I am a foreigner of non-Indian descent living in India for the past four years. My boyfriend's parents are from India but he was born and raised his whole life in Europe. He's mid-30s and I am in my late 20s.
I know his parents want him to get married soon and are OK with him having a love marriage, and with marrying a non-Indian and I think he feels ready to start a family too. Thing is that I need a bit more time before making such a commitment because I don't want to make a mistake or rush into something that is for the rest of my life! I think he agrees that we need more time first, but at the same time he feels really ready to start this next chapter in his life.
So I was showing him a ring I bought and he jokingly mimicked placing a ring on my wedding finger.and then asked how I would react if he did do that for real. I responded with a joke saying "depends on what the ring looked like" to brush it off for now. But I know it is on his mind.
His parent are visiting soon and I know there will be a lot of pressure, so I am a little nervous. My fear is that he might propose more to please his family and get on with it rather than out of a sincere desire to be with me forever. As a westerner and a very very independent one at that, I am unsure that I want such a situation!
And his parents are coming to visit very soon and I know the pressure will be on as soon as they step off the plane! He's the youngest and the last in his family to not be married yet and his parents are getting older.
How do I proceed? Part of me wants to just encourage him to get a "arranged" marriage because maybe it's what's bes for him, but if we do decide to marry I want it to be because of us and not because it's the right time or whatever. At the same time, I wouldn't mind considering marriage, but I just need to be sure it's because of us and not because of them or his own timing. I do understand that in most Indian families, marriage involves a lot more people than just the bride and groom.
Any advice?
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