Hi M Payal 26 years old ..I m Hindu (Daivadnya Brahmin).I love a guy who is 4 years elder to me...He is a Jain.he belong s to a Well reputed family and his parents have also agreed for our relation.We know each other since from 8 - 10 months.He is very understanding,open minded,caring and responsible person.We are planning to move forward.but still now I have not informed my family about this.they are very traditional. They think that doing love marriage means its a black mark to their reputation and prestige.They are not my real parents.(They have just brought up me,he is my mother's bro,i have lost my parents at the early age of life as I was 5 years old).I dont want to hurt them but at the same time m sure that they will not except our relation.What shud I do?His parents are ready and we are planning for a court marriage first and then we are thinking to inform them.But the question is Would it be right to do so?how to proceed to inform them after court marriage.There is no one who can stand by my support on my side .What should I do?Please suggest.

If boy's parents are in support already, then why don't you ask them to directly go to your parents and give proposal of marriage. I know in Hindu family its not tradition to give proposal by boy's family. They may go through alternate channel to inform them that they are looking for you as bride for their ward.

Going through proper channel is better, if you marries in court then it will really hurt them, there first reaction would be your feeling of betrayal by you. Just go to them with positive attitude and hope, who knows , they might agree ?

Thanks for ur advice..........hoping for the Best

I had asked my partner to say this dad to speak to with my family.But the problem is he says that cant say my family might go out of the way and insult his parents.They dont have problem to come and speak but he will allow his parents to meet my family only when these people invite.....What to do?

I understand , what I am suggesting that instead of just directly going to them, try to go through some channel where someone reputable or respectable is involved. Say, an uncle whose has influence over your family and then he asks your family to meet boy's family. That way the meet will be more meaningful and logical. I could be anyone , not just uncle.. but should be respectable and well received by your family.

Hope you understand what I am saying.

Thanks...........I got it........I will first try and find out the correct person who can put up this in front of my family

I am not finding anyone in my support what to do?please suggest .........one of my masi is there who stays in Ahmedabad she is bit broad minded .last time when she visited my place he had said me that if I have any one in my mind whom I like then i shud say her about that person but...........after she reached ahmedabad i tried to call her thrice to say her about us but she just ignored me ............so m not sure that whether she will b in my support or not.....please suggest me....what shud b my next step

I am not finding anyone in my support what to do?please suggest .........one of my masi is there who stays in Ahmedabad she is bit broad minded .last time when she visited my place he had said me that if I have any one in my mind whom I like then i shud say her about that person but...........after she reached ahmedabad i tried to call her thrice to say her about us but she just ignored me ............so m not sure that whether she will b in my support or not.....please suggest me....what shud b my next step

This is something you have to decide, its because you know your family better. It doesn't matter if masi is open-minded , what matter is how much that person is respected by your family. You have to think out of the box, it could be even some neighbour but only if he is well connected to your family. It could be also some elder person , but it again all depends.

Why not to talk to your Mom or may be sister or brother (if have some) , take their advises .

Even the solution of this problem will be complicated ..!

I dont think that anybody will help me ...........So I have finally decided to get married without their concern and then going a way

I don't suggest going against them and marrying without taking their consent. Though you will get married, you will get your love but there will be many complication, not to remind the pain you will give to parents as well as yourself. It may even affect your married life.

Why not give some more time and see if you can find some other to confront your parents as well as get them agreed ?

You are right even i agree with you..........even i dont want to hurt anyone......but at the same time dont want to leave him also ...............just pray to God that he will send someone for my help

Hi friends.........

Today m very happy...........i convienced my masi and told her all about me and my bf relation she is ok with it and even my cousin is supporting me ......but still have got long to do.My masi suggest that its impossible to convience my family members becoz thy r dame sure that they wont agree..she is suggesting me to do court marriage and go with my fiance.....becoz my masi is saying she is with me forever but family ko convience kare jab pata hai kuch hoga nahi its a waste.........wt shud I do?

Its a small but positive step but if you go for court marriage, it will be again complicated situation, as Arish bro said, you will definitely hurt your parents. If you your Masi is in favour , why not your mother too. They both are sister to each other, I am sure things will be good soon.

I think court marriage should be last resort and avoided as much as possible.

And why you are assured that your family will not accept your relation ? What if you can convince your family to show it as arrange marriage instead of love marriage. I mean, why not show this as a marriage fixed by parents to society, this way it will not hurt their social status at all ?


Try to have conversation with other people like your brother or sister along with Masi to get more help. I also think that you should not involve too many person. Should be only limited and important person only.