Originally Posted by smartcitizen

Hi Pulkit,
Am i the most unlucky girl in this world? Though my mom very well knows in what kind of pressure i m passing through she still irritates me by keep on asking why dont u smile? why dont u eat well? why dont u sleep well? why dont u talk well? why dont you respond me or ur dad well? why why why...all the stupid why questions...there is no message or call from my boy...i really hate everyone around me...i expect my mom to keep quiet and leave me alone all the time...but i expect my boy to talk something atleast for some time...but nothing happens...he is getting engaged 2mrw may be he is busy with that...but wont he think that how stressed i will be! wont he think of calling me and asking about my well being....!is my love doesnt touch his heart? is my love doesnt melt his heart a little? does his heart made of stone?

Hi priya,



By the time you will get this message, damage would have been done. We tried our level best, but, your boyfriend gave up I cannot blame him completely because, nothing was in his hands too.

I can understand how pathetic you must be feeling. I am not going to ask you to smile or move on now. But I just want you to

First, take care of your health. This level of mental stress is not good. It's okay, yaar. We have all experienced this pain at some point in time. It's not happening for the first time. Why do you think a forum like this has a section on Love, Relationship Advice and why a person like me is giving advises for free? We know things go wrong. All we can ever do is try. Try to mend things up, try to make them happen in a right way. Your case was completely different, where nothing was in your control. If things would have been in your hands, you would have fought a tough fight.
But I really applaud you for the efforts that you have put in to make things right. All this time, we were together and I could make out how disgusting you were feeling.

Second, take some time out and try to leave the place for a while. Go for a vacation, go out to your friend's place, go to your relatives, just move out of that place. It's very important. For all that you have been through, I guess, its time dear when you are done and you should not let these things bother you too much.
I know how you must be feeling. You want to be alone, left alone so that you can think about him, cry out loud, squeeze out the pain inside you, etc. Go for it. Book tickets, go somewhere else. Staying in that place will make things worse for you. Come back only when you feel its okay.

Don't expect a call from your boyfriend now, don't call him now. There's absolutely no point. We have been trying from past couple of months. Now, it makes no sense.

Just Relax yourself. Let it happen. Let things happen, they will happen on their own and you cannot do anything. Just cool down, cry as much as you want. Ask your mother to give you your space and time and stop shooting these questions on you. No need to explain her anything, she won't understand. Parents don't. So, its you who has to cope up with all this and nobody's going to help you out in this.

Relax, vent out every feeling, think about everything, cry out loud and burst out your emotions first. Cease contacts with your boyfriend. If I would have been at your place, I would have done the same. Would have cut off for a while from everybody till my head is light. That's what I want you to do right now. EAT PROPERLY. Like it or not, but dear don't stop eating.

We are there to help you out !!!!

HI PULKIT,
As u said everything is over now...All this months i kept on crying thinking whether the situations will favor me or not? thinking whether i will marry my boy or not? u know when i realized that everything was over i dont knw y i couldnt able to cry...may be i will burst out on the day or the day before or the day after his marriage...also as u said i already had an idea that if he is not gonna marry me then i should cease contact with him go away from him etc etc...but i didnt spend a single day without talking to him...i tried but i cant cease my contact with him... he too suffers a lot knw...he is marrying a girl who is not even a single percent as my boy expected...she is 3 yrs elder than him...his pain is too large than mine...atleast he should have a soul by his side to whom he can share his worries...no one can be his side than me...wherever i go to deviate myself but still i will keep thinking whether he is doing good or not...thats k pulkit whatever happens let it happen but nothing can stop me from being his support all the time...i know i will go insane on the day of his marriage, i will burst out but i will be ok i guess after some days...i would have felt happy if my boy marries a girl from his caste who best fits for him but i dont know y nothing favours my boy...this really hurts me...my boys life is at stake know...?

Hi priya,


I have a deep understanding towards your emotions and I know how bad you must be feeling. But, lets not forget, things have been done, damage has be done. He is engaged to her and soon will be marrying her. They will soon become a couple, a married husband and wife and will soon enter into a matrimonial alliance.

In such a situation, if you're there with him, if you're still in contacts with him, don't you think his would be wife ( that elder girl ) might accuse him of having a extra marital affair with you ?

Priya, you're thinking from one side. You are just thinking that your boyfriend is in a compromising state marrying a girl who is 3 years elder to him. But, dear, broaden up your thinking. That girl has also married your boyfriend because she had no options. She never loved your boyfriend, but was forced to marry him. Don't you think she would be feeling equally bad about this marriage as your boyfriend ?

Priya, in few months time, she will come to his house as a newly wedded bride. You are very well aware of his family's position, aren't you ? So, she has also compromised in her life and there's a lot for her to still compromise in her future. Your boyfriend loves you and he will always do. He won't ever be able to love this new girl ( his own wife ) for entire life time. Don't you think its so wrong for her to have a husband who is younger to her and will never love her ? After all, she has come into his life to take care of him and help him, make him rise as an individual, love him and take care of his family. What will she get in return ?? Nothing.


So, there's already too much of tensions and roughness in his life. If you stay with him, there's a fair chance that you might land him into more troubles. Also, now he will get married and will have a wife. She will never like you to be anywhere around him. Accept it or not, but you have really lost every rights over him. And, this is something you guys chose.

So, stay away from him and do not create any more troubles in his life. They are a mature couple and they will handle themselves. Be assured, your boyfriend is in safe and secure hands and his wife will take good care of him.
He is not a kid to be taken care of. If you'll involve yourself too much into him, you might create bigger issues.

Leave him. And cease contacts with him. You too have a life, don't forget.

Hi Pulkit, May be u r right...I will try to stay away from him...All my intention is to make my boy stay happy forever thats why i thought to be in touch with him, i thought to keep supporting him all the time. but if that will damage my boys life further, then i will never ever do that...though i support him or not i will ever miss him that pain will stay in my heart for the entire life...there is nothing more for me to lose in my life...but all i need is i want him to be happy...Thanks Pulkit

Originally Posted by smartcitizen

Hi Pulkit, May be u r right...I will try to stay away from him...All my intention is to make my boy stay happy forever thats why i thought to be in touch with him, i thought to keep supporting him all the time. but if that will damage my boys life further, then i will never ever do that...though i support him or not i will ever miss him that pain will stay in my heart for the entire life...there is nothing more for me to lose in my life...but all i need is i want him to be happy...Thanks Pulkit

Hi priya,


Good to see that you realized the gravity of situation. Yes, there's no doubt that your presence around him will create problems in his life. He is getting married in some time to come.

For you, I would suggest to come out of that place and spend somewhere out. Do you have any relatives anywhere else in India? If so, you should go to them. I know its not a very decent solution but dear, you have to move on in life too. This pain will remain in your heart forever, but, that doesn't mean its the end. There's still a lot for you to see in life.

So, stay strong lady. You have done enough of crying but now its time for you to think about yourself only.

I really appreciate for all the effort and struggle you have put in to have him beside you.