Relationship with parents got sour due to love marriage

Unregistered · 07-02-2014, 05:40 AM

HI. I'am a 28 year old female working as a teacher in delhi. I was in love with a boy who was from the same caste. i told my parents about him but they were dead against him as they had high expectation for a son in law. after two years of rigorous conflict with my parents i married that person without telling anyone in court. we hid our marriage and kept living at our individual homes for 5 months. in that course i kept convincing my parents but they were hell bent that they wont agree and even then if want to marry him i must marry on my own and then they will disown me forever. after 5 months during such high intensity drama i told them about my marriage. then all my family members had a small reception for us where my parents were present. they dint had any interaction from the boy's side. but we were given a reception publicly and i was sent off. Now situation is that my father never picks my calls. my mother never calls me but i call her daily and tell about my day to day things. she talks nicely but its only an information transfer no emotional thing. my extended family members talk to me. iam very happily married and we as a couple have great understanding. its been 7 months but i hav not seen my parents. though i talk to my mom daily but she never asks about my husband or anyone related to my in laws. do u think my relationship with my parents will ever get nice.............????

07-04-2014, 03:07 AM

Hello,
Situations can change, so be optimistic and do all you and your husband can do to show them that you both care and love them. You have to also consider the fact that atleast they had come for your reception and your mom listening to you when you call. You and your husband would have to make extra efforts to bring their hearts back,since you have good relationship with your husband, he may even help you to achieve this. Even if they do not come to see you, you both can go and visit them, take them gifts from the heart, especially from your husband. They may change slowly with time, especially when they realize that perhaps they were wrong about your husband.
And turn to the Divine and Spirituality, that is,keep helping couples and singles seeking love and marriage, and also help elderly people through out your life; all this is good karma / action, and can change one's destiny for the better.

Wish you the best,
Dr.SKy
(allopathic dr.,relationship advisor, spiritualist)

07-05-2014, 12:36 AM

Hi
Normally we do see such an attitude of parents only when the marriage is inter-caste.As in your case this is a same caste marriage,so there are only 2 probable reasons :
1.The difference of financial status between the families.
2.Any case of personal rivalry.
If it is personal rivalry,then it is only u and ur husband who have to sort it out.

But the situation is more complex if the reason for your parents attitude is "the financial status".Notably, you may say that you are happy in ur married life,u hv a grt ,caring and loving partner............,but, in real time situations and for your parents these points have got no or very less significance.You may argue,but the fact wil be the "Silence of your Parents"...In time you might be lucky to have a slight change in their rude attitude,but notice that time is not the only healer,rather love or say sacrifice will be the sole reason.

Your marriage is a clear outcome where patience was never a word of commitment among any of you.It could have been better if any of you had patience or the courage of sacrifice. Dont get me personally, but had any of you tried to resolve the issue before ur marriage,it would hv been "perfect". Let me explain:

1.Patience-"If the reason is the financial status difference,as it seems from ur post, then it would hv been really easy for u.All u had to do was to enhance the status of ur in-laws.Had u commited ur boy to level-up or speed -up in life,situations would hv been completely different.And let me remind you that success is just a decision away and for those who can find love its just a matter of time.
(Note- Dont have those idealist conservative ideas, that love alone triumphs, or that love is enough...becoz eventually u will realise that its not.)"

2.Courage of sacrifice-"It requires enormous patience.And can be of use only when the boundaries of patience have yielded.
(Note- Not going into how sacrifice could hv made ur relations better, as it requires patience, which seems to be practically nil as in ur case.)"

I hv seen cases in which financial abilities have outshone caste or even religious boundaries.

Now in the present case
U can try wht u didn't do earlier.& Plz be patient.

With best wishes
adyan27

Relationship with parents got sour due to love marriage

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Relationship with parents got sour due to love marriage

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