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Infidelity in relationship, please advice me

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  1. #1
    Worried Male
    Worried Male is offline Just in!

    Unhappy Infidelity in relationship, please advice me

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    I'm in a relationship with a girl for 2 years now, this is my first love, she has already had 2 ex bfs, she admitted having physical relationship with both on numerous occasions, yet she is a virgin, with first one being in school (parents accepted love), had physical relation during holidays for 3 months, second one in college, had physical both in her and his place numerous times (unknown to parents), she forced me into loving her after breaking up with her 2nd ex (he had one ex b4 her), she conveniently revealed about the details on 2nd ex after 3 months into our relationship, i felt it was okay cuz she mustered up the courage to reveal such things, and she regretted being with him, then after a year and half, revealed about 1st ex, i got angry but i was in too much love so i had to forgive her, yet she didnt regret being with him and all, she is extremely possessive of me, she gets angry even if i accidentally see a girl, or if a girl speaks to me, including if i say something good about any actress, i lost many of my friends who were girls just because she didnt liked them, i never tried to make any friend who was girl from then, but she can check and comment on any boy, she can display her likeliness towards any actor, including his physique, cuteness, and all and i had to adjust with her, if i argue about this, she always creates a drama, crying, hatespeech. I was putting with all these things just cuz i loved her so much, she did loved me much too. But about 6 months b4 from now she started having memories about his 1st ex, so she spoke to him about this, i got angry, i asked her not to do so, but we ended up pseudo breaking up and i hope she didnt continued to talk with him after that. Then about a month b4 for the first time we were physically together, she was totally unsatisfied with it and said it on my face, this was my first time and she had much experience b4 me, i think i wasnt upto the mark, it was hurting when she said it straight to my face and again she is still a virgin and so do i. Recently she met someone in her work, a married guy with 2 children, at first she was complaining he was flirting, then later she was praising how great he was, i didnt cared much after all he is married, but one day she told me that she had feelings for him and so does he as they both revealed it to each other and then clarified it as wrong and wanted to friends, now this being infidel on both the sides, for that married guy as well as her, yet i said its okay and asked her to avoid him, but she started saying to stop me from advising her and went on being friends with him. I concluded by saying her this wont workout and broke up with her, and yet again i made up my mind and asked to talk to her but only got to know that they both were chatting. Im broken now, i loved her so much and ended up like this. few things about myself, i stopped watching **** for her, i couldnt check out any girls because my love for her forbade me, im arguing type, very strong on my side, never behaved rude and never swore a bad word, weak hearted, cried a few times. I still need her. Please advice me on this. Was breaking up with her a good idea?

  2. #2
    Ricky
    Ricky is offline eTI Silver
    Hi, welcome to eTI forum,

    I will try to keep it short and simple for you, what you explained and faced, shows that this girl is very immature , psychologically unstable and most probably she is suffering from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), you may search online about it. Around 1% of people are affected by this and majority of them are women.

    Now coming to the other aspect of your relation, I am sure more than love, you have sympathy for this girl and you are more behaving like a care taker for her, fulfilling all her wishes and making her happy. But in return, you are receiving only trouble and indirect mental harassment. I hope you agree. The example that she told you she was not satisfied bluntly is more than enough to know what kind of menace she is.

    You know, she started relationship with you when she broke up with her EX as she was looking for mental and emotional support to overcome the plight of her last breakup. So, there are chances that for her you are not love but only an affair and her recent inclination towards towards her Ex, talking to him was one of the worst thing she did and then this new married guy. You

    If you want to live happy, end this relationship gradually (without any direct breakup) and look for someone who can stood by you when you need her and who can understand you better. Being in wrong relationship is worst than having no relationship. I know you love her but if you love yourself then end this now.

  3. #3
    swapnilramani's Avatar
    swapnilramani
    swapnilramani is offline eTI Iron
    Ricky has said it correctly,
    It is more of a concern and care than love, this might seem a bit harsh on u, but the fact is that, u provided her the emotional support at time when she needed it, which was what she was looking for, she didn't had any feelings on u, since she had to overcome the emptiness and loneliness that had been created in her life due to that breakup, she choosed to b wid u, once she was able to cope up wid that she choosed her own way.
    I will suggest you to put this to an end as soon as possible as it is a better option for ur happiness and ur sake, even if she desires to come back one day to u, you should not b ready to accept her again, as she might do the same in future too, taking the advantage if what sge knows u feel for her and again dumping u once her need is fulfilled...
    The best way to deal wid dis is to put a fullstop to this relationship or rather a formal baby sitting I would say and be happy and be urself, u deserve someone better who can accept u wid all ua flaws and provide u comfort and freedom to live on ua own, whom u will surely meet, this girl definitely is in no way gud for u......

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