society talks, his parents planning to transfer entire asset to him once they do marriage for him. my boy friend is very much sure that he cannot not marry me and started to live in his own world, he prepared himself and he is so strong enough to marry another girl by killing all his desires and feelings.he is no more ready to consider my words or even my support.i m a kind of girl who cant even bare to see another girls message in his mobile, how will i live in this world seeing my boyfriends decision to marry another girl.anyway he is not going to marry sooner, but i really dont knw where all this going to end.my boy dont likes me having friends, i avoided having contacts with all my friends sooner and i really felt happy just to live only in his shadow, i felt nothing more in this world is needed for me. even now i cant even imagine another guy as my husband but he simply says plz forget me and marry another guy i cant marry u, i beg at ur feet plz leave me like,he says when there will be no happiness would remain in my life even if i marry u ,then how can u expect me to marry u like, he says he just want to live for his parents.my relationship with him is not just like saying good bye at any cost...i cant imagine my world without him.i really do understand his situation but his decisions are so strong that he just throwed me just like that for his family.i cant concentrate on anything else. i dont have friends, i m not interested also to get my friends back. i want only him, he is my life....i dont knw what i should do for that...! plz help me to get my life back.

12-25-2013, 10:41 PM

Well.... if he is thinking like this, he definitely loves you alot. Tell me what are men best known for ? Looks? Style ? Beauty ?... Definitely Not. Men are best known for their financial stability and their caring nature. And if they become financially unstable, they are bound to get weak.
And when they have a responsibility on them, when they have to take care of someone they love, it gets really difficult to sustain. Its natural for them to fall apart.

Similar is what happenning with your boyfriend. His financial challenges and present situation has disturbed him alot mentally and he wants you to leave him because he doesn't want you to be a part of his problems. He knows that you don't deserve all this, that you are someone he would always like to treat in no less than a princess, that his promises to give you a healthy and beautiful life dont seem like fulfilling, which is why he is tensed and wants you to leave him to go for a better person who could keep you happy.

Don't worry, when problems strike, every man behaves in exactly same manner. I might have done the same. Its in nature thatwe cannot see our spouses in trouble, we cannot see them crying because of us.

All you got to do is, say to him putting all your faith in him that you're not going to leave him even if it gets worser. Tell him, love is not about always sharing the good moments, good life, happiness and joy. When you love someone, you share his sorrows as well, become a part of his journey through his difficult times and that's what exactly you gonna do. Ask him to "shut up" his mouth and concentrate on things on priority right now. Ask him not to bring this thought in his mind ever again. You will always be with him, no matter what.

How to convince my boyfriend to get marry me?

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How to convince my boyfriend to get marry me?

thanks pulkit

lost my hope..!

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