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Complicated relationship(age, trust, time and need of freedom)

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  1. #1
    Lovelife24
    Lovelife24 is offline Just in!

    Unhappy Complicated relationship(age, trust, time and need of freedom)

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    Hi, m a Indian christian.M not married yet. I feel i need help badly now.I had crush on a gal a year back and felt great when i spoke to her. She too spoke to me nicely and i took things in a wrong way. She told lets be friends, but i asked her for a relationship.She was not sure and told me to wait if i really wanted her that badly. Her daily life made me feel that she was avoiding me and i felt frustrated. But she was always right her on her part. My thinking was wrong.During this time i got a new friend whom i felt very close.She was 1 year, 2 months elder than me. I started speaking to her and after a month i just proposed her for fun. She accepted. I thought it was the easiest way to have a girlfriend,and we started a relationship. We both loved each other and trusted each other so much.I asked her bout ma gal frens nd i told her that i just had crush on a gal i told u previously.And then i asked her about her boyfrens if any. She told me never she had one, and that only many guys were behind her but she never accepted their proposal. I felt very special and was happy. But there was always some negative things in my mind , i dint know what., something like she s such a easy kinda girl, u just speak to her nicely and she is ready to go to any extent.. We used to speak a lot, have fun, go out roam around, watch movies, unfortunately started being physical with each other. Everything looked so good, my mom even got a doubt when i had got her home for lunch. My mom used to say me that i should not promise her of marriage coz anything could happen in future.I dint care then. But now after 8 months of this relationship, i jus felt too bonded and donno why started thinking of the future.I was so worried wat my entire family and parents would go through if i married or even thought about a girl who was almost a year and a half elder to me. I was just getting into a new job and things were not as easy as we dreamt about. I just started feeling like telling her to end this relationship. but i did not want to hurt her. I respect her a lot. I wanted her happiness. The only guilty feeling for me was that she was nw nt a virgin . When i spoke bout this to ma frens , dey told things lke dis happen. She wil forget it someday and everything wil b fine. Finally i decided a day and told her. She jus felt so bad and started cryin. But the person who cried more was me. I just wanted her to understand a thing that once she marries to someone whom her parents show her she would b doin fine.But she always said" i cant marry anyone els. i trusted u loved u , gave u maself and u did this to me?? I thought u wer the one, u r ma everything, m ready to do anything fr u , m not nt even a virgin anymore, hw shud i take this"/. But my heart was lost. I dint know nd even i donno wat i shud do.I wanted a safer side and was just waiting for a mistake from her side to occur so that i cud give a reason to mreak up.And den on 4th day she told me dat she was hidin something from me for OUR own good. I asked wat.. She told m very sorry to tel u this now, it s dat " Before u , i was in relationship with 2 other guys, they too had problems and they left me ,all saying that they wanted to see me happyand for my good, now u are also doing the same??" I was shocked to hear this, and asked her why she didnt tell about her previous relationships before, and she told that she wanted to forget those days and start a new life. She had broken my trust.I just got a reason to quit our relationship and told her i cant take this anymore.She begged me to return , but somewer i felt there were 2 reasons for me not to come back . One is that i had now got a chance to stay away from a bonded relationship where i would face a lot of problems in our future because of our age differences in a decent family, and the other because she had lied to me about her relationships.. But now after a week, she is forcin me to come back to her. She even blackmails me of telling her parents that we were physical with each other and stuffs. She has turned out to be a witch in my life.. I know the major reason for mistakes in my life is me, myself. But i feel very guilty and very bad at times. And also little worried about what she might do next to get me back. I hv told her that as a friend i wil b der with u , but nothing more.. She always asks to give a chance which i cannot.. What should i do?? This is not my individual problem, many of my friends are stuck up in a similar situation.They jus wanna b free and never be in a relationship again. What do u think i shud do??

  2. #2
    Shirantha
    Shirantha is offline eTI Member
    That is very serious and complicated issue and frankly I would refrain from saying anything here , I will leave it for experts and pray good for you.

  3. #3
    lostmyluv
    lostmyluv is offline Just in!

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    How i wish i could tell all u men r fuckin jerks. You guys randomly get close to a girl knowing everything abut her, be it her caste her age her looks n wat not, propose her, show all da fairly tale dreams to her n say "baby u r my life, i cannot imagine a life w/o u" n all bull shit n da girl would believe it. You guys literally make da right use of a weak moment n get physical, when ever u need "it" u guys call her, talk very sweetly n romanticly n go physical very frequent. But when da time of responsibility comes like discussing wit parents for marriage, etc all ua promises n words will vanish. Plans n plots, internet searches on how to get rid of a girl will be ON. As you said, you guys catch some point on her n blame her dat because u r dis or u did so n so i will never come back to u, i hate u, get out of my life or i can just be ur fren n help u in all times as a well wisher. BULL SHIT. Shame on u guys.

