Originally Posted by Pulkit

Well.... if he is thinking like this, he definitely loves you alot. Tell me what are men best known for ? Looks? Style ? Beauty ?... Definitely Not. Men are best known for their financial stability and their caring nature. And if they become financially unstable, they are bound to get weak.
And when they have a responsibility on them, when they have to take care of someone they love, it gets really difficult to sustain. Its natural for them to fall apart.

Similar is what happenning with your boyfriend. His financial challenges and present situation has disturbed him alot mentally and he wants you to leave him because he doesn't want you to be a part of his problems. He knows that you don't deserve all this, that you are someone he would always like to treat in no less than a princess, that his promises to give you a healthy and beautiful life dont seem like fulfilling, which is why he is tensed and wants you to leave him to go for a better person who could keep you happy.

Don't worry, when problems strike, every man behaves in exactly same manner. I might have done the same. Its in nature thatwe cannot see our spouses in trouble, we cannot see them crying because of us.

All you got to do is, say to him putting all your faith in him that you're not going to leave him even if it gets worser. Tell him, love is not about always sharing the good moments, good life, happiness and joy. When you love someone, you share his sorrows as well, become a part of his journey through his difficult times and that's what exactly you gonna do. Ask him to "shut up" his mouth and concentrate on things on priority right now. Ask him not to bring this thought in his mind ever again. You will always be with him, no matter what.

i dont knw how well itz gonna work but urs and other suggestion i get from this forum are really the best medicine for my survival with hope.i gain confident to deal with him only with this forum words..thanks a lot...

Originally Posted by Pulkit

Well.... if he is thinking like this, he definitely loves you alot. Tell me what are men best known for ? Looks? Style ? Beauty ?... Definitely Not. Men are best known for their financial stability and their caring nature. And if they become financially unstable, they are bound to get weak.
And when they have a responsibility on them, when they have to take care of someone they love, it gets really difficult to sustain. Its natural for them to fall apart.

Similar is what happenning with your boyfriend. His financial challenges and present situation has disturbed him alot mentally and he wants you to leave him because he doesn't want you to be a part of his problems. He knows that you don't deserve all this, that you are someone he would always like to treat in no less than a princess, that his promises to give you a healthy and beautiful life dont seem like fulfilling, which is why he is tensed and wants you to leave him to go for a better person who could keep you happy.

Don't worry, when problems strike, every man behaves in exactly same manner. I might have done the same. Its in nature thatwe cannot see our spouses in trouble, we cannot see them crying because of us.

All you got to do is, say to him putting all your faith in him that you're not going to leave him even if it gets worser. Tell him, love is not about always sharing the good moments, good life, happiness and joy. When you love someone, you share his sorrows as well, become a part of his journey through his difficult times and that's what exactly you gonna do. Ask him to "shut up" his mouth and concentrate on things on priority right now. Ask him not to bring this thought in his mind ever again. You will always be with him, no matter what.

Hi yesterday my boy friend told me that surely he cant marry me and he wont marry me too, i can digest the word cant but how can i digest wont, he is not at all ready to listen my words. he is asking after this two incidents of my siblings r u expecting me to commit the same and kill my parents? he also told from next month his parents starts to search a girl for him he told no matter what, he is not going to oppose them and he is going to marry that girl, from yesterday i m restless, sleepless.his friend, one of the school principal knows our love very well and even supported us earlier that he will stand front and do marriage for us but after this incidents i cant catch him at all.whenever my boy tells he cant marry me i almost believed his friend with the hope that he will still support me,bcoz he is much matured enough. but recent days his friend bared all the incoming call it seems, how much i tried i cant contact him at all. my boys two idiot siblings did really a huge mistake, they are the reason for everything, but they are living so happily but i m dying every day here...i cant be patience anymore, what ever it is i decided either to do or die. 2mrw i planned to open my love to my parents, i dont knw where this will take to, i m scared a lot...every one loves and they stand together to fight against all the hurdles to win in their life. but here i m alone, i dont knw whom i should convince whether my boy or my parents or his parents, who will accept me? who will throw my feeling just like a doll? what i ll do? where my life gonna end? i have an exam to undertake 2mrw to complete my MBA graduation. i planned to open my love to my parents after completing the exam...i dont knw how many reads this thread, but i request all the viewers in this forum plz pray for my life i want my life back, plz pray god to consider me too in this world...!

i told my boy that i m gonna tell our love to parents but he just told me if i do any such things i cant see him or his parents alive anymore.........my life is gone

Hi,



This is really bad that your boyfriend is not ready to listen to you at all. First and the most important thing for you is to keep yourself strong from within. We all want you to get married to him but the present situation is little too hard to digest. Keep yourself cool. When you panic, your brain stops working. So, good or bad, whatever it is, its going to come right in front of you and you should have the desire and courage to accept it.

