Im a girl from Tamil Nadu and my boyfriend is Punjabi and settled in Rajastan. We both met during our Engineering in chennai and fell in love. We are in relation of 5 years now. We both got job in same IT firm in bangalore. My family is too much conservative and strict and very much caste oriented. I am well aware of family that they will never accept but still can't live without him. We have good understanding and care for each other. He said in home recently but they were not in position to accept. A month ago they got a marriage proposal in my home and they called me to come home, i was unaware of the situation and went. They showed me the guy's photo and asked my consent. I got scared and panicked and told them that i like some one else(which was biggest mistake of my life). They got furious house arrested me and made me forcibly resign my job. I was in home for a month may 2014 i said i will prepare upsc but cant marry that guy whom they told me to. Finally, since my family had financial problems and my company was going to file absconding case for not serving notice period, either i had to pay 3 month salary or get back to pay notice period. I some how managed to get out on loads of conditions, to visit home every week, to get transfer to chennai and not to stay in bangalore, to marry the guy whom they say. My relatives were not letting me come out till last min, it was gods grace i escaped. They even took all my certificates and then sent me. I have time till aug to go chennai. The torture is not going to end here. They will not stop until i agree, they went beyond limit to force me. My relatives were poison in spoiling my life. My boyfriends parents even came to state of accepting after hearing this.
Is there nay suggestion or idea anyone can share, that u have faced or resolved. Because even i do a court marriage i need my certi for it and even i do , they will find me and kill me or my BF. My family is so barbarious and heartless. Please suggest, there is no way im sacrificing my life.

That is really too much trauma you have faced, I can't understand the level of stress it must be creating on you .. I mean all these situations and incidents.

Now there are two ways to live life...

1. Live the way life takes you...
OR
2. Take the life the way you like...

Probably you are looking for the second option and is not easy always. Sometimes just because people are following option #1, they get things automatically they want, even without trying much. But its not always, sometimes people just gets locked inside the cage they created , realizes their mistake very late, when there is no path to return.

Since you want to mend life in your ways, I hope you understand if you give up now, you could be among those prisoners, struggling whole life to get out of it. Your marriage to someone else will not even spoil your life, but life of your then husband, life of this guy you love, life the children you will have as probably your marriage will be full of hiccups and will affect your children, in return they may get scared to married life, may get depressed for whole life, may feel insecure ... and list goes on, not to forget, you may loose your mental balance later.... your husband may cheat on your because of your repetitive depressing behaviour, you may also cheat on him as you never got your own love...

So, if you can help to understand those consequences I just made in details to your family, hopefully they can understand the mistake they are going to make.

Without going any further...
Good luck ... !

Hello,
If you feel that your family is barbarious and can kill you or you BF, then you have a difficult
road ahead. If your parents have made such threats against you then it is far worse than
having your other family members doing the same.
At any case,you have very few avenues for your wish,first pray for God's mercy, and see if you
have any relatives or family friends who can side with you and can change their barbaric outlook against
you. If you and your BF really cannot live without each other,and have thought about and can deal with the consequences you will be facing in life with court marriage, from barbarism to being outcasts from your family,and you are still deciding to go with the option of court marriage,then prior to that you have to make arrangements of leaving all traces behind in the places you & your BF are residing and find a safe haven or leave the country for good for your own safety. One has to also consider about your boyfriend's family's safety also.
You would have to approach a lawyer for such situations; the govt. can prevent forced marriages.
Try to buy time from your parents and try not to act in haste.
And turn to the Divine(for God is love) and spirituality, that is help couples and singles seeking love and marriage, and perhaps God will show a solution.


Wish you the best,
DR.Sky
(Allopathic Doctor, Relationship Advisor, Spiritualist)

Hi Aarish,
Thanks for you reply it gave me good amount of confidence reading those lines i would definitely opt option 2. I'm no more going to compromise and spoil my life , or some guy whom i marry and kids who would be born, nothing was their fault. It's better to stay single in that case. I can't take such a big sin on my head for which i wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I understood what you said exactly, yes my life path is going to be hard but its better to take in the problem rather giving up. Thank you for you advise. Just because this is India and i'm a girl people take advantage. I hope there will come a day where all this changes starting from me.

Hi Dr.SKy,
I see you are a Relationship ad-visor also a spiritualist, which is a rare combination i have seen. First i wanted to thank you for reading my post and providing your valuable suggestions. I'm a very big devotee of Lord Shiva (Hindu Religion) As you pointed out i strongly believe on God and it's because of him i'm still holding on. I spend 2 out of 7 days fasting in a week. I stopped having non veg 4yrs back , not a day passed that i have not meditated on god's name. I have already taking those options you have said, if i have to be with him i have to go out of country or be on a high power if stay in India. But my heart feels guilt, why should i run? When i'm not wrong also i know how societies in India speak about my parents if i take that step. I personally never want to take that step and so my BF too(his family name and security too has to be considered). I dont know is going to happen next, but i would never bend down and spoil my future rather face the war. I would try and postpone as possible, the ways parents play by doing emotional blackmail, i would adopt similar techniques towards them. But why does it have to be so difficult why can't they take things light? I guess this is how India is. I would surely take up what u have suggested thank you.

Hello,

Make a vow and recite the below daily(avoid verses 355,608,639, since one should only want good for all).
It is a prayer request(quite powerful) to Goddess Parvathi Devi.
Along with your prayers, help Couples and singles seeking love and marriage, perhaps you will find a peaceful resolution in your life.
Together with this, think smartly and act wisely.

Website:
Goddess Lalithambigai Lalitha Sahasranamam with meanings


http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ds-dr-sky.html

Wish you the best,
Dr.Sky