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Loosing concentration on studies because of parent's opposing my marriage

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  1. #1
    gurneetkaur
    gurneetkaur is offline Just in!

    Loosing concentration on studies because of parent's opposing my marriage

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    HI ALL,
    i am indian 23 year old sikh girl..I am in love with a hindu brahmin boy.we both graduated from same college and its been almost 3 years of our relationship..somehow my family got to know about him in the WORST SCENARIO possible(my family read our secrets chat and some personal photos of ours on my phone).so they have a bad verryyy bad opinion of him.they literally HATE him..although my family is very conservative so they were already not very supportive of intercaste marriage..but i am doing CA as well as he is doing the same.i have to stay at home and study because my classes got over its been 6 months or more we guys are not able to meet.my parents are so protective about me now..they are trying to control me...my boyfriend suggest that he and I should study harder that will solve all the issues in the long run and when we will be successful our parents will listen to us as well as consider our love.but i am not able to concentrate at all on my studies because my mom rant and abuse me almost everyday by saying we would not get you married to him at any cost,she would kill me or i am the prestige of my house or they would leave me forever if i ever married to that guy.I am not able to study because of this and i have my exams in around 3 months.i have come into depression because of them all i do everyday is think cry sleep watch youtube and do stupid stuff..i am soo demotivated that i think nothing is gonna get better although on the other side my boyfriend is trying really hard for the upcoming CA exams as he feels he needs to have a great job to convince my parents as well as he is very rich lifestyle and money oriented he wants to become rich and successful..everyday my mom rants talk bad abuses me i cry otherwise get angry and release all my frustration on him.and he sitting on his study table all focussed listens to my rants and recently he started crying too as why i am not letting him study...i have no self control..i am 95 kilos girl at 5 feet 4 inches..i emotional eat everyday..i think nothing will change even if i become CA my parents will get me married to a guy of their choice..i am in love with this guy..i have become DESTRUCTION for him as well as myself..i was not like this during graduation but from the day my family got to know about this they have almost destroyed me completely..when i was 20 or something i used to think that when i ll be successful earning in tons at the age of 25 my parents will agree for this guy but i am here a loser demoitvated hurt lost everything at the age 0f 23 with no career no supportive family unstable relationship with my boyfriend(just because of me) and overweight..i am the definition of LOSER!! help me !!!!!!

  2. #2
    Aarish Rizvi's Avatar
    Aarish Rizvi
    Aarish Rizvi is offline eTI Bronze
    Hi Gurneet, welcome to eTI.

    I do understand that it is sometimes very hard to cope with such things. From the way you have explained things I can see you are an intelligent girl but things you are facing are too much for you to withstand.

    My advice is to do following things:

    1. First and foremost, do not talk about your boyfriend to your parents, even if they are taunting about him , just do not answer and ignore it. I know its hard but somewhere your parents are also in depression because of all this. I am also sure that are not happy seeing you in this situation.

    2. If they ever discuss about him, then simply say you have dropped the idea of marriage altogether till you finishes your study, you have forgotten him as his name is causing feud between you and your parents as well as studies. But in real, you are just making them happy, this will give you peaceful atmosphere for a while. (

    3. Your boyfriend is right, I have seen people changing, situation changing when you get a position and status in society. I am sure your parents will too change although it may not look easy but don't loose hope. My request is to believe in your boyfriend and be co-operative with him. Its not easy for him to see you in trouble.

    4. I know you know about your health issues, you are brave enough to admit that you are over-weight. Now you need to show same bravery to control your weight, do you know if by-change your parent agreed for your marriage then his parents will not allow due to your weight. So, right from today, start healthy life, eat less than your appetite everytime, and when you feel hungry then drink "Lime-water" to suppress your hunger. Eat Bitter / dark chocolate in small quantity (with less sugar) to uplift your mood when you feel low and hungry. Do you know the day you starts loosing weight, you will see things turning in favour already.

    And lastly, stop finding bad in everything, there is always a brighter side, start looking for it. For example, if your parents are denying then they are actually making circumstances for you and your boyfriend to study hard and prove yourself to them. This will ultimately help you both only in future.

    And , please keep in touch and keep us updating here so that we can guide you.

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