    Mr Lovelife24, ur girl had a relation in da past, agreed dat was a flaw on her side for ur luck but wat if she was real pure? Boy, plz understand da meaning of da word COMMITMENT, jus dont use it for ur status if u have a girl or not.. NO.. we girls really really trust u, u guys might just think on where to go tomo for a dinner, wat to buy for her, or where do i take her so dat i dont get disturbed for a long kiss but we dream abu da day to touch ur parents feet for blessings holding ur hand for da future endeavours. We blindly trust u guys n treat u as our 1st child, pamper u'll, love u'll and wait for a day to place our babies in ur hands n show our kids dat see i have a 30 yr old child whom i love more dan u. But u!!!!!!!! our plot is to build da castle, ur plot is to break da same castle. Guys, if u have so much physical urgency plz tell ua mom "mom, its hell for me, plz get me a wife", if u'll cant, plz do something else but don use us as call girls.

    I'm sure, now u will move on in life, get ur new job n life will be happy. Down da line 4 yrs ur parents would get u married. If all men r like u, then i bet, u wouldn't be da 1st guy to share bed wit ua parents chosen, beloved, goddess wife.

    By now, u must've understood on y am i talking dis way. Yes! u r right!! i had a jerk like u in my life for 6 long yrs. Same caste, m elder by 9 months. Everything was nice but when da time for marriage came, he became sissy. He remembered everything which he forgot da last 6 yrs. MISTAKE!!!

  4. #4
    Aarish Rizvi's Avatar
    Aarish Rizvi
    Aarish Rizvi is offline eTI Bronze
    What if I say same for girl ?
    You are putting everyone in same shoe. I won't comment on OP but I have read your comment, see you are right there are guys who are fraud and actually are always with girl with intention of entertainment but you are girls are also jerks. I have seen many cases where idiot girls feels good and want to be with a guy who want to only use her and abuse her but on the other hand there are guys who really admire them but they don't find them good enough. They ignore them and blah blah. Many cases I have seen where a guy is in love with girl truely and deeply but the girl is busy with other guy who happens to be very good in making them fool.

    And what about those guys who actually take action against every one and marry girl of their dream, I know a couple who married from different caste and all the complication they faced from Police to society and all but they are now married, now he is separated from society just because his love.

    Also, I know a couple of in which girls is not ready to take decision as both are not from same caste, boy is like if she has no courage, how can he move ahead when he is not even sure that the girl will support him. After some time, that guy will get married to other girl as his parents are looking to get him married soon. .. Now the other girl from other caste whom he love will remember him as JERK .. but who is jerk .. the girl.. after 2-3 years when she learns more about life then she will realize..how it feels to find some who actually loves her truely and one should never let love go.. but by then that guy will not be with her... any more..

    Come'n , learn to differentiate between good and bad.. its your mistake you didn't realize .. now don't blame on guy.. Just to tell you, I know lots of guy who always do this and share rheir story every now and then..those are really lessons when girls blindly or may be knowingly get in those traps.. then blames boys.. !!!

  5. #5
    lostmyluv
    lostmyluv is offline Just in!
    Mr Yahoo, u r absolutely rite!! i buy ur point as its valid. My view is about all those jery bastards n bitches who use true love. I am not supporting girls saying v r innocent, at da same time i am not saying all men r da same but as i told i double n fickle minded men r bastards.

  6. #6
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hello guys,

    Both of you( Yahoo and lostmylove ) are right in your thinking. You cannot point to boys and girls in general stating everybody is corrupt.
    You guys are not new to this forum. Everyday, you see couple of threads running where sometimes the guy is wrong and sometimes the girl. Relationship are, were and always will be unpredictable and guarantee-less. The point here I want to make is you guys should stop fighting on the forum and stop blaming. The best you can do is, join the forum and mentor people who find difficulty in swimming across this ocean of love, hate, deceit and full of problems.


    Its rightly said :

    There is always a guy in a girl's life
    Whom she can never forget.
    And, there is always a girl in a guy's life
    Whom he can never get...!!!


    So, stop fighting !!!


    @lostmylove : I remember there was a thread running in your name but there isn't any input from you on it so far. Kindly let us know whats happening in your life.
    Last edited by Pulkit; 12-03-2012 at 06:53 PM.
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


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  8. #7
    Aarish Rizvi's Avatar
    Aarish Rizvi
    Aarish Rizvi is offline eTI Bronze
    I am not fighting but "lostmyluv" surrendered so easily, I think may be she didn't stand firmly in her relation too .. ..

  9. #8
    lostmyluv
    lostmyluv is offline Just in!
    woah woah, guys arish n pulkit m not at all fighting.. NO WAY :P all i have to say is be it da boy or da girl in any relation, we need to give it 100% inspite of parents, brothers, frens, monsters or be it black magic also trying to separate da bond NEVA EVEA leave da hand when promised once to stay bonded life long. Da world is very fashionable, growing each day n says move on if we dont get something which we tried for, but i still din grow, m still in those ages where loving only one person was believed in. Now as i see so many breakups, ditches, hurting each other, parents BIG BIG NO n guys /girls then thinking of leaving da partner is frustrating me to da core. Hating da word called love after being in a relation for 6 yrs which is no more alive..

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