Talking to your parents might not work out very well. The incident that happened, has made a negative image of the entire family on society. Take it from me, your parents won't welcome this fact well, that you love a guy from that family. Parents have a tendency to consider society first, than their child's happiness. Your mother might freak out.

Talk to your boyfriend first, tell him straight that you dont want to suffer because of what his siblings did. Either he is going to talk about you at home or you do the honours of disclosing your relationship to his parents as a last resort to this situation. Bring him down on emotional grounds and talk to him. He is perhaps too much afraid of his parents and emotionally very weak. He is not able to consider the point of trying to talk to his parents. He has brought himself at a point that he might accept the very first offer his parents will choose for him.

Nobody can guarantee you with what's going to happen next. He is not getting married now for sure. Any family who would come to him with marriage proposal will get to know about this incident and might mind the unplesantness. So, things should not go as smooth as he believes they will.

To be true to you, keep your hopes less. If this doesn't works out, you can consider disclosing your relationship to your parents and convince them for the match. If they agree, they can offer your hand as a proposal to his parents for the marriage.

But lets wait for him to take the first step. If he can gather the courage to do that, well-n-good. If he fails to take a stand, you can disclose it to your parents and request them to make a proposal to his parents for marriage. Since the families know each other, you shouldn't find much difficulties.

Also, give him sometime to decide and settle on his decision.

Rushing on any thing and taking decision in anger or frustration will only cause u to lose al of it in a flash dear calm down yourself and dont let your emotions take charge of you...you have to keep yourself strong mentally and also calm to face this situation.
It is the matter of factvwhayever his siblings have done.in past is surely coming ur way but its not what actually is stopping u to marry him....and once in.ua post u said u r going to open up ua relationship infront of ua parents, I think this is not a wise decision upfront to do it considering the fact that ua boyfriend is emotionally as well as mentally weak and I doubt on his standing up wid u at this moment.
Keep patience dear and don't loose hopes keep ur spirit alive and support not only self but ua boyfriend too, things will surely fall in your way sooner or later if h reconsider ur thoughts on the situation.
1. Keep believing wid all ua positive energy and all your feelings that u r the one who is going to marry him....what effect this will have on ua mind is it will stay calm and focused and eventually if.one good thought creeps in ua mind u will automatically find some solutions backing up as well which u may not be able to find if u stay less focused and more disturbed
2. just consider this situation as a test or a fight against society and evil customs and traditions and make up your mind to win it down any way....this will help you to pump yourself up in this situation to atleast fight with all your courage and patience and zeal to win...when three of this things combine with positive thinking it does wonder in any case...
3. To motivate u everytime in this situation, try to count on every positive things that is still alive and coming ua way and also the good times that both u have shared....what will this do is this will make ua subconcious believe that nothing has changed everything ia the same between u nd ua partner and surely this will help you to connect ua way to ua glory.
Josh me Hosh khone se kuch nai hoga.
Hosh me rehke josh ke sath kam karo or apne vicharo ko badlo apke vichar hi apke life ka adhar hai agar is situation aap apne vicharo ko galat raah dikhayenge to apke vichar apke life ko usi raah pe le jayenge...I am sending ua a pm on ua profile u kindly check it....u will find it on the notification link on top center of ua page and do reply soon....

