Hi my name is Pradip.i am 27year old guy. I have a girlfriend and we are in relationship since 3 years. We are in long distance relationship. we talk by chat through sms. Initially we were friend but after some months we felt in love. we always talk on sms and hardly on call once in a month.I am working in Bank. I love her very deeply. I never attention to any girl except her. She also loves me to much. I cant live without her and want to marry with her. We chatting on cell daily night none of day gone off that we were not chat. We understand each other very well but problem is that nowadays i desire to have sex with her. Initially i never gives attention to have sex but now i feel like that. I talked to my girlfriend about this then she hates my desire. She said me that i can not marry with u because of my family problem and i can not sex before marriage. This mean that she would neither marry with me nor sex. She only wanted to me that i stay with her untill one of us will not get marry. I am so frustated because of her thought. We quarell from last 8 months but we are not agreed with each other thought. Whenever i talk about sex with her She saying me that she scare about sex she never think about this untill now. she wont have feel like to have sex with me. She saying she trust me lovesme cares me but cant sex. Now i am feeling so insecure about my love I dont wanna loose or cheat her but i am so frusted about this. Is sex neccessary in love ? Plz help me.

Hi Pradip,

SEX COULD BE IMPORTANT BUT SEX IS NOT NECESSARY IN LOVE.




Pradip, you need to understand few things first.

1. There is a difference in ways boys and girls expect out of a relationship. Where boys are more inclined towards establishing a physical relationship, girls on the other hand are more emotionally involved in a relationship. For them, sex is important but not necessity, atleast in the starting years of relationship.

2. Your girlfriend's insecurity towards establishing a physical relationship with you is 100% genuine. As stated, your family and/or her family might not agree to this relationship in future. In such an event, what do you think will happen to her if she had a physical relationship with you? The person whom she would might get married to might as well raise a question on her character, which definitely would be highly wrong and unacceptable.

3. Like the way you described your relationship in your problem statement, it looks to me you guys are not very much into each other. What kind of a relationship is this where you guys dont grt a chance to meet in months, where there is no talking and only way of communication is over chat messages.
Dear friend, when you are in true love your heart longs for your partner, you feel the connection, you miss the person, there's an urge to meet and see your partner, talk ho him or her, listen to his/her voice. I am sorry to say, but I am not able to see that connection here.
To me it seems, you are two good friends who just like each other's company over chat.


So, in my opinion, you should not force her for sex. If its gonna happen, it will happen. But before that to happen, you need to make her sure that no matter what you will stay with her.

When jou establish a physical relationship, there's a pyschological side attached to it. You get very close to the other person and you define a different level of relationship.

So, my advice, do not indulge in sex just for fun. It has really deep meaning when you're in a relationship. Do not fight over this with your girlfriend. Respect her decisions too. And, most importantly do not play with her emotions. Do it when you're serious about marriage.