The other day my friends and l were having a discussion. I would like to share some of the points and plan of action we decided to take that day.
Does and Don’ts in a relationship
For newly weds it is a new time and the begging of a new life. You may feel that you know your spouse very well, but you will be surprised by the fact that you need to understand the person much better. This is because at the time of courtship, everyone is a good behavior and will put their best foot forward. Later you come to know that you have to live with the person just as he/she is or he/she is not. So spend the time in getting to know each other better.
Never extend the fight for more than 24 hours, in fact even less. Even if you are right, leave your ego aside and amend matters immediately. After all the relationship is important, not the fight. Don’t forget you are being watched by several people and anyone can easily make out a couple who has fought by their body language. Well they may not be important, but so what, your relationship certainly is.
Most of the times, I have noted that the couples fight over trifle issues or because of someone else. For eg. The mother in law said something and the wife talks about it to her husband, who in turn tries to pacify her. She gets even wild and accuses him of not understanding her. Well no son is going to go against his mother. (No child should in fact.) Well what has the husband done to receive the cold shoulder? A good thing to do here is to sort out the problem by yourself in any way that seems best to you. If involving him solves your problem, then by all means do so. But if not, then why create a rift between yourselves unnecessarily?
Every body has friends, but give your trust only after trying that person time and time again. And more so if he/she is also a friend of your spouse. Speak about general topics and avoid personal discussion with such friends who are in contact with your spouses family. Anything that you may say, will travel very fast. And don’t get yourself involved in their problems. Give good advice but let them make a decision.
Communicate. Communication solves lots of problems and allows you to be on the same wave length. Take active interest in whatever your spouse is interested in. you will find that in time, they want to come and share their feelings and thoughts with you. After all you know what the topic is and can also make reasonable comments regarding the same. Never say that you don’t understand the subject , even if you don’t, learn. The reason is very simple really; we will want to talk to a person who knows what we are talking about. So why not be that person.
Regards,
Farida H B
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