A day before i told my boy that i planned to open my love to my parents. he cald me and convinced me a lot, whatever he says all the words are really considerable,his parents every days cries at home, they are restless, his father sometime tends to loss his conciousness acts like mad, this is all because of his siblings knw? basically my boy's family dont have much relation.they have only few relations that too his grand pa and grand ma from his mother side was little close, after his two siblings incident his grand ma stays with them in his home daily so that his parents wont try to attempt any thing wrong. when my boy leaves home to job they starts crying and when he returns back from his work they stops crying and pretended to be ok. i want to mention here few things, my boys parents are wealthy enough in olden days but they lossed all their assets due to his relations cunningness. it is only my boy mother who brought up all the three childrens with master degrees and in good job too. she just owned a petty shop spended day and nit in preparing sweets and chocolates to sell and in that way she brought up all. he tells now my mom his crying telling i spended my blood just like anything to make my childrens live happily but no children today considered me. the society laughs at me its all because of my children whom i beleived as my real asset they all gone, y should i live. my boy completed my bachelor degree in part time and simultaneously earned money to pay fees for his sibling schooling. but none of them considered anything and they just ran like anything considering only their happiness. he tells me i knw what is pain i cant live like my siblings. his grand pa once told him he will help financially to construct home but after this incident he maintains some distance from my boys family. my boy says now he & his parents are left alone from the society and we dont have anyone. my mom cries at me every day telling u too dont do the same what ur sibling did, v still live just only for u ,they started to search him girl itseems. my boy told his parents after constructing home he will marry but they are not listening him they are so eager to marry him.he asks me now in this situation how u r expecting me to tell my mom that i too love a girl and i want to marry her.he asks me the only happiness that remains for my parents is only me and its his responsibility to give them happiness. he begs me to give him life to live for their parents desire. he tells he wont live happily without me but he want to make his parents live happily. he asks me to sacrifice my love so that his parents will live atleast in this world. whoever either him or me or my parents whoever proposes our love to his parents their ultimate decision will be to die itseemz. he told me even now i can marry u by not considering my parents but if i do that, v will win in our love but v r loser in life. v ll be living after burrying my parents bodies. he asked me are u k for that? when my boy told all this things we both cried, i told him whatever it is i ll listen his word and i wont ask him again to marry me. i cried a lot he begged me to stop crying since he cant bare to see me crying.i told him to marry a girl of his parents choice. i cried a lot. but i cant stop thinking him still i pray god though 99% seems true that i cant marry my boy, i m crying to god to make that 1% possible. i cant even imagine another boy marrying me i cant imagine a girl for him too. i m praying god to make his parents choice as me.

i didnt find it in my notification link dear, kindly make it english since i dont knw hindi

See whatever has happened with ua guys family is surely unfair and I know what u r going through after all these things, but trust me ua guy is very sensitive and cares for his parents as well as for u, but atleast u shuld be proud of ua guy that he has not been so coward like his other siblings to run away n marry u....moreover he is ready to sacrifice u n his.love for u for the happiness.of.his parents, you should.really b.proud to hav a guy who has.concern.for the happiness of.parents n.their.happiness.over his.self desires.
Secondly, I want to tell u, keep patience and support ua guy and.also help his parents to.come out of that traumatic situation n let the things settle.down.a bit and then talk to them they will surely understand as they are your parents and they will always want that their child should be happy.
I just don't find it ryt to just loose the battle even before trying once, I mean whats the use of committing someone to be with them when u knw dat u will not find courage to stand up.for what is ryt....

Now check I have sent a pm to u
u may nw find it on notification are on the top centre of the page

I viewed the pm really thanks for ur concern ramani, to be true i told him i ll do as his desire, i told him i wont ask him to marry me any more, i told him to marry on his parents choice. but do u think it is what i desire from my heart, for all the hurdles that my boys parents came across what i told to my boy should be my decision too for their happiness but i love him sooo truely i cant live without him, for first few days of telling this to my boy i kept crying like anything i cant even imagine that v r not gng to live together. later i decided to support myself, without my boy no life for me ,i started to beleive myself, i beleive my love, i pray and beg to god. i beg to god to make their parents choice as me to marry his son. once i told my boy that i wont come in his life now he messages me well, shares his feeling at me, he tries to convince me to live life without him, but in this battle i want to convince him only, but i want to be so carefull in choosing my words if i say anything about possibility of our mrg he will stop messaging me but i really dont knw how well it will work out..i told my boy abt my pray for that 1% possibleness to marry him, he told if that happens in his life he will be the winner in his life, nothing more is needed for him. he very well knows if i marry him, more then my boy i ll care his parents but he dont want to once again put their parents to risk of living by conveying our love and relationship, only for that one reason he decided to give up every thing. he tells me not to cry since he is not worthy enough for my tears.how many births i take, i wont get a boy like him in my life... i dont knw how i ll live my life without him i dont ever want that to happen....he tells me if any one of his siblings lives for their parents whatevr it is he will take all the steps to marry me, since both the siblings did the same thing he tells he cant even consider his love anymore in his life....he tells his family also is in need to live with atleast some respect in this society. he dont want to destroy everything bcoz of his love.

u knw i m engg come MBA graduate, but during my MBA career for every assign and project i always depend on him i didnt do anything in my own, and thats what the reason i considered to visit him often in his home, when i turn back to see my life my boys role and responsibility towards me alone i can see, there is no priya witout my boy. if my boy is not there for me i dont have career itself. every sec in my life my boy is there...i dont knw y god always prefers to trouble the good ones, i may not be good but my boy is really soo good.

