Hello everyone.
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I am in a great dilemma. well right now i am 18 years old and i am in a serious relationship with a guy name him "xyz" who is 4 years older to me. which means he is an college. he tried to woo me for 3 years, and in these 3 years he was madly in love with me. We don't used to meet because i wasn't allowed to. Also in these 3 years i was in a relationship with 1 of my classmate. after 1 year of relation that guy ditched me.knowing the fact i was committed he continued to love me and stood by my side post my break up.

Again after 1 year of 'being single' I realized that Mr. xyz was the one who gave me a reason to smile, a reason to live because after my break up i was completely shattered. I felled for this guy. I realized he is the 1 made for me. then we started dating. after being in this relationship for quite a time we had to take a break because of our studies. also we decided that exactly after 1 year we will again start dating and meeting.

but the main problem is this girl name her abc who studies in the same college and same class in which my bf he. He had a crush on that girl before we started dating. he tried to date her but she refused always. he tried for 1 year. during this course of time i stepped into his life. our relationship is just next to perfect relationship. though we fight sometime but we love each other a lot and i really want to spend my entire life with him. i know he completes me and this time i am making no mistake. i know he too loves me a lot and can do anything for my smile.

so now this abc might be a bit pretty, and even while we were in a relationship xyz still had some feelings left for that girl. i hate that girl but i never ordered my bf to talk to someone or not. he is the king of his choice.
she has a name but my bf tagged her as "crush". this literally killed me.

well now my biggest point of concern is he might develop much more feelings for abc. he might date her, fell in love with her, he might even FORGET ME in this 1 year. and this might happen because he is with that girl all of the time in the classroom. also i am not able to give him enough time he deserves because of my studies i am so tensed these days thinking of him leaving me. i haven't slept properly for more than a month. i just don't want to loose him. i want him to love me more than i do. i really need some calmness tips.

please help me.
PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO READ ANY NEGATIVE REPLIES TELLING ME THAT HE MIGHT DUMP ME. BECAUSE I CANNOT TAKE ANY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS TO DOMINATE MY MIND.

i just need your help and some calmness tips.. tell me ASAP.

Dear Shanaya,

I will try to keep it brief and straightforward, but its all upto you how you take it.

So, you know you are depressed, your studies are disturbed due to this mental pressure. And you have been facing this from almost a month, now you have decided to seek help online. Good for the last part because sometimes all you need is right direction.

What I feel is that your anxiety about him for falling for her crush is completely justified but on the other hand, everyone had crush in their life and I guess all of them remember it for their whole life and there is nothing wrong to remember a crush. However, if that crush makes advancement at the time when you both are not in touch, things may turn other way.

Hence, my suggestion to break off for 1 year is wrong, be in touch with him, go for date but with certain restrictions like talking once day and talking for 10 minutes so that you know what he is doing, dating once a month and like that. I don't think this way you will disturb your studies, rather you will find your self more energetic and concentrated.

So, that what I have to say, could go on but will love to hear whats your put here ?

Hi Aarish,

thank you so much for answering my query. I really needed someone to help me out.

I just wanted to say that although we have decided not to talk but yeah its like we do sometimes talk over phone and we have once met also (well that was just for few minutes). but we talk in every 5-6 days. It is difficult for both of us not to talk at all. Today also we share our problems with each other, comfort each other.

My only worry is his past crush only. I just want him to love me only. I certainly have no problem if he is friend with her. But this "crush-thing" sometimes make me feel insecure. And that's just because he mean everything to me.

'm just a bit possessive about him. but again thanks for your precious reply. i hope it'll work for me.

One thing I need to tell you that don't ask too many question, you know if you get too possessive then the other person starts feel relation as a burden. I guess best policy would be to remain in touch, enjoy your relation and forget about anything else.

Looking forward to see you around.