He is the super matured guy in any manner and I really appreciate your choice dear, sure enough if given a chance to marry you, he might feel the happiest person on this planet and surely enough you would do too......but I would suggest you not to beg from god you just have to keep faith in God whatever he does does for the good of yours and of your partner, I appreciate the way you think as well dear, you are ready to sacrifice your love for the happiness of his parents and your are the third person in my life whom I would like to tell you that you are the third person who is an inspiration in my life by the way you think the maturity you show.
I am not telling you to force anything right now on your boyfriend about anything this is the time for you to support him and his family mentally as well as with all your heart....show the concern, care and love towards his family, if it is possible make visits to his family and help them to get back to their normal... and always keep in mind you're not alone all our good wishes are wid you and will surely pray for you to get marry to your bf

Hi Dear Friend,


I read whatever is written above and it feels really bad to know all this. Definitely, you don't deserve all this. Noone, other than your boyfriend has an exact idea of the situation. Since we are not the part of it at all, we can hardly gauge the present scenario. He lives in that atmosphere day and night which is why he has the best of knowledge of what's happenning at his end. We can only assume on certain things from our end.
In this turbulence, you, this relationship and its future is an additional responsibility on him. For obvious reasons, he cannot leave his parents. Afterall they are living only for him. So, eventually, the axe has to fall on you. But, you being innocent, you don't deserve any of it. Why should you suffer when its not your fault at all.

I don't want to mess up the situation any further. I want something to happen that is perhaps best for all. Idea is, he gets married to a girl of his parents' choice and that girl being you. Considering all this, I adviced you certain things in my answer to your very first post...that was to pay regular visits to his place, sit with his family members and spend time with them. Understand, his parents wants him to get married to a decent and good character girl, infact every parents wants the same. With you around them, why would they consider other girls as an option? Also, with all the negative that has been formed in the society, people will find it difficult to trust them. So, if you see from one end, your prospects to marry him is substantially high.

Try considering the following situation, his parents aren't afraid of his marriage. They are just afraid, that he doesn't runs away and get married to someone else. They want him to get married and soon. Your visibility in their house, within the whole family MIGHT give them the chance to consider you as a good option as well. His parents wants him to settle down with a girl who can right now hold the whole family, take care of him and them and foster respect to everyone. So, your frequent visits to his place and natural care for him and his family MIGHT give them a chance to consider you as a good option for him, provided your boyfriend agrees to it.

Second option could be considered as sending your marriage proposal as an offer to his parents for his marriage. This requires that you put in your efforts to convince your parents who in turn talk to his parents, since both the families know each other(as you told). Also, when elders are involved in a discussion, things are discussed in a very mature manner. Let them decide your destiny. If this happens, you guys might get married to each other without a slightest of hint to his parents that you guys are engaged or in a relationship.


If possible, your boyfriend can talk to his parents giving his his views as well. He can say to his parents that they might consider you as well for his marriage, if they want primilarily because both of you know each other and the families too.

Or, he can throw the whole proposal thing on you and tell his parents that 'you proposed him couple of years or months back and he wouldn't min marrying to you, if his parents allow'. With their present image in the society, they might think of marrying him to you with much less hassel in doing so.

The basic idea is that your boyfriend takes your name casually in the family, give them a very good option, tell them that he wouldn't mind marrying you AND provide them with a loophole that its upon their descretion, its upon their will whether or not they would like him to marry you or not. This MIGHT prove hlpful as you guys will play safe. If things work out fine, you guys will also get married and his parents are also satisfied that he got married according to their wish.




Thanks for building your trust on us. We will try our level best to make things work out at your end. Good or bad, accept everything with grace. Eveything that happens, teach you a lesson worth learning in life. Keep following up.

swapnil when no choice is left for me than to consider my boys parents happiness i have to sacrifice knw! but thats is nt what i exactly want in my life. i love him lot, he loves me more than i do,he is my gift in this birth. i cant even imagine abt sacrficing and all swapnil..,my boy cried at me to sacrifice, its my responsibility to wipe his tears knw! so i said him i ll sacrifice. but really i cant even imagine that swapnil...! u knw loves is wonderfull but i really hurts when it doesnt do any wonder....

yes this are all the certain things i really have to try, for all these things to work i have to convince my boy first, now only he started to message properly that too thinking i m ready to give up, i think it ll take me more time to convince him first...bcoz wtevr i tell him, his nanosec reply is (so u r ready to kill my parents?) i dont knw how i m gng to make him listen me first, if god gave all his prob to me means u knw he would never let me waste my single drop of tears to fall on earth, he would have cared me like any thing, but i cant do anything to make him feel happy than telling i ll sacrifice which i never want to happen....